Bài IELTS Task 2 - Global warming

Question

Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What solutions are there for this problem?

Nowadays, global warming has become one of the most serious problems the whole world is facing due to human activities on land and in the sea. In my opinion, solving this international problem has to need specific solutions.

Global warming has been caused by the lack of each personal awareness in the improper disposal of chronic air from industrial ozone. Each cloud of smoke which has a huge qualify of carbon dioxide and many other toxic gases is discharged to the biosphere lead to air pollution and ruin our health. But the most dangerous influence of air pollution which is one of the main reasons result in global warming is greenhouse effect that has done a lot of damage to the ozone layer. If we want to prevent the environment from being further polluted, we have to stop wasting polluted substances to our accommodation.

The world is having difficulties to solve this problem and prevent the increase of negative influences of global warming by much meaner and one of the most effective solutions is using alternative energy. Why do we need an alternative energy resource? The answer is simple. Beyond the fact that none of the major energy sources is sustainable, however, is the fact that they are ecologically destructive. The sooner we find sustainable, emission-free replacements for them, the better of both humanity and the planet Earth shall be.

In conclusion, to prevent adverse impacts of global warming on the environment, we should reduce the quality of polluted substances and renewable energy need to be developed to replace fossil fuels for decreasing toxic gases in the air and protecting our atmosphere.

Answer 1

In this day and age, global warming has become one of the most serious problems the whole world is facing due to human activities on land and in the sea. In my opinion, solving this international problem must have specific solutions.

Global warming has been caused by the lack of each personal awareness in the improper disposal of chronic air from industrial ozone. Each cloud of smoke which has a huge qualify of carbon dioxide and many other toxic gases is released to the biosphere leads to air pollution and ruins our health. But the most dangerous influence of air pollution which is one of the main reasons result in global warming is greenhouse effect that has done a lot of damage to the ozone layer. If we want to prevent the environment from being further polluted, we have to stop wasting polluted substances to our accommodation.( chỗ này bạn nên đề ra giải pháp khắc phục tác hại của nhà kính. Eg: plants absorb carbon dioxide from the air and release oxygen back into the atmosphere, so planting a tree means you are gradually healing our house.)

The world is having difficulties to solve this problem and prevent the increase of negative influences of global warming by much meaner and one of the most effective solutions is using alternative energy  ( Bạn không nên lặp câu từ hay cấu trúc như “one of the..” hay “which” mà có thể thay biện pháp trên bằng một câu:” Using alternative energy is also a momentous way needing to be taken into account ). Why do we need an alternative energy resource? ( Trong những bài luận thì nên hạn chế đặt câu hỏi, bởi nó không giống tiếng việt “ câu hỏi tu từ “ ) The answer is simple. Beyond ( Besides ) the fact that none of the major energy sources is sustainable ( nên thay bằng permanent ), however, they are ecologically destructive. The sooner we find them sustainable ( find sth adj ),emission-free replacements for them, the better of both humanity and the planet Earth shall be.

In conclusion, to prevent adverse impacts of global warming on the environment, we should reduce the quality of polluted substances and renewable energy need to be developed to replace fossil fuels for decreasing toxic gases in the air and protecting our atmosphere.( kết thúc tốt )

Answer 2

Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What solutions are there for this problem?

Nowadays, global warming has become [W1] one of the most serious problems the whole world is facing due to[W2]  human activities on land and in[W3]  the sea. In my opinion, solving this international problem has to need specific solutions.

Global warming has been caused by the lack of each personal awareness in the improper disposal of chronic air from industrial ozone. Each cloud of smoke which has a huge qualify of carbon dioxide and many other toxic gases is discharged to the biosphere lead to air pollution and ruin our health. But the most dangerous influence of air pollution which is one of the main reasons result [W4] in global warming is greenhouse effect that has done a lot of damage to the ozone layer. If we want to prevent the environment from being further polluted, we have to stop wasting polluted substances to[W5]  our accommodation.

The world is having difficulties to solve this problem and prevent the increase of negative influences of global warming by much meaner and one of the most effective solutions is using [W6] alternative energy. Why do we need an alternative energy resource? The answer is simple. [W7] Beyond the fact that none of the major energy sources is sustainable, however, is the fact that they are ecologically destructive. The sooner we find sustainable[W8] , emission-free replacements for them, the better of both humanity and the planet Earth shall be.

In conclusion, to prevent adverse impacts of global warming on the environment, we should reduce the quality of polluted substances and renewable energy need to be developed to replace fossil fuels for decreasing toxic gases in the air and protecting our atmosphere.

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 [W1]Vocabulary error ( word form) V+ed or, became

 [W2]Vocabulary error replace caused

 [W3]Vocabulary error , replace in by under

 [W4]Need to add the, the result

 [W5]I think, it should convert to to at.

 [W6]Grammar error : is to use alternative energy

 [W7] Grammar error (punctuation)

 [W8]Grammar error: the setence should use simple future: we would find suntainable

 

Comments

phần solutions, theo mình nên chia theo 2 hướng :

1, ý thức từ người dân ( citizen )

2, biện pháp legal từ chính phủ ( government )
* đây là ý kiến của mình *