Essay topics: Some people think that planning for future is a waste of time. They believe it is more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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It is thought that thinking of the future is time-wasting so a concentration of the reality is more significant. As supposed to them, I disagree with the idea that it is unnecessary for people to have an aim for their dreams hereafter.

Initially, a preparation for the future will bring motivation and inspiration in order to keep conducting what they want to. They will be willing to be risky to pass every barricade even it is uphill by means of their enthusiasm as well as afflatus. If they don't own any futurity projects, they just spend time on trivial things so they will have a vague future. For instance, Barbara McClintock, who is a famous female scientist, has been dreaming of being a physicist when she was young. Then she started to work harder to make her dream real. She spared days and months on doing an experiment, taking part in a science club and finishing scientific homework until midnight. Obviously, because she had a lucid ambition, she always tried her best to complete everything regarding science.

Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I also believe that persons who have a decision for the future will practice themselves many virtues during planning. Following dreams and targets is not easy so they have to be patient. When there are unexpected problems or something make them unable to understand, instead of ignoring, they will find out until they comprehended. Moreover, creativity is one of the good qualities they gradually become. They make use of this virtuousness to create new and wonderful products. Consequently, these two moral excellences may help people to work in any stressful environments.

Overall, I suppose that future planning is crucial on account of its encouragement of motive and incentive besides personality improvement.

 

Anh chị sửa giúp em với!Thanks mọi người ạ!

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Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Writing-Task-2_-Planning-for-future-3.docx

CRITERIA

GRADE

COMMENT

 Task Response

5

• addresses the requirements of the task
• (A) presents an overview with information appropriately
selected
• (GT) presents a purpose that is generally clear; there may
be inconsistencies in tone
• presents and adequately highlights key features/ bullet
points but details may be irrelevant, inappropriate or
inaccurate

Coherence and Cohesion

5

• arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a
clear overall progression
• uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within
and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
• may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

Lexical Resource

6

• uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
• attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some
inaccuracy
• makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but
they do not impede communication

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6

• uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
• makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they
rarely reduce communication

Overall

5.5

 

 

 

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Bài này hơi bị nhiều lỗi à nha, mà không sao đâu, đừng buồn ,giờ mình sửa một vài lỗi thôi nha , mai mình sửa tiếp nhé !

It is thought that thinking of the future is time-wasting (tránh lặp lại từ của đề bài, thay bằng time-consuming ) so a concentration of the reality is more significant. As supposed to  (opposed ) to them (Mình nghĩ ý của bạn là : trái ngược ý với họ , phải không ? vậy thì dùng as opposed to them nhé ), I disagree with the idea that it is unnecessary(hoặc not essential ) for people to have an aim for their dreams (có mục đích cho những ước mơ, tiếng việt nghe thấy cũng kỳ kỳ sao ấy, thay bằng have aims/ intentions )   hereafter.

Nhận xét: phần paraphrase chưa tốt lắm ! 

Đọc thêm : phân biệt aim và dream. Mai xem tiếp

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-an-aim-and-a-dream

 

 

 

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cảm ơn bạn nhé. Mình mới tập tành viết nên paraphase chưa giỏi. Bạn xem giúp mình phần còn lại với!

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