Question in 11/10/2014: Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people are losing the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

It is true that mobile phones and computers play an intergral part in our life.While I agree that people are losing the ability to communicate face to face

On the one hand, there are some reasons why people have tendency to use high tech devices. Firstly, technology make people easy to keep in touch with some people who far away.For example, you can contact people from another countries with just click and meet people all walks of life  to expand social circl

 

e. Seconly, communicating through cell phones or computers allow people save a great deal of money and their time. For instant, I call to my sister through zalo or skype without wasting of money on a regular basic.

On the other hand, people are more and more dependent on high tech devices, this may lead to some detrimental communication skills. One reason is that, people only focus on cell phones and computer, they do not pay attention to build a relationship with their families and true friends. For example, my friends who study with me in my university.She always keeps their eye glued to smart phone, even when she goes out with close friends, she takes a lot of photo,check in or comment on facebook and ignore everything around her. In addition, vitual world also indicate many informations which are not true.For instant, my sister makes friend with  a guy through social network, they only chat and text online but she never communicates face to face. Because of providing personal information for him , she is stolen the  bank account. This may result in having negative impact on people who do not communicate directly

In conclusion, although I accept that cell phones and computers play an important role in life, but it have negative influence on communicating directly.

 

 

Answer 1

Your idea is ok, but you should improve your grammar and review your essay after finishing it. I found a lot of grammar mistakes in your essay. Most of them are "Subject-Verb agreement".

Some grammar mistakes are:

• While I agree that people are losing the ability to communicate face to face -> this sentence is missing the main clause (while S + V , S + V). Also, you should paraphrase the clause "people are losing the ability to communicate face to face" rather than copy exactly the sentence from the question.
• Technology make people easy to keep in touch with some people who far away.For example, you can contact people from another countries with just click and meet people all walks of life  to expand social circle. -> technology helps people to keep in touch easily with others who live far away from them.
• "You" should not be used in IELTS writing.
• For example, my friends who study with me in my university. -> This is another incomplete sentence.

Comments

So how many score can i get?

thank you so much

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Hi Vy,

I am sorry. I am not a teacher or an examiner, so I cannot give you a band score. I am a student who is studying for the IELTS test. Based on what I have learned, I can help you to point out things you should improve.