mọi người góp ý cho e với ạ.e cảm ơn ạ. đề bài: In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Question

It is undoubted that parents send their children to schools in order to have

 

a good studying environment, but in fact, some schools cannot secure it

 

because of the misbehavior of students. To tackle this problem, schools as

 

well as parents can carry out several solutions.

 

There are some problems underlying students’ behavior which need to be

 

solved. To commence with, cheating is a worth-mentioning issue at schools

 

as the examination season. If students studied hard with the teachers’ urge,

 

and teachers also supervised them closely, there would not be this case

 

now. Moreover, they may have a tendency to rely on others, and likely fail

 

in the future life. Another significant problem is that some students usually

 

use violence as a key to resolve; as a result, it has a bad effect on school’s

 

honor and/or physical and spritual victims. In fact, at some public schools

 

in Vietnam, this phenomenon has happened frequently due to the lack of

 

parents and teachers’ care.

 

However, these suggestions below can be implemented to reduce this

 

situation.

 

First of all, to deal with cheating, schools should establish stricter rules and

 

punishments with the aim of forcing them to obey.In additon, school can

 

requires teachers to monitor students carefullly and advise them to study.

 

Secondly,in terms of violent behavior, in my opinion, schools had better

 

increase more morality lessons, and at home, parents can also educate their

 

children. If this situation is still unchanged, schools could punish them

 

more heavily such as suspension or even expulsion.

 

In conclusion, I believe that students’behavior can be improved if schools

 

and parents never stop looking for appropriate measures and teaching

 

these patiently.

Answer 1

- theo mình nghĩ, bài này viết hơi giống tiếng việt, kiểu như dịch từ tiếng việt sang vậy, 

- Secondly,in terms of violent behavior, in my opinion, câu này hơi dài dòng, nên bỏ đi cái in my opinion thì hay hơn.

- However, these suggestions below can be implemented to reduce this situation. câu này dùng từ reduce k hợp lắm, dùng improve đc hơn

 

 schools should establish stricter rules and punishments with the aim of forcing them to obey. câu này bị lỗi nghĩa rồi vì mình nghĩ mục đích cuối cùng phải là gì chứ k phải là tuân theo thôi. 

 

Comments

E cảm ơn nhiều ạ. E cũng biết là k nên dịch từ tiếng việt sang tiếng anh kiểu word by word thế. Hic e mới tập viết nên còn nhiều lỗi lắm a. A có biết các tips để khắc phục lỗi này k ạ? Thankiu

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chỉ có cách luyện nhiều thôi

Answer 2

góp ý tí về chỗ này it has a bad effect on school’s

 

honor and/or physical 

nên dùng bad effects vì ảnh hưởng không chỉ có một và không viết kiểu and/or trong bài viết