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It is true that many people believe that government  resources should be allocate on hospitals and schools rather than funding for the arts. i completely agree with this idea

There are a variety of reasons why government  provide funding money for the arts. One reason is that the public demand for entertaiment of all kinds continues to grow. Tourisrs flock in thousands to experience the works of art in the LOurve in Paris,to see a shakespeare play in England or to listen to live musicplayed by their favourite performers and genres of music. Furthermore, A cultural perspective artists have to be encouraged and a talented playwright or scultor would never able to develop those talents if goverment not provide public subsidies

Apart from the benefits expressed above, I believe that Spending on health and education should be top government priorities. Firstly, the goverment need to prioritize expenditure on medical in order to save lives. For example funding money for public health services will stop the out break of an epidemic. Secondly, the government spent money for education which is important for everyone . If the poor people have not enough money for study or learn, they will recieve scholarship from government .

In conclusion. I believe that spending on health and education should be top government priorities than funding resoureces on Arts
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It is true that many people believe that government  resources should be allocated on hospitals and schools rather than funding for the arts.From my perpective, thic trend is completely positive

There are a variety of reasons why government  provide funding money for the arts. One reason is that the public demand for entertaiment of all kinds continues to grow. floods of tourists experience the works of art in the LOurve in Paris,to see a shakespeare play in England or to listen to live music played by their favourite performers and genres of music. Furthermore, A cultural perspective artists have to be encouraged and a talented playwright or scultor would never able to develop those talents if goverment not provide public subsidies

Apart from the benefits expressed above, I believe that Spending on health and education should be top government priorities. Firstly, the goverment need to prioritize expenditure on medical in order to save lives. For example funding money for public health services will stop the outbreak of an epidemic. Secondly, the government spent money for education which is important for everyone . If the poor people have not enough money for study or learn, they will recieve scholarship from government .

In conclusion. I believe that spending on health and education should be top government priorities rather  than funding resoureces on Arts

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (6 điểm)
0 phiếu

Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Writing-Task-2_-Government-budget-2.docx

CRITERIA

    GRADE

COMMENT

 Task Response

4

• attempts to address the task but does not cover all key
features/bullet points; the format may be inappropriate
• (GT) fails to clearly explain the purpose of the letter; the
tone may be inappropriate
• may confuse key features/bullet points with detail; parts
may be unclear, irrelevant, repetitive or inaccurate

Coherence and Cohesion

4

• presents information and ideas but these are not arranged
coherently and there is no clear progression in the
response
• uses some basic cohesive devices but these may be
inaccurate or repetitive

Lexical Resource

4

• uses only basic vocabulary which may be used repetitively
or which may be inappropriate for the task
• has limited control of word formation and/or spelling;
• errors may cause strain for the reader

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

4

• uses only a very limited range of structures with only rare
use of subordinate clauses
• some structures are accurate but errors predominate, and
punctuation is often faulty

Overall

4.0

 

 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (241 điểm)
0 phiếu

It is true that many people believe that government  resources should be allocated on hospitals and schools rather than funding for the arts.From my perpective, thic trend is completely positive 

There are a variety of reasons why government  provide funding money for the arts. One reason is that the public demand for entertaiment of all kinds continues to grow. floods of tourists experience the works of art in the LOurve in Paris,to see a shakespeare play in England or to listen to live music played by their favourite performers and genres of music. Furthermore, A cultural perspective artists have to be encouraged and a talented playwright or scultor would never able to develop those talents if goverment not provide public subsidies 

Apart from the benefits expressed above, I believe that Spending on health and education should be top government priorities. Firstly, the goverment need to prioritize expenditure on medical in order to save lives. For example funding money for public health services will stop the outbreak of an epidemic. Secondly, the government spent money for education which is important for everyone . If the poor people have not enough money for study or learn, they will recieve scholarship from government . 

In conclusion. I believe that spending on health and education should be top government priorities rather  than funding resoureces on Arts

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (95 điểm)
0 phiếu

tớ thấy ý tưởng bài bạn khá tốt, nhưng nên chú ý thêm về cách sử dụng từ 
From my perpective, thic trend is completely positive  

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (124 điểm)

Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
Đăng ký quy đổi điểm tại: Form đổi điểm lấy quà"

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