IELTS task 2 morning 19/8 - Vinh - FASHION

Question

some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. others say this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. discuss + opinion.

One of the highly controversial debate relates to whether fashion accessories cost an arm and a leg or they have reasonable prices. From my perspective, the price of fashion objects is fair due to their good features.

Advocates of the former view might assert that many fashion stuffs are costly with an unimaginable price. First of all, brand-name fashion companies create prestige products made from premium materials with limited number, which cost a fortune to own them. By way of illustration, Himalayan Nilo Crocodile Birkin, whose design is superlative with fabulous materials such as white gold and diamond, was auctioned for 200 000 USD. Second, upper classes tend to possess luxurious items which are the symbol of wealth and power. Therefore, fashion manufacturers produce high-quality goods with exorbitant prices to meet the clients' demands.

However, I support the view that the price of fashion stuff is acceptable because of several reasons. Firstly, fashion which plays an indispensable part in our daily life is not only decorative but also functional. To exemplify, smartwatch which captures the attention of both fashionistas and technology followers could perform basic tasks such as calculations, digital time telling and game-playing. As a result, 200 USD per smartwatch is considered to be a good bargain that many people pay top dollar for these objects. Secondly, designing trendy clothes is a challenging task which takes numerous hours and effort. According to people working in fashion business. you cannot criticise the price until you know how hard to make an exclusive item.

In conclusion, although the clothes cost a pretty penny, I think their price is reasonable due to their quality.

 

Answer 1

Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/IELTS-task-2-morning-19.8-Vinh-FASHION_Correction.docx

One of the highly controversial debate relates to whether fashion accessories cost an arm and a leg[N1]  or they have reasonable prices. From my perspective, the price of fashion objects is fair due to their good features.

 

Advocates of the former view might assert that many fashion stuffs[N2] [N3]  are costly with an unimaginable price. First of all, brand-name fashion companies create prestige products made from premium materials with limited number[N4] , which cost a fortune to own them. By way of illustration, Himalayan Nilo Crocodile Birkin, whose design[N5]  is superlative with fabulous materials such as white gold and diamond, was auctioned for 200 000 USD.[N6]  Second, upper classes tend to possess luxurious items which are the symbol of wealth and power. Therefore, fashion manufacturers produce high-quality goods with exorbitant prices to meet the clients' demands.[N7]

 

However, I support the view that the price of fashion stuff is acceptable because of several reasons. Firstly[N8] , fashion which plays an indispensable part in our daily life is not only decorative but also functional. To exemplify, smartwatch[N9]  which captures the attention of both fashionistas and technology followers could perform basic tasks such as calculations, digital time telling and game-playing. As a result, 200 USD per smartwatch is considered to be a good bargain that many people pay top dollar for these objects. Secondly[N10] , designing trendy clothes is a challenging task which takes numerous hours and effort. According to people working in fashion business[N11] . you cannot criticise the price until you know how hard to make an exclusive item.

 

In conclusion, although the clothes cost a pretty penny, I think their price is reasonable due to their quality. 

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 [N1]Idea suggestion: This idiom is informal and there for should not be used in writing. You can use “extremely expensive”.

 [N2]Grammar error: Stuff is an uncountable noun and an informal one.

 [N3]Idea suggestion: You should use other words like “fashion products”.

 [N4]Grammar error: Missing article “a”

Grammar error: The name is referred to a bag so that you cannot use whose.

 [N6]Idea suggestion: You can say “Himalayan Nilo Crocodile Birkin, which has a superlative design with fabulous materials such as white gold and diamond, was auctioned for 200 000 USD.”

 [N7]Idea suggestion: This paragraph should cover the perspective of those who think that fashion is too expensive and why they prefer it to be cheaper. But most of the ideas are about justifying the price of the expensive products which might not be satisfy the requirements of the topic which ask you to discuss both sides.

 [N8]Idea suggestion: You can use other words like “To begin with”

 [N9]Grammar error: Missing article “a“

 [N10]Idea suggestion: You can use other words like: “Furthermore”, “In addition”

 [N11]Grammar error: Missing article “the”