These days, people work in more than one job and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Question

These days, young people are encouraged to make a lot of decisions related to their future career. The majority of them are said to prefer to work in differentr places and gain life experiences, whereas some people argue that this is not always the best solution. There are certainly both advantages and disadvantages in this essay.

              Let's start looking at the advantages of changing one's career several times during the working life. One of the main positives of having more than one job is that it is a quick way to gain more money. For instance, many students could find occupations in order to become financially independent from their parents while they are still studying. Secondly, people who have the capacity to focus on their main occupation and do something else after work can gain qualifications and work experiences, which may improve their knowledge and encourage a better work-life balance.

              Turning to the other side of the argument, being unable to concentrate on your career goals is a major problem. For example, it could be hard for you to devote yourself to your most priority work because you only have little time. Another issue of having many jobs is the difficulty of balancing work life. It is really tough to gain a wide variety of work experience. It can lead to the lack of qualifications in people new occupation.

              To sum up, people should work in more than one place only if they are in need of money to have a better quality of life.

Answer 1

-These days, young people are encouraged to make a lot of decisions related to their future careers (số nhiều đúng không bạn nhỉ?)

-The majority of them are said (theo tớ nhớ thì the majority thì dùng is/was đấy cậu, hỏi Mr Google cho chắc nhé)

-There are certainly both advantages and disadvantages in this essay. (không ai nói thế này đâu cậu ạ, cậu có thể nói nôm na là There are certainly both advantages and disadvantages for this, nhưng tớ khuyến nghị là cậu nên chữa câu phía trước thành thế này

Though many people argue that working in lots of places and gaining life experiences isn't the best way to deal with future careers, I believe there are both advantages and disadvantages for this.)

-capacity to (mình nhớ là capacity of...)

-encourage a better work-life balance. (sao mình không dùng balance work and life để dễ xem tí nhỉ?)

-people's new occupation

 

In total, I highly appreciate your writing with a wide range of vocabularies and grammatical structures, however what I can see mostly in your writing is that you have a lack of 's' in many words which are in the plural form. And your idea is really good too, and don't worry about the plot inside, as that is the last one for the examiners to care about.

I love this writing. Good luck!!! Hope I help!!!

 

 

Answer 2

"There are certainly both advantages and disadvantages in this essay."
(Theo mình nên là: For me, doing more than one career has both advantages and disadvantages)