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Question

“How can we prepare for our future job ?’’       

During our university life we begin to think about our future life, our job. What we are going to do when we graduate from university. We can learn about professions in magazines, newspapers or on the internet. But wanting to research something new and then teaching yourself how to do it is a huge gulf most of us never cross. The easiest, fastest and most fun way to know something is under the guidance of an experienced instructor who can help you bring your ideas into reality. This is the reason I am interested in this event. I can hear from and interact with the senior HR Executive and professionals of EY Vietnam in the advisory, tax and audit areas. It is a big opportunity for us me. I hope I can find  what we should  improve to prepare for future path.

Moreover, nothing is as disappointing as when a candidate doesn't even know the most basic facts about a company. It is a big problem that most young graduates don't understand how business fundamentally works and is organized. Therefore, through this event  I will have experience the operation of EY - a Big Four firm and understand their recruitment process of one of the four largest professional services networks in the world.

Finally, the word of work is changing rapidly, we have a need to update our knowledge regularly, we should improve our knownedge in pursuing fields that are of true interest become well-versed in those areas. How it takes me higher in my career? How can international qualification like CPA Australia designation can help me ?

Thank you very much for giving me this oportunity, i hope my essay will be shortlisted.

Answer 1

Original writing	Suggested correction
During our university life we begin to think about our future life, our job. What we are going to do when we graduate from university. We can learn about professions in magazines, newspapers or on the internet. But wanting to research something new and then teaching yourself how to do it is a huge gulf most of us never cross. The easiest, fastest and most fun way to know something is under the guidance of an experienced instructor who can help you bring your ideas into reality. This is the reason I am interested in this event. I can hear from and interact with the senior HR Executive and professionals of EY Vietnam in the advisory, tax and audit areas. It is a big opportunity for us me. I hope I can find  what we should  improve to prepare for future path.	During our university life, we begin to think about our future life, our job or what we are going to do when after we have graduated from university. We can learn about professions in from magazines, newspapers or on the internet. But the task of wanting to researching something new and then teaching yourself ourselves how to do it is like a huge gulf most of us have never crossed. The easiest, fastest and most fun way to get to know something is working under the guidance of an experienced instructor who can help you bring your ideas into reality. This is the reason I am interested in this event. I can hear from and interact with the senior HR Executive and professionals of EY Vietnam in the advisory, tax and audit areas. It is a big opportunity for us me. I hope I can identify find what we I should  improve to prepare for my future path.
Moreover, nothing is as disappointing as when a candidate doesn't even know the most basic facts about a company. It is a big problem that most young graduates don't understand how business fundamentally works and is organized. Therefore, through this event  I will have experience the operation of EY - a Big Four firm and understand their recruitment process of one of the four largest professional services networks in the world.	Moreover, nothing is as disappointing as when a candidate doesn't even know the most basic facts about a company. It is a big problem that most young graduates don't understand how a business fundamentally works and is organized. Therefore, through this event I will have learn from the experiences of the operation of EY - a Big Four firm - and understand their the recruitment process of one of the four largest professional services networks in the world.
Finally, the word of work is changing rapidly, we have a need to update our knowledge regularly, we should improve our knownedge in pursuing fields that are of true interest become well-versed in those areas. How it takes me higher in my career? How can international qualification like CPA Australia designation can help me ?	Finally, the word world of work is changing rapidly, we have a need to update our knowledge regularly, we should improve our knowledge in pursuing the fields that are of true interest with the goal of becoming well-versed in those areas. How does it takes me higher in my career? How can international qualification like CPA Australia designation can help me ?