Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that is better to get a job straight after scool

Question

it is believed that students should enter the labor force after school rather than studying at university or college. I would argue that it is better to have higher education.

The option to start finding a job after graduate is attractive for several reasons. Many young people want to help their parents with finacial problems. Work means steady earning, so that they can make a living without support from family. In terms of career, they can gain on the job experiences and practical skills quicker than those in university. That will help them to promote and have a successful career. In addition, working creates a feeling of responsibility which helps students become independent and self-reliant at younger age.

On the other hand, I believe having a university or college degree brings many benefits. Firstly, students can do jobs such as doctor and lawyer which require specialized knowledge that they only attain in university or college. To be a doctor, students have to understand deeply about, for example, symtomps and problems of illness. This cannot accquire by observing and praticing only. Secondly, the labor market now is highly competitive and a profession certificate will assure students a better future. A degree will helps them more outstanding and it will be easier to find a promising job with high earning and oppotunities.

For the reason mentioned above, students should keep studying and learing at university or college for a successful career.

Answer 1

Bạn nên thay can, will,.. các từ mang tính khẳng định bằng các từ như could, may,.. vì IELTS mình k được dùng thể khẳng định mà

" a feeling of responsibility " cái này phải là a sense of responsibility nhé

" brings many benefits" nên thay bằng offers numerous merits nghe sẽ academic hơn

" To be a doctor, students have to understand deeply about, for example, symtomps and problems of illness. This cannot accquire by observing and praticing only. " 

2 câu này nên dùng mệnh đề quan hệ ghép vào và câu đầu dùng To be a doctor cũng k academic đâu nhé