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Violence is a major problem in schools nowadays. It has increased dramatically over the past few years. As we can see on the internet, there are thousands of school-violent video posted every day. It is occured at many different ages and become more and more frightful. The main reasons that cause this problem are effects of media, school’s problems and parent’s upbringing. However, there are various way to reduce this problem.

Firstly, many experts, parents and critics have blamed violent media for causing school violence. It is a part of youths culture. However, social media nowadays is rife with violences and evils. Television programs and Hollywood movies with shooting and killing scenes are appeared so many times that makes children think it as a very normal thing. These violent scenes and sequences are performed so attractive and they are rewarded instead of punished. This explains why children who view those are tend to imitate them. Music is also a factor of school violence. Songs with suggestive and sensitive lyrics about gangster and drugs have bad effects to our young generation. Moreover, violent video games contribute to school violence in much of the same way movies do. Children may have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy. They begin to obsess over killing or injuring other.

Next, schools play an important role in the cause of school violence. A school is a place where children are taught the right things in life, but the life for middle and high school students has never been easy. Young people have always had to deal with study preassures, extracurricular demands and conflicts with other students. They risk related to such things as early delinquent behaviors, academic failures, lack of commitment to school, and gang involvement. Moreover, being bullied and teased by others can offten lead to violent revenge or retribution. This makes students feel insulted, isolated and easy to acts without thinking. As we can see on the newspaper or social media, this factor showed up frequently in school violence nowadays.

It is widely argued maintained that learning violent behaviors can come from usual or abnormal home life. History of family crime and violence, lack of expectations and monitorings by parents and parental involvement in drugs, child abuse can cause violent condition in children. Because parents are the ones who raised the child and filled them with their beliefs of what’s right and wrong, the child will follow them blindly. How can a child becomes a good person if he or she lives in such a bad condition? In addition, broken family relationships can also be a major factor. Those parents do not spend time with their children enough due to busy work and each member’s life. Therefore, they cannot fulfil upbringing their children in the right way. This will cause children to form the mindset that they can do anything without punished or reprimanded. Also, if children see parents acting disrespectful towards others, they will grow up with the mentality that they can treat others like that too.

Since violence in school is one of the hottest issues nowadays, no one can ensure that they can stop it. However, prevention is the key to solve this problem. The first and most important recommendation is to raise extensive knowledge about disadvantaged and negative influences of school violence. Children must be aware of people around them and be able to spot something that isn’t quite right before it escalates. About the effects of media, we can reduce violence by letting the competent authorities to tighten the content, and reshaping unsuitable social media. Also, parents must have responsibility in controlling their children on watching unsuitable movies or playing violent video games. On school aspect, school should be a safe enviroment for students to get knowledge and perfect personality. The teachers and educators should not only teach students but also support and guide them to do the right things. And, schools should organize may outdoor activities so that students can communicate and make friend to others. Last but not least, on family aspect, patents can start by being good role models, refraining from violence themselves and solving their problems peacefully. Parents should also be very involved in their children’s life, talk to them, ask them about their thoughts and fears, in orther to make clear that they are not suffered from any kind of bulying. One cannot solve the problem completely, yet, if everyone extends a hand to help reducing school violence, everything will be better.

School should be a safe enviroment for learning and developing, but unfortunately it is not as safe as it used to be. The cause of violence in school are classified into three main categories, including media, school and family risk factors. However, violence can be prevenable. As long as people still aware and have responsibility to reduce violence, it is the matter of time that this problem will be solve.
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-Quá dài thì phải. Đây có phải đề ielts k nhỉ?

-Câu thứ 2 đoạn đầu tiên: Violence increased nghe k đúng lắm, dùng occured more and more often thì đúng hơn.

-Đặc biệt đoạn thứ 3 lặp quá nhiều từ "violent", "violence"

-Đoạn nối đoạn thứ 4, từ "next" nghe hơi trơ

-Study pressure có thể thay bằng pressure in studying?

-Đoạn này không rõ:"It is widely agued maintained that..."

-Về tổng thể:

+Nên cân bằng cause và solution, quá nhiều cause

+ Lý lẽ khá thuyết phục

+ Nhiều từ vựng hay
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đúng nhưng đoạn t3 lặp lại nhiều để nhấn mạnh hay hơn mà

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