Đề thi IELTS - 26/09/2015 - Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, people believe that the best way ...

Question

TOPIC task 2 của tuần này ngày 26/09/2015 :

Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they can get a job when leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

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Hạn chót nộp bài sẽ là 12h trưa sáng thứ 7 tuần này nhé :)

Have fun !

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Bài mẫu Band 8.0 cho đề Task 2 tuần này: 27/09/2015 đến từ IPP IELTS

Studies show that criminals get low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce the crime is educating people in prison so they can get a job after leaving prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Education for offenders during imprisonment as a method to reduce the rate of crime has evolved as major topic of concern in today’s society. While I agree that such a solution is effective to reduce crime, I am convinced that it is far from being the best method and there are many better ways of reducing crime.

I accept that education for prisoners may contribute to the reduction of the crime rate. The primary reason is that such a form of education could provide offenders with the working skills that are essential when they return to the community. With fortified job prospects, prisoners may therefore earn a living after leaving the prison and are less likely to commit a crime again. Another significant reason is that education could show the offenders that they are still appreciated by society. By this way, they may feel an enhanced sense of humanity and community, and become better citizens after their prison years. These people may then inspire many others in the public to live without crime.

However, I am firmly of the opinion that education for offenders is not the best solution to reduce crime. This form of education is offered only to those who have committed a crime, and therefore has far less preventive value, compared to other stronger solutions. For example, severe punishments such as longer imprisonment for criminals could deter criminal acts by many people in the public who have the intention to carry out a crime. There are also other educational methods that may have a stronger and more long-lasting impact on the reduction of crime. An excellent example of this is crime education at school, which helps equip students with the necessary knowledge about crime and crime prevention. This measure is undeniably a more sustainable crime-fighting solution than education for criminals.

To conclude, I firmly believe that although educating prisoners is an effective way to reduce crime, it is not the best solution, as there are more preventive and sustainable measures such as crime education at school and stricter punishments for criminals.

 

 

Answer 1

Many contentious debates recently over the education in prison have been triggered in many countries. Some people contend that this will help prisoners to obtain a job and transform them to be useful members of society after being released. From my perspective, I partly advocate the aforementioned viewpoint on the following reasons.

First and foremost, educating the offenders offers a barrage of positive effects on society. As a matter of fact, most of them are devoid of proper knowledge and skills to survive in the world of work,which is the reason why they decide to embark on the criminal road. Thus, through training and education, they will get more life options once armed with neccessary skills after release and can possibly turn over a new leaf. Furthermore, whether education in prison would be successful or not, it can somehow raise self-awareness among the prisoners about the importance of knowledge as well as spur them to have more postitive attitudea towards life. Finally, this could also hamper the further crimes commited by ex-convicts, which will benefit the society as a whole.

Howerver, it goes without saying that there are multiple difficuties in an attempt to provide eduction in prison. These Undeniably, when prisioners are taught in the same classes, these are golden oppornities for them to gather together, and deliniate escape plan. Moreover, the goverment's budget spent on employing teachers to give lessons could be wasted exorbiantly since the promised outcomes have yet to be guaranteed, while these expentidute may be diverted to more important areas such as healthcare or traffic.

In conlusion, despite some hardships in the beginning, i believe that goverment should accomodate criminals with education as an absolution to give them the second chance to lead a new life.

Comments

có mấy chỗ mình ghi vội quá nên sai chính tả với thừa (như chỗ these Undeniably)^^

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In the public mind, a prison is a place to keep those who have done wicked things in captivity in order that they will not contaminate law-abiding citizens. However, these years imprisonment do not stop them reoffended after released due to the factor that money is the main inducement of many recommitted crime. Some people argue that work release should be considered as the method to rehabilitation promising more satisfying outcomes. Personally, I partly agree with this viewpoint based on the fact that either vocational education or moral education is essential and effective to reduce crime.

 

Moral education which is directly influence rehabilitating an offender’s mind is of a critically important method. Education first change delinquents’’ attitudes toward society and families, a prerequisite to their reintegration into the community. It meanwhile allows them to keep in contact with the society, an opportunity that normally deprived of. This may lead to the loss of self-confident and the ability to function properly and the risk of reoffender is higher. The second benefit of education is preventing offenders’ peer group effect.  Because of receiving a proper learning environment, criminals have a lower chance of reinforcing each other’s antisocial and criminal behaviors. Education, therefore, reshapes the way these people think and play a significant role to help offenders recognized the right from wrong.

 

Similar to moral education, work is another intervention in correction whether it takes a form of work release or vocational training. The most of offenders do not have a mean of earning due to the fact they are at a very low level of education attainment. Shopliftings, robbery or burglaries have become the final choices left unless they can be employed. Job training enables offenders to acquire earning capacity and improve job skills. By this, they can become a productive member of society and have a chance to behave normally toward their families and communities. Greater post-release employment success will in general lead to a lower rate of recidivism.

 

In conclusion, education in any form of job training or moral education is likely to have a powerful impact to reduce the recommit crime since they deeply change the thoughts, behaviors as well as provide the mean of living to offenders

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Mình xin phép có vài ý kiến về bài viết của bạn, có gì trao đổi cùng tiến bộ.

Thứ nhất, phần Introduction: Mình thấy bạn viết quá dài dòng dành cho một câu, vì đây là trên the Internet có vẻ chỉ một or hai hàng nhưng in fact khi bạn viết ra paper thì một câu của bạn sẽ rất dài. Ngoài ra, ý của mỗi câu rất nhọc nhằn, mình đọc có vẻ như bạn cố gắng viết cho nó dài ra, nhiều khi mình đọc thấy xong ý câu rồi, ý rất hai lúc đầu, nhưng lúc sau bạn lại thêm một khúc nữa khiến vague cái nghĩa, chẳng hạn  these years imprisonment do not stop them reoffended after released due to the factor that money is the main inducement of many recommitted crime. Và theo mình thấy là có những điểm ngữ pháp chưa dùng đúng, tại sao stop + Ved, rồi work release là gì, hay "to rehabilitation", rất nhiều vị trí bạn dùng một các randomly.

Thứ hai, Moral education which is directly influence rehabilitating an offender’s mind is of a critically important method. Education first change delinquents’’ attitudes (chỉ cần deliquents' attitude thôi) toward society and families, a prerequisite to their reintegration into the community( a prerequisite condition to help them reintergrate into their communities). It meanwhile allows them to keep in contact with the society, an opportunity that normally deprived of (bạn nên viết more clearly cái ý này vì trong câu này bạn viết như thế không ai hiểu cả). This may lead to the loss of self-confident and the ability to function properly and the risk of reoffender is higher. The second benefit of education is preventing offenders’ peer group effect (The second positive impact of education is to prevent infectious influence on offenders' counterparts).  Because of receiving a proper learning environment, criminals have a lower chance of reinforcing each other’s antisocial and criminal behaviors. Education, therefore, reshapes the way these people think and play (plays vì chủ ngữ vẫn là education)  a significant role to help offenders recognized the right from wrong.

 

 

 

Sorry, chắc nhận xét bấy nhiêu thôi, có gì cùng trao đổi nha, trân trọng

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Cảm ơn bạn Nguyễn Kiệm về nhận xét chi tiết bài viết của mình nhiều nhé!

Mình sẽ cố gắng khắc phục lỗi viết dài, lủng củng và lỗi ngữ pháp. Mình sẽ sửa lại bài viết. Mong tiếp tục nhận được ý kiến đóng góp của bạn.

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bài của bạn bị sai lỗi ngữ pháp nhiều, và cách dùng từ. ideas của  bạn viết chưa chặt chẽ cho lắm.
IELTS viết là cách lập luận chứ không phải show từ vựng. @.@

Answer 2

Some people argue that as a large number of criminals derive from poorly educated class, the most effective way to cut crime is to provide prisoners with good education so they can get a job when they are released from jail. However, I disagree with this idea and I believe that there are other equally useful ways to tackle crime problem.

Although educating prisoners may help the society to reduce the amount of crime, there are still some drawbacks in this solution. On the one hand, offering education to people who are sent to jail provides them with essential skills which they would need to find a good job and start a new life. As a result, the possibility of ex-prisoners reoffending is reduced and the crime rate is also decreased accordingly. On the other hand, few businesses are brave enough to employ people with criminal records because they are afraid that their reputation may be badly affected. Ex-prisoners who are unemployed need to find a way to earn their living and are likely to get involved in offences again.

I think people can use many other efficient methods to achieve the goal of reducing crime. First, governments should introduce a new law which includes harsher punishments for criminals. This may act as a deterrent to those who are having an intention of committing an offence. Second, education should be provided to people at an earlier stage rather than when they are already in jail. Finally, parents should pay more attention to their children because teenagers nowadays may easily become young criminals without their parents’ observation.

In conclusion, reducing crime rate can be accomplished by educating convicts but I believe this is not the best method and other methods should also be used simultaneously.

Answer 3

Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they can get a job when leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

 

 

Education for offenders during imprisonment and helps them having job prospects afterwards is considered to be a practical method to reduce a spate of criminal incidents. Personally, although this scheme has some beneficial effects, other disciplinary measures can impose to tackle the outbreaks of crime.

 

Apparently, education for prisoners may contribute to a decrease of violent recommitments considerably by changing their mindsets, enhancing sense of humanity and community. In fact, offenders can simply equate illegal acts with the huge amount in damages and physical punishment, thereby adjusting their behaviors against provoking criminal incidents. Besides, education can arouse in lawbreakers heartfelt sympathy from severely suffer and pain of victims but also a hope of brighter future with job opportunities through training vocal skills, leading to refrain from violence.

