WRITING TASK 1.The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

Question

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

 

 

The graph below illustrates the total university gradutes in both genders in Canada between 1992 and 2007, a period of 15 years.

Overall, both genders showed a strong movement upwards within 15 years. However, the number of females is much more than males in all the given time.

In 1992, there are about under 100 000 women graduates from universities, but it has a gradual climb in over 3 years later to 105 000 people. In the next 3 years, although the line showed a slight decrease, from 1998 it went up considerately and reached the peak of nearly 150 000 people in 2007.

Meanwhile, in 1992, just about 70 000 men got their degrees and until 1995, it increased to nearly 50 000 people. In the next 3 years, the number of males had a slow movement downwards identically to the number of females. It also fluctuated slightly about in 3 years after, from 1998 to 2001. Nonetheless, from 2001, the line went up dramatically to approximately 100 000 men graduated.

Answer 1

i will follow IELTS TASK 1 Writing band descriptors : 

Task achievement: Clear overview and examiner want to see comparison so you shouldn’t describe each line separately 

Vocabulary : not need use ‘below’, the word ’considerately ’ is not suitable so you can use ’considerably’ instead, Wrong spelling ‘gradutes’, all the given time is not good choice instead you can use ‘the period shown’, You should use 100,000 … instead 100 000 and 3 you should write ‘three’ in academic style 

Grammar some errors such as :

- 'a strong movement upwards’ is wrong because upward is a adjective instead you can use : showed an upward movement strongly

- 'had a slow movement downwards identically’ is wrong so you can write: had a downward movement slightly

- you should use past tense to describe this line

Coherence:presents information with some organisation is not clear

So i think band 5 should be convenient.