There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Question

It is obvious that many genres of music are admired thesedays and they play a significant role in our lives. Albeit the international music is so popular nowadays, I argue that the traditional one is more important.
There are compelling reasons why music is of paramount importance. First of all, music is something that accompanies with us through our lives. In our childhood, we all relish the lullabies our mothers sing at nights. Afterward, when we have been being mature, we listen to music as an entertainment in such that hetic life. In addition, people would be more optimistic, younger and healthier by music. According to an American scientist, listening to music while eating can decrease cortisol concentration that increase people's food intake and meal duration.
At the same time, I believe the traditional music is much more essential than the international one. Pop music is savoured especially by young generation because of being catchy and fun. However, it is truly a commercial product and worthless. By contrast, the ethnic music expresses the valuable cultures and history of the countries. Therefore, we can discriminate between nations. Personally, I think government should evolve the national styles progressively.
In conclusion, music which is such a vital thing in life, we have to preserve especially the traditional one.

Answer 1

- However, it is truly a commercial product and worthless. By contrast, the ethnic music expresses the valuable cultures and history of the countries.

=> However, it is truly a commercial and worthless product/ it has commercial values. (Mình nghĩ không nên nói nó wothless)

=> By contrast, the ethnic music expresses the valuable culture and the history of each country.

- In conclusion, music which is such a vital thing in life, we have to preserve especially the traditional one

=> In conclusion, music is such a vital thing in life that we have to preserve it, especially the traditional one.

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