Some people think that only staff who have worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to a higher position. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

It is believed that only workers who have been of service for such a long time should be elevated to a better rank. While I agree that those employees are important factors to the success of the company, I would argue that it would be best for companies to have a diverse policy in the promotion area.

 

To begin with, it is a fact beyond dispute that personnel are suitable with the higher positions. First, workers who have served the company for a long period are familiar with the culture and the policy of the company. Secondly, these competent laborers who are able to speak from experience can guide and lead the new workmen on the right path, which I believe is one of the most imperative keys to the growth and the stability of the company. For these reasons I have mentioned, I suppose it is reasonable to promote experienced staff to higher ranks.

 

On the other hand, it is evident that elevating merely workers employed for an extended period is not beneficial; in contrast, it has a negative influence on the expansion of the company. First and foremost, if they apply such policy, rookies will find no point of putting more efforts into the job since no matter how hard they try, those new workers will not get a better position. Moreover, this promotion system will lower the chance of attracting talented people to come to work for the company, which has a powerful impact on the organization in such a competitive market.

 

In conclusion, there is no doubt about the importance of long-serving staff, but I think it is better for companies to take elevating junior workers into consideration.

 

Answer 1

Hi kuro.iwnl mình có vài góp ý ở bài viết bạn xem qua nhé.

It is believed ( bắt đầu bằng câu bị động mình hiếm khi thấy ở bài mẫu)   that only workers who have been of service for such a long time should be elevated to a better rank. While I agree that those employees are important factors to the success of the company, I would argue that it would be best for companies to have a diverse policy => policies in the promotion area.

To begin with, it is a fact beyond dispute that personnel are suitable with the higher positions ( câu này của bạn ko có clear ý chính cho  nguyên đoạn 1 này ). First, workers who have served ( mình nghĩ thì này phù hợp hơn have been serving)  the company for a long period are familiar with the culture and the policy of the company. Secondly, these competent laborers ( từ này nghĩa của nó ko đại diện cho nhân viên làm lâu ở công ty) who are able to speak from experience can guide and lead the new workmen ( Từ này là nhân viên làm việc chân tay, k phù hợp nội dung của đoạn )  on the right path, which I believe is one of the most imperative keys to the growth and the stability of the company. For these reasons I have mentioned, I suppose it is reasonable to promote experienced staff to higher ranks.

 

On the other hand, it is evident that elevating merely workers employed for an extended period is not beneficial ( câu này dài quá mình nghĩ nó có sai ngữ pháp á :)); in contrast, it has a negative influence on the an expansion of the company. First and foremost, if they apply such this policy, rookies will find no point of putting more efforts into the their jobs since no matter how hard they try, those new workers will not get a better position. Moreover, this promotion system will lower the chance of attracting talented people to come to work for the company, which has a powerful impact on the organization in such a competitive market.

 

In conclusion, there is no doubt about the importance of long-serving staff, but I think it is better for companies to take elevating junior workers into consideration.

Answer 2

tớ thấy ý tưởng bài bạn cũng được, nhưng bạn đên chú ý vào cấu trúc câu, ngữ pháp nhé