IELTS Task 1 (newbie praticing)

Question

Topic: Internet users as percentage of population

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A glance at the provided line graph reveals the percentage of people in 3 countries who gained Internet access between 1999-2009.

It is noticeable that the proportion of the population in each country rose up over the period shown. Generally a much larger percentage of Canadians and Americans used the network compared to that of Mexicans. Canadians also experienced the fastest growth after approximately 10 years.

At the beginning. the percentage of people in the USA having access to the internet was about 20%. The figures for Canada and Mexico was 10% and 5% respectively. In 2005, The internet usage in both the USA and Canada increased to about 70% of the population, while that in Mexico reached just over 25%.

By 2009, Canada had the largest proportion in terms of Internet usage, at approximately 100% in comparison to 80% of the USA and only 40% in Mexico.

Answer 1

A glance at the provided The line graph reveals the percentage of people in 3 countries who gained Internet access in 3 countries between 1999 and 2009.

It is noticeable that the proportion of the population in each country rose up over the period shown. Generally, a much larger percentage of Canadians and Americans used the network compared to that of Mexicans. Canadians also experienced the fastest growth after approximately 10 years in almost all the time.
At the beginning, the percentage of people in the USA having access to the internet was about 20%, whereas the figures for Canada and Mexico was were 10% and 5% respectively. In 2005, The internet usage in both the USA and Canada increased to about 70% of the population, while that in of Mexico reached just over 25%.
By 2009, Canada had the largest proportion in terms of Internet usage, at approximately 100% in comparison to with 80% of the USA and only 40% in of Mexico.

- Bài viết của bạn chưa đủ 150 từ, nên viết thêm 1 câu ở đoạn body 2.

- Bạn có thể sử dụng thêm the rate = the percentage

- Nên đa dạng cấu trúc ngữ pháp hơn.

- Dạng line graph bạn nên sử dụng các cấu trúc mô tả xu hướng

Answer 2

Mình nghĩ bạn nên thêm hình vào sẽ dễ hiểu cho người sửa hơn.

Ở đoạn Introduction, bạn nên kể tên 3 nước ra. Còn phần thân bạn nên chia ra 2 đoạn, một đoạn về USA và Canada, còn đoạn còn lại về Mexico, vì phần Overview bạn đã nêu lên điều đó. Cấu trúc ngữ pháp của bạn chưa đa dạng lắm, và bạn nên thêm vài thông tin khác vào bài nữa.

The line graph reveals the percentage of people who gained Internet access in three largest countries in two America continents which are America, Mexico and Canada between 1999-2009, a period of 10 years.

It is noticeable that the proportion of the internet users in each country rose up over the period shown. Generally, a much larger percentage of Canadians and Americans used the network compared to that of Mexicans. Canadians also experienced the fastest growth after approximately 10 years.  in 3 countries mentioned.

At the beginning, the percentage of people in the USA having access to the internet was about 20%, much higher than the figures for Canada and Mexico which were 10% and 5% respectively. In 2005, The internet users in Canada increased dramatically to roughly 70% of the population in 2005, exceeding that of America, while the figure for Mexico reached just over 25% over the same period.

At the end of the given period, in 2009, Canada had the largest proportion in terms of Internet usage, at approximately 100% in comparison to 80% of the USA and only 40% of Mexico.

Lời cuối: nếu có thời gian, bạn qua xem và có thể sửa giùm mình những bài làm cũ của mình.