Đề thi IELTS - 13/08/2015 - International travel can make people prejudiced rather than broad minded. Why people fail...
10,926 views
0 votes
0 votes

TOPIC task 2 của tuần này update ngày 13/08/2015 :

International travel can make people prejudiced rather than broad minded. Why people fail to benefit when they travel? What we can do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit?

-------------------------------------------------

Hướng dẫn sử dụng trong top Chữa đề IELTS hàng tuần:

Step 1: Click  ở cuối mỗi bài viết được post lên trong top để nhận xét bài viết của các mem khác (ưu tiên những bài chưa có góp ý nào nhé ^^ )

Step 2: Click nút  ở cuối topic này để post bài bạn viết lên. 

Step 2.5: Và đừng quên góp ý cho những bài viết trong mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để kiếm thêm point nhé :)

Luật của Top:

- Mỗi bạn sẽ post bài viết của mình lên dưới dạng góp ý (+2 point cho mỗi bài viết).
- Các bạn sẽ cùng viết, vote và nhận xét bài lẫn nhau trong Topic này.
- Bài viết nào được vote nhiều nhất sẽ được chọn làm bài viết hay nhất (+4 point).
 
Hạn chót nộp bài sẽ là 12h trưa sáng thứ 7 tuần này nhé :)

Have fun !

----------------------------

Bài mẫu: Updating...

by
243 points

Please log in or register to answer this question.

8 Answers

0 votes
0 votes
It is true that travelling across countries might make people judging on other cultures instead of broadening their horizons. There are several reasons for this tendency and steps which can be done to further improve people knowledge of places they have been to.

Two main issues of the phenomenon include the natural characteristics of human and the propaganda of the long-history countries. Firstly, the nature of human is being proud of their hometown, rather than of a strange place which has not related to them. For example, people could visit other villages with many even more interesting customs and traditions, however, theirs are better. Secondly, countries with long histories of construction and keeping the boundary out of other enemy’s eyes tend to educate their citizens about the glory of their motherlands. As a consequence, up to a point, their people would not want to discover other’s elites.

There are several actions which both individuals and governments can do to tackle the problems. The best course of action for individuals is to be neutral. In other words, they should bear in mind each culture has their own unique and no one is better or worse. The second step would be for governments to change the way of educating their residents. To put it simply, they should be told about the global village where a diversity of cultures is mostly unavoidable. As a result, not only can people conserve their national identities, but also might widen their understanding on other country’s achievements.

In conclusion, both national authorities and individuals play active roles in changing their attitudes toward the prejudicing other’s traditions, to understand well the places they visited.

(276 words)
by
54 points

1 comment

Có những từ hay
1 vote
1 vote

International travel has become more popular in the past few decades. However, there is a rising belief that travelling accross countries may make individuals prejudiced rather than broaden their knowledge. This essay will address the causes and propose solutions for this issue.

To begin with, there are two major reasons for tourists to be prejudiced when they travel internationally. First of all, culture diversity may be a factor preventing travelers from having an overall view. Some people may struggle adjusting themselves to the strange lifestyle of people in the country they are visiting. As a consequence, they are likely to suffer from culture shock and this will obviously influence negatively on their initial impression on the destinations. Besides, prejudice in travelling may result from the existing prejudices of the tourists themselves. In some circumstances, travelers have prejudice against their own country. When they visit another country, they might try to compare the two nations’ achievements, which makes the prejudice even more serious.

Due to the aforementioned causes and their impact, solutions are necessary to minimize this phenomenon. Evidently, to tackle culture diversity, visitors should do a mini-research on the destinations before going there. There are several methods such as searching for information on the Internet or exchanging their viewpoints with fellow travelers who have more experiences in this term. In addition, when visiting a country, people should not mind their own prejudice. It is necessary for them to focus on the achievements of the country, for example, in history, technology or education. By doing this, travelers would broaden their views and gain their knowledge as well.

