ways to have a good health

Question

 

All people in the world wants to a better life so they always try the best in working or studying. However, you should take care of your health because you can not do anything without a healthy body.

For example, they sometimes work late and eat fastfood. It is extremely harmful to health because working late that you have deflected the body's biological clock. Fastfood is very fat, it can increase lipit and make you fatter.

Secondly, less mobility. Nowadays, people who working on office always sit many hours in front of their working desk and spend less time to do physical activities. As you know, our body was born to mobilize so less mobility will decrease this function and weakens us.

In conclusion, we should avoid doing these thing like this, create a suitable timetable to work and relax.

 

Answer 1

Theo mình, bài viết của bạn quá ngắn (140 từ) không đáp ứng yêu cầu của bài thi (ít nhất 250 từ). 

 All people in the world wants to a better life so they always try the best in working or studying.

- wants to -> want

- the best -> their best 

- in working or studying -> to work or to study.