 

On the other hand, other measures such as the mandatory criminal subjects in education and tougher penalties in law can deter the number alleged plots, resulting in the decline of violent outbursts. Obviously, children who get involved in criminology can assimilate the zero-tolerance policies and be able to defuse conflicts before they erupt. Moreover, government should enact and enforce regulations and laws, which pronounce more harsh sentences such as longer or perpetual imprisonment and death penalties. By doing this, hardly any pre-attacker have not to think twice about committing a crime.

 

In conclusion, education for wrongdoers in prison inevitably contribute to the fall of criminal recommitment, notwithstanding, it is not a realistic options. Government and school authorities should intensify multifaceted efforts lest a number of crimes breakout.

 

Moi nguoi giup em chua bai nay voi. Em moi tap viet IELTS nen chua hieu ro lam cac phan cham diem.

Answer 4

Currently, criminal issue has been becoming dilemma of majority of countries in the world. Some experts through their statistics on criminology demonstrate that the most effective method to decrease a number of lawbreakers is to educate offenders in prison. Thereby, wrongdoers could earn money legally after leaving detainment. Visually, this solution obtains conductive influences for detainees as well as their society. However, I believe that there are multiple pathways to reduce crime rather than the abovementioned one.

Obviously, education generates positive impacts for delinquents once they are freed from jail. Educational programs in prison not only provide offenders with essential labored abilities but also rehabilitate prisoners how to perform an active lifestyle together with become useful citizens into community. In addition, vital lessons taught in confinement equipped indispensable knowledge in association with skills so that offenders could deal with accurately different circumstances in life. Nonetheless, that is just the tip of iceberg.

On the other hand, education for detainees is surely not the best method to deteriorate a large number of criminals. Because the imagines of violating legislations penetrated permanently in offenders’ mindset, no sooner did such prisoners were released from detainment than they continued conducting illegal activities such as shoplifting, robbery, etc. As a result, educational solution indicates less preventive worth. Thus, legislative agencies should enact some kinds of unmerciful punishments with serious encroachments. Besides, competent authorities need to regulate compulsory educational policy for all residents in primary and secondary levels to upgrade the awareness of teenagers so that government could refrain from criminal incidents.

In conclusion, I contend that although education is partly an effectual resolution to reintegrate offenders, there are more sustainable and suitable processes such as more severe punishments and educating young people when they are being in schools. 

 

Mong mọi người cho ý kiến để giúp mình tiến bộ, trân trọng.

Answer 5

It is reported that the majority of criminals is devoid of essential knowledge and skills in the modern world. Therefore, some people argue that education during imprisonment can reduce the crime rate by preparing new lives after prison. From my point of view, this suggestion is not the most efficient solution because of some significant drawbacks.

First and foremost, I do not deny that educating wrongdoer can contribute to the reduction of crime rate. Amongst several reasons associated with the importance of education during imprisonment, the most significant of that is that providing necessary knowledge and skills help prisoners get more job opportunities when they return to real lives. A study by London University reported that the majority of offenders are unemployed. Accordingly, prisoners are able to earn their living, so they are unlikely to relapse into crimes after being released. In addition, education can change bad attitude and behaviors of offenders. Not only make prisoners easier to reintegrate into communities, but these improvements could be good examples of life without crime for society.

However, every coin has two sides. The primary disadvantage of this suggestion is the limit of classes which can be offered. Not only each prisoner possesses various aptitudes and passions, but their academic standards are different. The more classes are open, the more national budget would be used while the outcomes are not guaranteed. Furthermore, it is my belief that there are other methods which are more effective and long-term. For example, teaching children about crime in order to raise their awareness about the causes, the consequences and prevention could reduce the crime rate more effectively.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that although education for prisoners has a few significant benefits, this solution is not the best method. I am convinced that there are other effective methods which could contribute to the reduction of crime beside education for criminals.

Answer 6

Recenly , an increasing number of people argue that whether give offenders education in prison to alleviate the rate of crime and also take part in an occupation in the future.In my view, I totally agree with this idea.

Obviously, educating crimminals is the most prominent way to help them to feel guility.This means that with many essential form of education are provided , offenders will not only have praticail job-related skills to work in career professional after being released, but also will take precious times to think over themselves. By doing this, literally, society had given them a second chance to restart their lives.For instance , American Rap Superstar named 50 Cent , turning his life around  from a drug-related man to a worldwide Rap singer in 2000.

Another reason supporting this view is that educate residents who were arrested means that they are still looked up to. Indeed, when somebody convict a crime , they often feel anbundant and are vulnerable to the indifference of the publics.To be more specific , well-educated offenders often make good contributions to raise the habitant's awareness of criminal issues.Moreover, ex-offenders usually have a great impact on aldolescences 's psychology by telling them actual stories about hazardous environment in prison in order to draw their attention to not breaking the laws.

To sum , I'm on the view of we should educate offenders in jail. Meanwhile, it needs the solidarity of individuals and local authoirities to make an effort of reduce the cirminal rate in our community.

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Written by Hoàng Tuấn