In conclusion, prejudice in travelling is occurring more frequently because of cultural diversity or tourists’ existing prejudice. Travelers should be aware of this issue, strive for avoiding it so that they can utilize their trips.

(301 words)

by
25 points
0 votes
0 votes

        Các bạn chữa bài cho mình với, mình xin cảm ơn trước :)

           Global travel has recently received tourists’ negative responses that it can make them biased instead of being open-minded. This is mainly due to social unrests and the unreasonably high cost of services. There are numerous methods which should be implemented to improve people’s world travel knowledge.

            Firstly, one of the main inducements to the declining number of foreign tourists is related to the lack of social security. For instance, rebellions and other crimes such as burglary or terrorist attacks act as a deterrent to India’s tourism industry. Furthermore, Indian people show their little concern over women’s rights, so female visitors being protected from sexual harassment and rapes is nearly impossible. Secondly, the unreasonably high cost of services can fuel travellers’ worries. It is alleged that in many developing nations where tourism management seems not to be tight, foreign visitors fall victim to monetary fraud because of language barrier. Take Vietnam as a typical example. Foreigners travelling to Vietnam have tendency to pay services with the higher price than local tourists do.

           The solutions of this case are twofold. The first and foremost method in enhancing individuals’ travel knowledge is through travel books or online communities where people can share their travel experience. This method can not only help them save money but also learn how to protect themselves from crime and frauds. Besides, updating news about nations’ politics is also the key to avoiding social unrests.  

          In conclusion, despite its benefits, international travel brings with it many problems with regard to social security and tourism management. If travellers implement the above solutions, they can reduce their prejudice against travelling globally.

(271 words)

edited by
by
49 points
0 votes
0 votes
Chào các bạn. Các bạn góp ý giúp mình bài viết này nhé.

Travelling obviously helps broaden our mind. The odds are still there: People who most of the traveling time exposed to the biased situation reinforcing their believe and who are unwilling to change, would probably keep being prejudiced. Even though we may help giving them chance to explore the comprehensive information, they themself are the only ones who can change their own mind.

The first reasons of reserving ones' belief during travelling lie on the insufficient knowledge of the place they visit. Lets take an example of Mike writing a blog couple of years ago about his personal negative experience when he traveled to my country as a foreigner, which I found interesting. He mentioned about a shop-boy cajoling him to purchase some local crafts that later he found unuseful and way more expensive than their real value. He also complained harshly about a taxi driver trying to make a detour in order to increase his bill. By only two examples, he concluded that people in my country is dishonest. I can understand his situation, but those may happen anywhere in the world since tourists are always the potential targets of evil intention. I would suggest such people to experience more to observe various aspects of any place they visit, both positive and negative, to have an uninterested view of that location.

Seriously, someone who has chances to discover the opposite viewpoint still reserve from doing so. I myself have gone through that sometimes. While looking at a room for staying in any journey, even if I am on low budget, I always stay away from the hostel type. Since they usually organize many beds in a single room, I consider these places noisy, un-private, and unsecured. Despite of the positive online feedbacks by many people about my mentioned aspects of a hostel, and the fact that I could make friends and end up tasting stunning local colors, I never give it a chance booking that place. For people prejudicing with this same reason, change depends on them; no one else can help.

To conclude, people keep biased while travelling by either objective or subjective factors. We may help them to explore more plenary information, but cannot change their viewpoint if they do not want.
by
7 points

2 Comments

Hi,

Mình rất thích văn phong của bạn, rõ ràng, dễ hiểu. Viết cũng hay nữa.

However, vẫn còn lỗi ngữ pháp bạn nhé, nhưng không đáng kể, ví dụ: Cajole sb into doing sth...

Nói chung , theo ý kiến của mình, bài của bạn sẽ được tầm 7.0. Nếu mình là examiner mình sẽ cho bạn 7.5
Cám ơn góp ý của bạn nhiều. Lần trước mình thi viết mới được 7.0. