Bài How to deal with natural disaster

Question

Nowadays, there are more natural disasters than in the past such as tsunami, earthquake,flood,mudslide,… So the victims are in need of any assistance. In other words, we gotta them cross something.

Firstly, you should give out food, water, medications and especially money. It is useful to ensure that the rescue worker have the relief fund to provide disasters victims with supply in a timely fashion.

Secondly, many buildings and houses were completely detroyed when natural disasters struck the area. Maybe the people were trapped in homes. We should choose the man who is capable of freeing victims. Then, take them to safe place and contact a local hospital.

Thirdly, you know??? There is a dreadful thing that after the disasters, the debris is scattered throughout the streets, alleys,… It is too dangerous for people to keep under this. So keep out the warning place where is buried by the govement. We can divide into many small groups to clear up the debis quickly.

Only by helping together all by means, can we deal with natural disaster! 

Answer 1

Nowadays, there are more Today the occurrence of natural disasters than in the past such as tsunami, earthquake, flood, mudslide, etc (academic writing bạn nên dùng and so on hoặc etc. thay cho dấu … nhé!) has steadily increased over past years and affect thousands of people. So the victims are in need of any basic assistance to recover after a major event. In other words, we gotta them cross something. (trong văn viết tránh dùng gotta, wanna…)

Firstly, you should give out food, water, medications and especially money emergency aid and relief should be distributed to residents affected by the disaster, especially financial support. It is useful to ensure that the rescue workers have the relief adequate fund to provide help disasters victims with supply in a timely fashion immediately.

Secondly, many buildings and houses were could be completely destroyed when natural disasters struck strike the areas, and maybe the people residents were will be trapped in at homes. We should Thus it is necessary to choose the man rescuers who is are capable of freeing victims. Then, and take them to safe places and contact with a local hospitals. (Đoạn này mình nghĩ đang nêu cách chung để đối phó với thiên tai chứ không tường thuật lại một sự kiện cụ thể nên có lẽ dùng present và future tense hợp lý hơn)

Thirdly, you know??? Last but not least, there is a one of the most dreadful things that after the disasters is the debris of infrastructures is scattered throughout the streets or alleys. It is too dangerous for people to keep under this. So keep out the warning place where is buried by the government. We can divide into many small groups to clear up the debris quickly. To prevent people from the scattered remains throughout the streets or alleys, government should mobilize volunteer groups into clearing up quickly.

Only by helping together all by means, can we deal with natural disaster! (??? Đoạn này mình không hiểu rõ ý bạn lắm, nhưng một đoạn văn phải có ít nhất 3 câu, bạn chỉ kết luận một câu thế này có thể gây hẫng cho người đọc.)

- Trong bài này bạn chỉ đưa ra những cách đối phó sau thiên tai, mình nghĩ để “deal to natural disasters” thì cần có cả “prepare beforehand” và “aid recovery”. Phần aid recovery bạn đã nêu ra rồi, riêng phần chuẩn bị thì có thể ví dụ như protect environment to reduce disasters or educate people about effects of disasters and how to deal with them, ect.

Comments

e ms lớp 8 mà bạn thay vô toàn những từ mình k bk

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Chào em,

Vì lúc đầu chị nghĩ đây là bài writing cho kỳ thi ielts nên chị sửa theo academic style. Chị xin lỗi nhé :) Nhưng trong writing nói chung, tránh dùng các từ viết tắt kiểu gotta wanna em nhé!