Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree with these views?

Question

Based on the high betterment of the marketing industry, there raised some notion that it is advertising that makes ubiquitous products reach really high sales and these top sales are not the actual consumer needs. I am fully an advocate to both of these views and my explainations are below.

In this age, the power of advertising is undeniably mass influential that helps companies sale a huge amount of their products. Because advertisements always over-exaggerate the funtion and quality of the product, people have the wrong idea about the product then symultaneously buy it. Take beauty products for instance, they are exhibited on advertisements as skin whitening, ance treatment, anti aging, scar fading and UV protection,  all-in-one products. Therefore, ladies formed a thousand miles queue to buy these magical products, hoping to make a change. Although these goods are proven to not make any significant improvement on human skin but the products' sale rates keep on rocketing.

The phenomenon that people buy prominent products, thus contribute to thier leading sales, without really needing them might sounds a bit over the top but has a considerable reason to it. It is also because of advertisements that squeeze into their heads the impulsive temptation to possess the goods. In other words, in most cases thesedays people are made to believe they need some certain products. For example, my mother used to buy a fruit peeler she saw advertised on TV, which peels fruit only by attaching it on the gadget then spinning the handle. At first she used it because of her curiosity but later she never touch it again for it is more convenient to just use a knife to peel fruit.

In conclusion, it is true that the soaring sales of prevailling consumer goods which are not surely the people's needs, clearly mirror the effectiveness of contemporary advertising.

Answer 1

Based on (based on chi dung khi ban dan chung loi ai do hoac nghien cuu nao do ) Due to the high betterment of the marketing sector industry, there raised some a notion that it is advertising that makes ubiquitous products reach really high sales and these top sales are not the actual what consumers needs. I am fully an advocate to for both of these views and my explainations are below.

In this age, the power of advertising is undeniably mass influential that helps companies sale sell a huge amount a large number of their products. Because advertisements always over-exaggerate the funtions and qualitiesy of the products, people may have the wrong idea about the products which tempt them to then symultaneously buy it them. Take beauty products for instance, they are exhibited shown on advertisements as skin whitening, ance treatment, anti aging, scar fading and UV protection, as all-in-one products. Therefore, ladies formed a thousand miles queue to buy these magical cosmetic products, hoping to make a change. Although these goods are proven to not make any significant improvement on human skin but the products' sale rates keep on rocketing.

The phenomenon that people buy prominent products, thus contributinge to thier leading sales record without really needing them might sounds a bit over the top but has a considerable reason to it( Why did you introduce the matter again, you should go straight to the your second reason ). It is also because of advertisements that squeezes into their consumers' heads and the impulsive temptation to possess the goods. In other words, in most cases thesedays people are made to believe that they  need some certain products. For example, my mother used to buy a fruit peeler she saw advertised on TV, which peels fruit only by attaching it on the gadget then spinning the handle. At first she used it because of her curiosity but later she never touch it again for it is more convenient to just use a knife to peel fruit. 

In conclusion, it is true that the soaring sales of prevailling consumer goods which are not surely the people's needs,however it  clearly mirrors the effectiveness of contemporary advertising.

ở bài này bạn nên thêm một ý biện luận nữa cho bài của bạn thêm sức thuyết phục. thay vì ở paragraph 2 bạn lại mention cái vấn đề lại khiến mất thời gian. Chưa kể ví dụ bạn ko nên đưa ví dụ của bản thân bạn, hãy lấy vd mang tính chất chung thi sẽ thuyết phục hơn