Đề thi IELTS Writing task 2 - 05/12/2015 - There is a general increase in anti-social behaviors and lack of respect for others ...
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TOPIC task 2 tuần này ngày 05/12/2015 :

There is a general increase in anti-social behaviors and lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?

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In recent years, it has become apparent that there is an increase in issues of anti-social behavior and disrespect, which has been a real concern of society. This essay will discuss principle reasons for this social phenomenon, as well as outline potential solutions.

First of all, there are several reasons associated with the degradation of moral values in society, the most significant of which is the misapprehension of strong personality. Recently, people have been encouraged to express their own opinions, their different ideas as well as their real characters. However, some people misunderstand that social misconduct and disrespectful behaviors are the expressions of strong personality. In addition, the media are also widely recognized as a primary cause. Celebrities who frequently use foul language as well as express their anger and hatred in their songs or their speech are promoted as a role model of strong personality. For example, many audience and music critics complimented the song of Eminem “The Real Slim Shady”, which contains bad language and the outrage toward Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Furthermore, lack of moral education for children has compounded the problem. In modern life, teachers and parents have over-concentrated on how to make more money instead of ethical lessons, which results in moral deterioration in society.

In order to resolve this social phenomenon, there are some feasible solutions to be adopted. Firstly, the most practical one would be to raise people’s awareness about the difference between anti-social behaviors and strong personality. Moreover, governments should introduce restrictions and supervision on the mass media in order to ensure each celebrity behaves properly. Anti-norm behavior or swears should be taken into account and punished. Another solution might be recommending that education about morals for children should be attached special importance, not only in their schools but also in their family.

In conclusion, the aforementioned facts illustrate why the issue of anti-social behavior and lack of respect for others is not uncommon. However, I am convinced that if these measures suggested above are properly carried out, the situation will improve.
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I am quite impressed by the way you state the reason. You must know more about social norms and usual misconduct of social behaviors.

Task achivement: 7-8

Coherence and cohesion: 7-8

Resource: 7-8, attempts to use less common lexical terms.

Grammar: good control of grammars, use different structure to allow flexibility

Good job ;)
Thanks for your assessment.
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Disrespectful and anti-social behaviors have been emerging as a major topic on society. There are objective and subjective reasons cause this alarming issue, changes in several fields have to be taken into consideration so as to mitigate it.

People, particularly the young, tend to have action against others whose opinions are different or opposite to them. These anti-social behavior and lack of respect may appear on the Internet as the outbreak of social network, more and more people are unable to effortlessly perform their lifestyles or views. With this online tool, users can criticise others or upload their private videos beyond authority’s management. Besides, there a number of children is not well-educated in both in school and family for various reasons. These children, therefore, as growing up, do not have enough knowledge and skills to treat older people respectfully.

To tackle these harmful actions, a lot of measures and research on young people’s behaviors need to be proposed and conducted. Firstly, governments and social-network managers should be unanimous in operation policy of these virtual society. This means restrict and control the use of words to mention others, any unsuitable action would be banned if there is an amount of reports from users. Secondly, educationists and psychologist carry out research and study that are applied to lesson in schools. Thanks to this plan, children will be aware of their action and words to behave properly.

To conclude, anti-social behaviors and lack of respect for others are reaching a high level of rate. Solutions, namely strict policy of user management and psychological study, will solve this problem.

 
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First paragraph:

There are objective and subjective reasons cause (causing) this alarming issue

These anti-social behavior and lack of respect may appear on the Internet as the outbreak of social network, more and more people are unable to effortlessly perform their lifestyles or views.  --> I dont quite get the meaning of "more and more people are unable to effortlessly perform their lifestyles or views", what is the function of the phrase here?

Besides, there a number of children is(are not) not well-educated in both in school and family for various reasons

--> it seems that you have a lot to talk about in the first paragraph,

- young people react negatively with those are opposite to their opinion

-young people have disrespectful attitute towards older people.

However, the second idea is not fully developed, I think you should try to write more to balance the paragraph

Second paragraph,

Firstly, governments and social-network managers should be unanimous in operation policy (enact some policies to operate) of these virtual society

Secondly, educationists and psychologist carry out research and study that are applied to lesson in schools. Thanks to this plan, children will be aware of their action and words to behave properly.

--> Please elaborate more on this suggestion, are you blaming the school lessons or are you trying to say that research conducted by social scientists will bring some useful lessons to school?

 

In general,

You have achieved the task requirement, just pay attentions to elaborating more on details.

Best,

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Nowadays, there is an increasingly widespread concern of people’s misbehaviors and inappropriate respects for each other in this fast-paced societies. Whether this phenomenon has certain impact on the whole society or not. In my view, it is causing heated debate amongst people and needs to be tackled as soon as possible since it brings some negative effects on our society, to some extent.

First, it is obvious that lack of education (both from school and parents) is probably the root cause of this issue as it plays a critical role in establishing one’s characteristics, personalities as well as moral standards. For example, if a child was not given an appropriate education since his early development, then he would certainly not have the faintest idea what behaviors may be acceptable or not under any circumstances. As a result, that child would be growing up in none-common-behaviors environment and definitely not show any respects for the others when it comes to daily communication.

