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Đề bài: "Some peoplle think men and women have different natural abilities that make them suitable for different types of work. Others, however, believe that both men and women can be equally suited to do any type of work. Discuss both these views and give your opinion."

Bài của mình

It is widely believed that males and females have different inherent traits which make them excel in different types of employment. I generally with this opinion, but remains open to the notion of men and women working equally in any type of job.

Men and women are different physically and mentally: men are generally suited to manual labour and jobs which require physical prowess, while women have a natural affinity for childcare and domestic service, among other things. It is simply outrageous for women to work in dangerous and harsh conditions, such as those foundl lin the mining industry. Therefore, a line should be drawn on which type of employment is available for males and females.

However,l the modern world is becoming increasingly automated, and with the bulk of physical labour and jobs in dangerous environments being delegated to machines,women should actively take part in more intellectual professions. A woman is as capable as any man, in research or in business, as an executive or as a salary worker. She should be limited only by her abilities, not by the laws of men.

In general , I am of the opinion that works in dangerous places should be reserved to men, but as machines take over physical labour, a woman is free to pursue any career she so desires, and to work along men with pride and dignity
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It is widely believed that males and females have different inherent traits which make them excel in different types of employment. I generally (agree/neutral/disagree???) with this opinion, but remains open to the notion of men and women working equally in any type of job. (Mình tạm hiểu ý của bạn là hai phía đều có ý đúng nhưng diễn đạt thế này hơi nước đôi, một là bạn ủng hộ hẳn, hai là trung lập hẳn, thực ra mình thấy với đề bài này đứng hẳn về một phía agree hay disagree thì dễ hơn)

On one hand (để bài luận rõ ràng thì nên dùng linking word bạn nhé, không thừa đâu), men and women are different physically and mentally: men are generally suited to for manual labour and jobs which require physical prowess, while women have a natural affinity for childcare and domestic service, among other things. It is simply outrageous for women to work in dangerous and harsh conditions, such as those found in the mining industry, constructionn sites or cruise ship engine room. Therefore, as for female workers a line should be drawn on at which type of employment is available for males and females. some certain extreme employments.

On the other hand, however, the modern world is becoming increasingly automated, and with the bulk of physical labour and jobs in dangerous environments being delegated to machines,women should actively take part in more intellectual professions (???). A woman is as capable as any man, in research or in business, as an executive or as a salary worker. She should be limited only by her abilities, not by the laws of men her gender(thân bài thế này hơi ngắn, mỗi đoạn trong phần thân bài bạn cần viết ít nhất 5 câu mới bảo đảm độ dài cho bài viết luận)

In general , I am of the opinion that works jobs in dangerous places should be reserved to men, but as machines is taking over physical labour, a woman is free to pursue any career she so desires, and to work along men with pride and dignity
 
(bài luận của bạn ngữ pháp và từ vựng rất ổn nhưng đáng tiếc là thiếu logic, theo mình bạn nên khai thác những ví dụ như đã có phụ nữ làm khoa học, tổng thống hoặc công nhân, và ngược lại cũng đã có đàn ông làm người giữ trẻ, người giúp việc hoặc chăm sóc sắc đẹp nếu bạn ủng hộ ý kiến giới tính ko quyết định năng lực làm việc, còn ý phản biện của ý kiến này bạn đã phân tích đúng hướng rồi, tóm lại bạn cần sắp xếp ý cẩn thận trước khi viết là được)

 

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