Some people say that children nowadays have more freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give your own examples and opinions
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          Question: Some people say that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give your opinions and examples.

 

When mentioning children living in this day and age, some people believe that the amount of freedom given to children nowadays is somehow greater than previous generations. While I agree that it is true, I am completely convinced that freedom is confined to children in some aspects.

          On the one hand, with the non-stop growth of society, the living standard of each family is also improved day by day. That is the reason why parents tend to overindulge their kids more than before, so children are inclined to freely require what they want, usually including material life. For example, they can require their parents to buy toys or food they like. In addition, because we are living in an age of rapid techological advance, children have more opportunities to access to foreign films, music, or source of entertainments, facebook ,etc. Moreover, the life becomes increasingly westernized. Therefore, the fact that they make friends by themselve via the media or even become freer to have sexual relationships with the friends is quite popular now. It is not surprising to see the growing rate of cohabitation and abortion in the early teens, which was rarely seen in the past.

          On the other hand, children presently are given less freedom in some aspects in life. When society is developing, each family has a tendency to have fewer kids. In terms of the shortcoming of the social advance, there appears more social evils or crimes in the community. The two above reasons can affirm that so much attention to kids is paid by parents that they have set rules to children so as to overprotect them. For example, parents do not let their kids go to school on their own, or what the kids do , meet some should be given permission. Take me as a living proof, my dad nevers allows me to go out or meet some one after 8pm. This will result in a restriction to children in communicating with the surrounding world. Another point to support this less freedom is many parents today tend to interfere in choosing the major or future job for the children without caring what they want to study or which job to do. They seem to control their children in order to catch up with the currently developing society trend regardless of listening to their real ability as well as ambitions. For instance, children are fond of art,but they are obliged to major in medicine.

          In a nutshell, personally I believe the offsprings in this modern time are free to some certain extent, but lack freedom in other aspects.

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When mentioning (Regarding) children living in this day and age, some people believe that the amount of freedom given to children nowadays is somehow greater than the previous generations were given . While I agree that it is true, I am completely convinced that freedom is confined to children in some aspects.

          On the one hand, with the non-stop growth of society, the living standard of each family is also improved day by day. That is the reason why parents tend to overindulge their kids more than before, so children are inclined to freely require what they want, usually including material life. For example, they can require ask (require is more like: the standard to meet some level) their parents to buy toys or food they like. In addition, because we are living in an age of rapid techological advance,children have more opportunities to access to foreign films, music, or source of entertainments, facebook ,etc. Moreover, the life becomes increasingly westernized (mordernized) Therefore, the fact that they make friends by themselve via the media or even become freer to have sexual relationships with the friends is QUITE popular now. It is not surprising to see the growing rate of cohabitation and abortion in the early teens, which was rarely seen in the past.

          On the other hand, children presently are given less freedom in some aspects in life. When society is developing, each family has a tendency to have fewer kids. In terms of the shortcoming of the social advance, there appears more social evils or crimes in the community. The two above reasons can affirm that so much more attention to kids is paid by parents that they have set rules to children so as to overprotect them. For example, parents do not let their kids go to school on their own, or what the kids do, meet some should be iven permission. Take me as a living proof, my dad nevers allows me to go out or meet some one after 8pm. This will result in a restriction to children in communicating with the surrounding world. Another point to support this less freedom point is many parents today tend to interfere in choosing the major or FUTUREimage job for the children without caring what they want to study or which job to do. They seem to control their children in order to catch up with the currently developing society trend regardless of listening to their real ability as well as ambitions. For instance, children are fond of art,but they are obliged to major in medicine.

          In a nutshell, personally I believe the offsprings in this modern time are free to some certain extent, but lack freedom in other aspects.

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Thank you so much for your correction! Anyway, I just wanna know how you thịnk about the content and whether it meets enough 4 requirements of Ielts writing task 2 or not.
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Hello  Followupdream, as you wish, I would like to contribute some of my opinions about your content:

- The first paragraph:  Moreover, the life becomes increasingly westernized(mordernized) Therefore, the fact that they make friends by themselve via the media or even become freer to have sexual relationships with the friends is QUITE popular now ----> I think you should rewrite briefly, maybe like: Moreover, the life becomes mordernized, the children have more chances to open up and expand their social life through internet and other social medias.

- The second paragraph: Parents overprotect their children due to the increasing numbers of social evils. ----> increasing numbers of social evils means more protection needed, it does not mean "overprotected". Instead, I suggest changing the point into: "Nowadays, parents tend to overprotect their children. As a result of this, the children might be inactive and embarassed  when it comes the time for them to handle everything themselves. Take Vietnamese college students as an example,....."

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