266 views
0 votes
0 votes
Anh chị em sữa giúp mình bài này với, chấm điểm luôn đi ạ, chủ quan ko chính xác cũng dc

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

 

It is widely believed that university students should be granted more freedom to learn anything that are in their favour. Others might believe that studying science and technology-related subject should be more viable for undergraduates. In my opinion, deciding whether to follow any given path heavily depends on the educational system.

 

On the one hand, it is often thought that people who pursue what they are into are more likely to succeed in the area that they are following. Because, simply, there will be a feeling of felicitation to do what they are truly passionate for. It, therefore, could sometime be the key to unlock the learners’ infinite creativity. Furthermore, students are often really disoriented when it comes to career choice, leaving every door open for them to explore what they are truly excel at should be more feasible.

 

On the other hand, sciences and mathematics should be the only options that students are able to choose, according to some. It is easy to recognize that technological professions are increasingly more favourable for graduates, as the ever-increasing demand. Therefore, concentrating on high-tech professions would be an advantages for students to compete against others in the job market.

 

Finally, In my opinion, both given choices vary from countries to countries. Pursuing the learners’ passions are often controversially considered really risky, time-wasting because the higher-education tuition fee are often exorbitant, and it takes a long time to become an expert at something before entering the workforce. Having said that, the higher-education tuition fees are immensely different from country to country. In the U.S, for most of the cases, going to  a university often leads to debts up to hundreds of thousands, which takes years to pay back, which does not worth the move, meanwhile, in many others, college-education is free or a lot more affordable.

 

In conclusion, despite the fact that people have different points of views, I still believe the track the students should choose relies on theirs financial status as well as their ability.
by
0 points

Please log in or register to answer this question.

1 Answer

0 votes
0 votes
Chào bạn, mình cũng đang luyện tập viét như bạn. Sau đây là góp ý của mình sau khi đọc bài, nhưng mình không thể cho điểm được, bạn thông cảm nhé.

1.  "Others might believe that": từ belive ở đây mình có thể dùng từ " assume/suppose" để tránh lặp từ.

2. Từ "deciding" =>> "selecting"

3. Cụm "It is easy..." =>> " It is apparent..

4. Cụm "going to" =>> "moving to"
  
5. Câu "debts up to hundreds of thousands" =>> ban nên giải thích hoặc đổi câu này. Một con số cụ thể hoặc là nợ về cái gì.

Mình nghĩ lối hành văn của bạn hay. Nếu mình có thể chi điểm thì bài bạn tầm band 6.5 - 7.0.
Mong nhận phản hồi từ bạn, cảm oen bạn.
by
52 points

Related questions

0 votes
0 votes
0 answers
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer