Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
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There is a common fallacy that men have always held an indispensable role as breadwinners who are responsible for most of the incomes in families. They are competitive, authoritative and dynamic enough to well take over certain professional as well as managerial positions in the industrialised world. Therefore, generally compliant, vulnerable and gentle women are attributed to supporting jobs such as housewives at homes or nurses in hospitals. However, it’s unfair to distinguish the two genders by classifying the professions each should participate.

 

First and foremost, inequality in sexes is being increasingly denied in the modern days. Many nations consider it as illegal attitude toward ‘half of the world’. In the career ladder, there are the same opportunities for women and men nowsaday. In some Islamic countries where women used to be greatly refused to practise their own rights, even going to school, the status of them has recently improved and gradually respected. This leads to many successful women who work in better condition and higher ranks. Besides, it helps that females have their considerable potential to achieve big if they are not discriminated!

 

Secondly, in reality, many women can utterly do what men can or even cannot do. For instance, in the sport field, many female athletes have won gold medals in important competitions across the globe compared to the number of men, impressively in racing, martial arts, boxing, hockey and other risky one on ice,in mountains or in the currents at seas. What’s more, a large amount of women have been able to study in higher levels and got a decent job in huge organizations/companies, which can be observed in many countries including Vietnam. Therefore, it affirms that women are much stronger and more literate than they are claimed to be.

 

In addition, women are more sensitive and observant in lots of cases. These feminine characteristic when associated with those of men will help solve the problems in a more appropriate and clever way. Many think tanks in big companies are women, who consult and give advices to developing policies considerably. Hence, women play a complementary role in men’s work for their shortcoming, not men’s servants.

 

In summary, there should not be any exclusion in genders from professions. We can tell in no uncertain term that men can well do the jobs without the help of women because they do not have some special things  that women possess.
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Good morning englishliker, I enjoy reading your essay. It shows a deep and fully understanding of the writer about this topic. You chose the words very smoothly which made the essay look so neat but not lacking of information. yes

Just some minor suggestions for changing:

First and foremost, inequality in sexes is being increasingly denied (denied is more like: someone has rights to do sth but can not do it due to the denial) eradicated in the modern days.

 Besides, it helps (proves) that females have their considerable potential to achieve big if they are not discriminated! (no !)

In addition, women are more sensitive and observant in lots of cases. In this case, I suggest leaving out "sensitive". One might argue back that because women are more sensitive than men, women are not able to make integrated decisions. Being sensitive in some cases such as investing, working as a CEO can adversely affect the decision making ability.Therefore, I think just "observant" is enough!

Regards,

Duong NGUYEN

 

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mod năng nổ quá :3
kudos.
cám ơn ad :)
thanks for your feedback. i'm glad to see more of your opinions in my latter essays!
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I have to say that your piece of writing is really nice ^^and I just have some minor suggestions for better.

P/s:If I make any mistake in correcting your essay, feel free to tell me cuz we're here to learn each other. many thanks!

+ the sentence "the status of them has recently improved and gradually repected" must be changed in the passive voice instead of active voice, right? => has recently been improved.

+ in the second topic sentence, you said "many women can utterly do what men can and even cannot", u gave some examples but actually, i think it would be more persuasive if u could name some well-known women that most people know in the world as salient examples.

+ in the last sentence, maybe u are lilttle bit confused or it's the error of typing. It should be "We cannot tell in no uncertain term....." instead of "We can tell in no uncertain term..."=> u confirm ur idea that women and men should have the same right, right? ^^

just very minor mistakes I could find in ur essay. Actually, I learn a lot from yours. Thanks again!
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thanks a lot. Do correct more for me in the following time.
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Hello! I'm reading your topic and I'm really interested in it. I think you have a very good essays, good grammars, uncommon vocabularies, some of which is useful for me. Thank you!. I would want to share my essay and hope that people can help me to correct mistakes :), or rewrite it in a more geniune way.

             It is controversial whether men and women should be eliminated from some occupations that demand only the vocational characteristics of the opposite gender. In my opinion, including only males or females in some careers would be more advantageous for some reasons.

          On the organization or the employer perspectives, firms should choose people in the same sex for some jobs that only require the skills and ability of one gender in order to maintain a high qualified human resource or labor efficiency. Instead of paying the same money for people who have less work effectiveness, companies can earn more profits by hiring the higher qualified people. For example, there are some entertainment companies in Britain that only hire male dancers to perform. The reason for this is the producers and directors often desire to create a sense of believability and genuineness in their products, and it would be less believable for most audiences if a woman played a male role.

          On the employee standpoints, employing only men or women for some jobs is for their welfare, which is for their health and the safety of the workers.  Men and women have different physical and psychological dimensions. Men are considered to be stronger, determinant and physical endurance, while women are better in charge of jobs that require cleverness and meticulousness. In fact, there are some organizations in male dominated fields such as firefighting, police, sport jobs, military jobs that only hire men. It is because only men can satisfy physical requirements of the work. It maybe poses more risks on women who want to challenge themselves to join in these fields.

          Although providing job opportunities only to men or women can create some controversy against gender equality, however, it can bring more benefits to both employees and employers.
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