IELTS TASK 1(PIE CHARTS)

Question

 

 

     The given charts demonstate the percentages of energy consumption and greenhouse gas emitted in daily activities of household in Autralia. 

     Overall, it can be seen clearly from the charts that the Autralian use a lot of energy for heating, which emit a little greenhouse gas. While the energy used for other appliances is less but cause a ot of household  greenhouse gas emissions.

     The proportion of heating energy consist of 42% which is the largest percentages in energy household using and this, then approximate only 15% in greenhouse gas emissions. However, there is a difference in other appliances . Athough the energy is used for other appliances is less than a fifth (15%) but the greenouse gas emitted by this precisely reach 28% that also more than heating gas emission. The percetages of water heating using is simillar to the amount of gas emission of them which is about 32% compare nearly to 32% in using.

 

Answer 1

Original writing	Suggested correction
The given charts demonstate the percentages of energy consumption and greenhouse gas emitted in daily activities of household in Autralia.	The given charts demonstrate the percentages of different causes in two areas which are energy consumption and greenhouse gas production in Australia households.
Overall, it can be seen clearly from the charts that the Autralian use a lot of energy for heating, which emit a little greenhouse gas. While the energy used for other appliances is less but cause a ot of household  greenhouse gas emissions.	Overall, it can be clearly seen from the charts that heating, water heating and other appliances are the main drivers of energy use and greenhouse gas release, but their relative importance differ in two areas.
The proportion of heating energy consist of 42% which is the largest percentages in energy household using and this, then approximate only 15% in greenhouse gas emissions. However, there is a difference in other appliances . Athough the energy is used for other appliances is less than a fifth (15%) but the greenouse gas emitted by this precisely reach 28% that also more than heating gas emission. The percetages of water heating using is simillar to the amount of gas emission of them which is about 32% compare nearly to 32% in using.	The three most important reasons for energy consumption are heating, water heating and other appliances, accounting for 42%, 30% and 15% respectively. However, the greatest amount of greenhouse gas comes from water heating (32%), followed by other appliances (28%) and heating (15%). Of note, refrigeration nearly produces as much greenhouse gas as heating, at 14%. While the other factors considered are lighting and cooling, the latter represents the least important one as it requires energy only in 2% and emits the harmful gas in 3% of all. (Mình viết lại đoạn này cho bạn)

 

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