Task 2 Discuss both views and give your opinion

Question

Task 2

Some people think that famous people can help international aid organization to draw attention to important problems. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

These days, more and more illustrious stars work volunteer for non-government oganigation. It is believed that is a good way to attact  many people about serious issues. While, others thought they can give a hand to cut down these problems.

The option to do charity-work is attractive for several reasons. Most celebrated people want to  catch a wide range of attention. They use a variety of media platform to mutiply what they do. As a result, their fans will respond to problem likely them with money or orthers form of support. Moreover, that is a chance for them to polish their name. Many people may not know who are they but they will remember every name connect with society works. Therefore, if they celerate the show for fund, many people will join this event.

On the orther hand, I think that famous people can really help to solve these problems.  Most people did not know that external their world, many unfortunate people face with hard diseases. When they follow their idols, they also want to contribute small things like money or food for a help. Volunteer work, I believe that is necessary for all of us. Nothing is difficult if we join together to save misery people. And celebrities are the keys.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that well-known people are very important to solve hard problems. We can not deny what they do to help the world. It is really helpful if they continue to promote and encourage every people give a hand to help unfortanate people overcome  their troubles.

Answer 1

Đoạn mở đầu nên làm rõ nội dung thảo luận trong bài. VD : My essay will shed light on both side of this problem... Mình cũng thấy một vài lỗi chính tả ở đây. VD : oganigation -> organization. 

These days, more and more illustrious stars work volunteer for non-government organization. Some people believed that this is a good way to attract more attention to serious issues, while others argue that it only make serious problem seem less serious. While, others thought they can give a hand to cut down these problems.-> câu này có nghĩa gì vậy?  My essay will shed light on both side of the above problem.

Đoạn thân bài 1 ý kiến có vẻ không thống nhất. Luận điểm là : sử dụng người nổi tiếng có thể giúp nhiều người chú ý đến các vấn đề xã hội hơn, nhưng luận cứ lại nói về việc việc làm từ thiện xã hội có ích gì cho người nổi tiếng. 

On the orther hand, I think that famous people can really help to solve these problems.  Most people did not know that external their world, many unfortunate people face with hard diseases. When they follow their idols, they also want to contribute small things like money or food for a help. Volunteer work, I believe that is necessary for all of us. Nothing is difficult if we join together to save misery people. And celebrities are the keys. -> lạc đề

Bên cạnh đó, đề bài yêu cầu thảo luận cả 2 mặt của vấn đề, nhưng thân bài mới chỉ có 1 mặt. Không thấy nhắc đến ý kiến người nổi tiếng khiến các vấn đề này trở nên kém quan trọng hơn.