Television and computer games are an increasing aspect of many young people's lives. Do you think that modern forms of entertainment are making them less sociable?

Question

There is no doubt that young people are more engaged in modern forms of recreation such as television or video games, for technology has developed. This is claimed by some people to be a way of isolating youngsters from their social sphere. Personally, I strongly support this opinion on account of the great influence such activities have on young people’s interest and behaviour.

First of all, watching TV and playing computer games may gradually or quickly change one’s concentration in life. As they are not traditional ways of entertaining, these kinds of amusement can hold immediate appeal for many youngsters. Consequently, they may soon make those activities a part of their life and therefore themselves lessen their time with their social circle.

In addition, I would argue that modern forms of entertainment can negatively affect the way one behaves in life and thus keep them away from others. It seems obvious to me that many of those absorbed in television or games may not be willing to communicate with one another, since they find nothing interesting apart from those means of entertaining. Moreover, such sedentary hobbies may reduce their ability to socialize, as involving in them does not require interaction with others to achieve self-satisfaction.

Opponents of the opinion point out that watching television and playing computer games are, on the contrary, a youngsters’ way of socializing by gathering family members and playmates. However, I suppose socializing is something more than just talking about what they play or see on the screen.

In conclusion, the innovation in the way young people entertain themselves is an obvious trend of the modern society, represented by television or computer games. As far as I am concerned, I believe those modern forms of entertainment shrink youngsters’ connection with others by decreasing their socializing time and worsening their behaviour.

Answer 1

" It seems obvious to me that many of those absorbed in television or games may not be willing to communicate with one another since they find nothing interesting apart from those means of entertaining." bỏ dấu phẩy sau another.

Bạn dùng từ "one" hơi nhiều, mình nghĩ nên đổi thành "individual" sẽ ổn hơn

Comments

Cam on ban nha :D

Answer 2

 

Task reponse: 5

lexical and grammar: 6 

connection between sentences: 6

overal: 6

Comments

Thanks nhieu` a :D