Writing Task 1 - Pie Charts - Electricity production

Question

  

 

The pie charts illustrate a comparison of the amount of electricity manufacturing in the years 1980 and 2000. Overall, It is apparent that between these years, electricity production almost doubled, rising from 100 units to 170 units in Australia, and from 90 to 180 units in France.

 

In Australia, Coal was used as the main fuel for electricity production (50 units), the reminders being used by natural gas, hydropower (each producing 20 Units) and oil (which only 10 units). By 2000, Coal became the most popular fuel source for more than 75% of electricity being produced, and hydro continued to be another significant source supplying which approximately 20%.

 

Turning to France, by 1980, Coal and Natural gas were used for supplying half of the electricity produced (25 Units), the following were oil (20 Units), Hydropower and Nuclear Power which accounted for 5 and 15 Units, respectively. However, by 2000, Nuclear power - which not used at all Australia, had developed into the main source of fuel for the electricity produced at 126 Units, Whereas both of Oil and Coal together produced only 50 Units, Others source were no longer significant which only accounted for 4 Units.

 

To Conclude, It is clear that by 2000, these two nations relied on different principal fuel sources for electricity production: Australia relied on Coal and France relied on Nuclear Power.

Answer 1

The pie charts illustrate a comparison of the amount of electricity manufacturing generated between Australia and France  in the years 1980 and 2000

Với electricity thì nên dùng produce hoặc generate, chứ không dùng manufacture. Manufacture dùng cho chế tạo hoặc lắp ráp hàng hóa.
 

Câu overall không cần thiết nêu số liệu, nên để ở phần body.
 

Câu đầu đoạn 3: nên dùng followed by oil, hydro power and nuclear power, with ..., ... and ... respectively sẽ gọn hơn, không nên viết thế kia, mất thời gian.

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