Some people think that they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help student find a job instead of traditional subjects such as history. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
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Since school curriculum includes various traditional subjects that is concerned to be unnecessary for the employability of students in the future such as history. I definitely agree with this view.
To begin with, history is a very important subject which provides a large amount of essential knowledge about remarkable events of the world. However, forcing students to fill their head with immense variety of subjects that are irrelevant to professional degree their future job required. Employers specially take notice of how professional you are at working, therefore, students should focus on oriented subjects so as to acquire necessary knowledge and enhance their skills on that field.
The main purpose of going to school is to learn inevitable proficiency which will help them to stand a high chance of being employed and getting further promotion. On the other hand, the goal of education is not only to provide expertise needed for the career but to fulfill a well-balanced overall knowledge. Students should be carefully classified and choose the main subjects that suits their ability, but they have to learn the basic knowledge of other subjects. Nevertheless, if students choose the wrong subjects, it can lead them to a wrong career which will serious affect their future life.
To sum up, traditional subjects are undoubtedly crucial to students but career prospect is much more important. Therefore, giving the students the opportunity of finding suitable job is the first priority.
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Dùng On the other hand khi trong bài có 2 sides. TRong case này, nên dùng In addition/ moreover sẽ hợp lý hơn.

Introduction: Phần parashrase vẫn chưa làm rõ ý của câu hỏi. 

Nếu bài hoàn toàn đồng ý với câu chủ đề đưa ra, thì không nên có câu: history is a very important subject which provides a large amount of essential knowledge about remarkable events of the world. Vì câu này làm cho lập luận bớt thuyết phục.

 

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Since school curriculum includes various traditional subjects that is concerned to be unnecessary for the employability of students in the future such as history. I definitely agree with this view.
To begin with, history is a very important subject which provides a large amount of essential knowledge about remarkable events of the world. However, forcing students to fill their head with immense variety of subjects that are irrelevant to the professional degree their future job required. ( Câu này không có S-V ) ( Being acquired the essential knowledge and skills from the university will help their student to find a suitable jobs positions according to their abilities and their degree) Employers specially take notice of how professional you are at work, therefore, students should focus on oriented subjects so as to acquire the necessary knowledge and enhance their skills in that field. ( Focusing on teaching skills is not only enhance the practical and professional skills, but it is also the basis for becoming qualified employees) 
The main purpose of going to school is to learn inevitable proficiency which will help them to stand a high chance of being employed and getting a further promotion. On the other hand, the goal of education is not only provided expertise needed for the career but to fulfill a well-balanced overall knowledge. Students should be carefully classified and chose ( đang dùng bị động ) the main subjects that suit their ability, but they have to learn the basic knowledge of other subjects. Nevertheless, if students choose the wrong subjects, it can lead them to a wrong career which will seriously ( adv + V ) affect their future life.
To sum up, traditional subjects are undoubtedly crucial to students but career prospect is much more important. Therefore, giving the students the opportunity of finding the suitable job is the first priority.
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16 points

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