More importantly, today movies, TV shows or stimulated games are also among the great factors contributing to this phenomenon. For instance, people spending too much time on playing or watching violent and cruel computer games and films may have the chance of developing some kinds of illusions as they have an adverse influence on them. Consequently, they will similarly behave like those characters appearing in some violent films and games. So, they are apparently a part of anti-social behaviors and lack of respects for others in reality.

To sum up, solving this problem straight away is necessarily taken into consideration by both governments and individuals. They should shoulder their responsibility to raise the public’s awareness of how important it is to receive an appropriate education and how huge of an impact malicious video games and movies have on their outdoor life. Only by doing so can we encourage people to behave well,  show respects for each other and make this world a better place to live in.

(328 words)

http://scholarshipplanet.info/check/4478/ielts-writing-2015-there-general-increase-anti-social-behaviors-lack-respect-others
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Nowadays, there is an increasingly widespread concern of people’s misbehaviors and inappropriate respects for each other in this fast-paced society(society). Whether this phenomenon has certain impact on the whole society or not (this is an unfinished sentence, you should attach another phrase) In my view, it is causing heated debate amongst people and needs to be tackled (needed tackling) as soon as possible since it brings some negative effects on our society, to some extent.

First, it is obvious that lack of education (both from school and parents) is probably the root cause of this issue as it (what does it imply here? Because there are two things you mentioned – the school and the cause, does “it” imply the school or the cause? Be careful, this might cause confusion for readers) plays a critical role in establishing one’s characteristics, personalities as well as moral standards (when we talk about moral standard, it is used for the society as a whole – not individual).
More importantly, today movies, TV shows or stimulated (by stimulate – do you mean the excitation and incitement games? Do you mean the ‘simulated’ games that represent real battle?) games are also among the great factors contributing to this phenomenon.

For instance, people spending too much time on playing or watching violent and cruel computer games and films may have the chance of developing some kinds of illusions as they have an adverse influence on them (again, what are “they” implying here? People or games? You use they and them in the same sentence).

 


 

 

In general,

You have good ideas and extensions, just pay attention to the word choice and phrase being used in the paragraphs.

Bests,

Mod
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Along with the rapid development of technology, our community has constantly raised multiple serious issues, typically the acceleration in anti-social behaviors and lack of respect to others. Personally, I believe that there are several compelling reasons to interpreter as well as suggest profound solutions to address those matters.

On the one hand, disobedience and disrespectfulness for others result from multiple causes. Firstly, at the present, most teenagers who are extremely susceptible by extrinsic elements will be tremendously affected by violent activities from brutal games in technological appliances. Additionally, the carelessness of parents and educationalists also plays dominant ground caused children’s recalcitrance in treatment to other people. Those students were not accurately oriented by their care-takers they would derogate others’ dignity owing to misleading perception. Continuously, government’s education policy has not effectively operated in training learners’ morality which is seriously debilitated.

Some measurements can be taken into account to mitigate its detrimental influences. First and foremost, parents should occupy indispensible position to guide their children how to behave with other citizens. In addition to this, they need to employ sufficient punishments to reach educated goals together with prevent the painful damages of kids’ self-esteem. There is another significant noteworthy solution supporting this viewpoint is that authorities should enact legislations to ban barbaric games from being played by youthful customers. Not only that but also institutes should collaborate with learners’ families to generate a congruent environment to shape pupils’ characteristics.

In conclusion, anti-social performances and lack of courtesy for others stem from many prominent reasons, vicious activities from automatic devices and the conspicuous absence of parents and relevant agencies in educating students. As a result, there are several ideal solutions, important roles both caretakers and schools, should be implemented to tackle this phenomenon.

 

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Mong mng góp ý cho em. e cám ơn ạ

Disrespectful and hateful anti-social behaviors are reported to dramatically rose. Serveral reasons resulting in this negative trend and some measures tackling the problem will be discussed hereafter.

Generally, there are two possible reasons leading to the misbehavior of citizens toward others. The most worth mentioned explanation is workers' hectic schedules and self-concentrated lifetstyle. Since they are spend too much time and effort on their own businesses, they may not show respect to others' situations. This leads to the undesireable ignorance between people in a community. For example, a homeless man is unlikely to receive any food or clothes because other citizens just do not care. In addition, the Internet, which is said to encourages individuals to express their own feelings, is actually used to criticize the society by some users. As people are able to share their hatefull thoughts and disrespecful languages freely on social networking sites, such as Facebook, they may hurt another's feelings. A fine example here is that a picture presenting hatefulness towards Asian's appearance had been uploaded by Miley Cyrus , which made her Asian fans angry. To sum up, I belive that busy lifestyle and the misuse of Internet are two major explanations leading the widespread of unwanted behaviors.

In terms of measures, two possible solutions will be suggested and explained herein. First and foremost, hectic lifestyle ought to be replaced. Spending time vistiting neighbors and relatives as well as keep in touch with old friends may be good examples. These activities not only encourages people to have a thorough understanding about others but also reduces the negative ignorance between individuals. Another acceptable method is that the Internet policy about banning disrespectful contents should be applied by the governments. For instance, a person who uploaded a video which bad language is used to criticize against another should be forced to pay fine for the victim.

All in all, I would argue that hatefullness and misbehaviors are resulted from busy working lifestyle and the Internet unapproval contents. Also, two solutions, which are removing the hectic schedule and applying social networking policy, are suggested.

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