Bài IELTS Task 1

Question

The line graph illustrates the aged 65 and over of population in Japan, Sweden and USA from 1940 to 2040 , a period of 100 years. It is clear that overall was increased steadily.

A consistent increased approximately 10 percent in 1049 to 15 percent in 1980. The percentage of USA's agef 65 and over then stablized at 14 percent from 1980 to 2020. Howerver, it will be rocketed to 23 percent by the end of period.

The percentage of population aged 65 and voer in Sweden has soared gradually to the high level 7 percent in 1940 to 25 percent in 2040.

In Japan, the population's percentage of aged 65 and over was no much changed from 1940 to 1980 under 5 percent. It then will be to 10 percent in 2030 and sharply leap at 27 percent in 2040

Answer 1

Theo mình, thì có những chỗ mình sẽ sửa lại như sau:
 - The line graph illustrates the aged 65 and over of population in Japan, Sweden and USA from 1940 to 2040 => from 1940 to now with a forecast in 2040. ( Because it give a prediction, so you should depict it also use a future tense when you describe the figure in future )

-  It is clear that overall was increased steadily.=> Overall, the figures of the elderly population in 3 countries increase sharply ( or you can write : Overall, 3 countries experience the aged population explosion. ) 
- A consistent increased approximately 10 percent in 1049 to 15 percent in 1980 ( I don't understand why you used "consistent" in this sentence, consistent is adj, so, anyway I'll correct it ) => Initially, USA stood out as the most elderly population when accounting for roughly 10%, followed by Sweden with 7%. Japan lagged far behind with just 5%. ( Because you should describe the fist stage of the line graph) 

-A consistent increased approximately 10 percent in 1049 to 15 percent in 1980. The percentage of USA's agef 65 and over then stablized at 14 percent from 1980 to 2020 => The percentage of USA age 65 and over reached a peak with 15% in 1980 before remaining this figure to 2020.

-it will be rocketed to 23 percent by the end of period.=> it'll rocket to ...