Topic: Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weakness.
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Topic: Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weakness. Is it right to exclude males and females from certain professions because of their genders.

 

It’s true that naturally, women and men have different strengths and weakness at not only in working but also in others fields. Although many people argue that occupations should be distinctly divided for men and women, I believe gender equality in workforce should be encouraged.

It’s no doubt that there are many jobs which have been considered as only suitable for special gender. Nevertheless, almost worker working in construction site are men and it’s rare to find any women work in there. Woman aren’t not allowed to work in these workplace to avoid having muscular disease. While , they are seen to be appropriate to light work or office work such as secretaries or teaches, sellers. In addition, managers usually divide many male-groups and female-group for more easy and convenient argument.

However, gender equality in workforce should be promoted for several reasons. Slightly different genders give us a whole view of issues and the best measures to tackle problems in working. Teacher in primary schools, for example, tend to be only suitable for female because of their carefulness and thoughtful, however, male teachers have a better understanding of the needs of young boy as their brothers and fathers. As a result, male teachers not only play a good role of a teacher but also a great father who can help their students overcome difficulties. Furthermore, acceptance of employees should based on a person ‘s personal interest instead of their gender. Nowadays, girls who have great interest in play and plane can have chance to become a good pilot which in considered as for only men. Hence, everything should be reached by both men and women.

 In conclusion, I believe there must be an equality in gender in all jobs.

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_Ở phần introduction bạn không nên copy lại đề bài :"women and men have different strengths and weakness", nên paraphase lại.

_1 vài lỗi ngữ pháp và cách dùng từ

+aren't not ---are not

+almost worker---almost workers

+secretaries or teaches, sellers.---secretaries, teaches, sellers and so on

.+play a good role of---play a role in hoặc play an important on

+should based on---should be based on

+which in consisdered as---which is consisdered as

+lặp cấu trúc should be khá nhiều , nên sử dụng các cấu trúc tương tự như would be expected to

+thiếu mạo từ "the" trong toàn bài, có thể bạn không biết đặt vào đâu là đúng (giống mình :)))

That's all.Chào thân ái & quyết thắng!

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