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Question

The maps illustrate the considerable changes in term of development from 1950 to 2000 in stepford.
It is clear that the city has been provided much convenience since the establish ment of facilities and recreational area, as well as the improvement of transport infrastructure. Looking at the west of north ash road, in the north, there had been much greener in 1950, however, 50 years later, trees were cleared away to make way for the installment of highway, which runs from the north to the south. Therefore, tourism stood a good chance of blooming, leading to the appearance of ski resort near a mountain range in 1971, together with some resorts and a golf course along the highway in 1972. Farm, however, was removed and remained undeveloped. Additionally, in the south are erected an airport, along with hospital and shopping mall. In contrast, the area surrounded by Green River and north ash road hardly suffered any changes.
Due to the population increase by 35000 in 2000, on the east side of the river, in the north, house was demolished and replaced by apartment and an existing one was extended to an apartment complex in the northwest and southeast corners of yount avenue, respectively. Opposite the park, a zoo was built on the derelict land. In 2020, factories are projected to be knocked down and replaced by windfarm.

Answer 1

- Câu đầu tiên : terms,developments với lại nghe ko tự nhiên lắm do changes cũng tương đương với developments nên bạn nên viết ngắn gọn hơn là: The maps illustrate the considerable developments  in stepford.during 50-year period from 1950 to 2000

mai mình sẽ sửa tiếp

các bạn nhớ like, tks

Answer 2

mình xin góp ý thêm cho các AD là nên phân ra task 1 và task 2 trên thanh công cụ, để mọi người dễ học hơn là việc để các bài 2 task lẫn lộn nhau

Comments

Bạn nhìn sang bên phải nhé, chúng mình đã chia rõ ràng mà :)
Mình sẽ note lại để phân ra rõ trên thanh công cụ ^^
tks bạn

Answer 3

Dear friend, As my opinions, I think that your essay is quite long for task I. Your essay is 227 words, which means that you have to spend at leas 30 minutes to write it in the test time. So you DONT HAVE TIME FOR TASK II. Therefore, I think that you should choose the most significant information of the map to report. For your vocabulary, you are trying to use as much words as you know in the writing, so it may confuse the reader, your examiner. And one thing that you should not use in the TASK I is your opinion. You have evaluate it by word "convenient". You also should not use adverbs such as "much". For the structure of the essay, it is not clear to follow. The readers may get problem to understand your direction, for example, "Looking at the west of north ash road, in the north", which is a little awkward. For all, I think that your attempt is worth recording. I hope that my opinion will help you in writing task I. Best regards,

Answer 4

Dear buianhthy1412,

as far as i'm concerned, your essay is good at vocabularies and grammar structures, you provided readers with useful knowledge that can be used during ielts wiriting test. However, i'm afraid that the way you showed us about directions are not clear enough. i recommend that you can use some words such as: south-east, north-east..... to make your essay more precisely.

best regards.