People think that children nowadays have more freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Children have long been supposed to be the new owners of life. Today, many people hold the view that children have the ability to live without any limitations. From my personal perspective, I completely agree with this opinion.

 

To begin with, it is worth pointing out that taking care of children in the right direction is surely the most crucial mission of parents. Firstly, when totally understanding that freedom is the great opportunity for children to discover their own potential, pursue their interests as well as follow their passion, parents will give their children as much freedom as possible. Besides, in the past, strict parenting method with oversupervision was applied to raise children. For instance, many parents used to demand excellence from their kids so that they had to meet their parents’ high expectations without any motivations, but it is now no longer the case. To be more precise, it is generally believed that parents today tend to be more open-mined and they do not put any pressure on their children. As the certain result, children can upgrade themselves without any concerns about standards required from their parents. Hence, we cannot deny the fact that hardly can children express their point of view as well as demonstrate their tanlents without having freedom.

 

On the other hand, it is evident that freedom seems to be the basic foundation of the civilized society. In other words, in the fast changing world with many innovations, children can have the better condition to develop themselves in all aspects. To be more specific, children today can obtain unrestricted reservoir of human knowledge when accessing to information from various multimedia sources. Obviously, not only can children accumulate precious knowledge but also upgrade themselves with essential skills. Therefore, having freedom may be perceived as the step toward maturity.

 

To sum up, I am firmly convinced that children today have more and more freedom and this tendency may have positive effects on their life in the long run. Moreover, it can be reiterated that people are encouraged to do everything freely to be well-rounded person as long as they do not harm others.

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1 Answer

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Hi yvyngo, mình thấy bài bạn khá ổn, nhưng có một số ít điểm mình nghĩ là nên cải hiện. 

1. Số từ trong bài viết của bạn khá lớn: 357từ. Với số lượng này thì minh ngại là bạn khó có thể hoàn thành bài viết trong 40 phút thi. Bạn có thể cố gắng gói gọn lại từ 270 - 290 từ, đây la mức được khuyến khích khi làm bài thi. 

2. Cần chú ý thêm chút về từ vựng như: over supervision, tanlents, fast-changing. 

Tích lũy của bạn đã đạt trên 10 điểm nên có thể bài sẽ được chấm bởi team writing 7.5 của Chữa Writing miễn phí đó. 

 

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