IELTS task 2: As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Businesses have always sought to make a profit, but it is becoming increasingly common to hear people talk about the social obligations that companies have. I completely agree with the idea that businesses should do more for society than simply make money.

On the one hand, I accept that businesses must make money in order to survive in a competitive world. It seems logical that the priority of any company should be to cover its running costs, such as employees’ wages and payments for buildings and utilities. On top of these costs, companies also need to invest in improvements and innovations if they wish to remain successful. If a company is unable to pay its bills or meet the changing needs of customers, any concerns about social responsibilities become irrelevant. In other words, a company can only make a positive contribution to society if it is in good financial health.

On the other hand, companies should not be run with the sole aim of maximising profit; they have a wider role to play in society. One social obligation that owners and managers have is to treat their employees well, rather than exploiting them. For example, they could pay a “living wage” to ensure that workers have a good quality of life. I also like the idea that businesses could use a proportion of their profits to support local charities, environmental projects or education initiatives. Finally, instead of trying to minimise their tax payments by using accounting loopholes, I believe that company bosses should be happy to contribute to society through the tax system.

In conclusion, I believe that companies should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives.

Answer 1

Đây chỉ là một số ý kiến của mình nhé:

Businesses have always sought to make a profit, but it is becoming increasingly common to hear people talk about the social obligations that companies have. I completely agree with the idea that businesses should do more for society than simply make money.

On the one hand, I accept that businesses must make money in order to survive in a competitive world. It seems logical that the priority of any company should be to cover its running costs, such as employees’ wages and payments for buildings and utilities. On top of these costs, companies also need to invest in improvements and innovations if they wish to remain successful. If a company is unable to pay its bills or meet the changing needs of customers, any concerns about social responsibilities become irrelevant. In other words, a company can only make a positive contribution to society if it is in good financial health.

On the other hand, companies should not be run with the sole aim of maximising profit; they have a wider role to play in society.( On the other hand, companies should not only solely focus on maximize profit but also cater to the needs of wider society)  One social obligation that owners and managers have is to treat their employees well, rather than exploiting them. For example, they could pay a “living wage” to ensure that workers have a good quality of life. I also like the idea that businesses could use a proportion of their profits to support local charities, environmental projects or education initiatives.( You need expand this idea ) Finally, instead of trying to minimise their tax payments by using accounting loopholes, I believe that company bosses should be happy to contribute to society through the tax system. ( Bạn phải dẫn chứng ra tại sao các doanh nghiệp cần phải tập trung vào social responsibility và lợi ích của nó mang lại là gì thì bạn mới kêt luận vậy chứ )

In conclusion, I believe that companies should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives. ( bạn thử so sánh với kết luận này : To conclude, businesses should be encouraged to take social reponsibilities, which bring the benefical results not only for themselves but also the community)

Nhan xet cua minh : ở đâu bài bài agree with the idea là businesses should do more for society than simply make money thì ở thân bài bạn phải tập trung vào phần agree nhiêu hơn chứ, " why cooperations should take social responsibility and the benefits of its " 

                                   Các cấu trúc của bạn còn quá sơ sài, chưa sử dụng các dạng câu bị động, và biến đổi câu.

Comments

bạn ơi, bài làm này mình copy của thầy Simon, đây là bài mẫu và được giám khảo IELTS chấm 9.0 luôn rồi. Mình không ngờ bài 9.0 lại có sai sót như bạn nói trên =)))

Answer 2

Businesses have always sought to make a profit, but it is becoming increasingly common to hear people talk about the social obligations that companies have. I completely agree with the idea that businesses should do more for society than simply make money.

On the one hand, I accept that businesses must make money in order to survive in a competitive world. It seems logical that the priority of any company should be to cover its running costs, such as employees’ wages and payments for buildings and utilities. On top of these costs, companies also need to invest in improvements and innovations if they wish to remain successful. If a company is unable to pay its bills or meet the changing needs of customers, any concerns about social responsibilities become irrelevant. In other words, a company can only make a positive contribution to society if it is in good financial health.

On the other hand, companies should not be run with the sole aim of maximising profit; they have a wider role to play in society.( On the other hand, companies should not only solely focus on maximize profit but also cater to the needs of wider society)  One social obligation that owners and managers have is to treat their employees well, rather than exploiting them. For example, they could pay a “living wage” to ensure that workers have a good quality of life. I also like the idea that businesses could use a proportion of their profits to support local charities, environmental projects or education initiatives.( You need expand this idea ) Finally, instead of trying to minimise their tax payments by using accounting loopholes, I believe that company bosses should be happy to contribute to society through the tax system. ( Bạn phải dẫn chứng ra tại sao các doanh nghiệp cần phải tập trung vào social responsibility và lợi ích của nó mang lại là gì thì bạn mới kêt luận vậy chứ )

In conclusion, I believe that companies should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives. ( bạn thử so sánh với kết luận này : To conclude, businesses should be encouraged to take social reponsibilities, which bring the benefical results not only for themselves but also the community)

Nhan xet cua minh : ở đâu bài bài agree with the idea là businesses should do more for society than simply make money thì ở thân bài bạn phải tập trung vào phần agree nhiêu hơn chứ, " why cooperations should take social responsibility and the benefits of its "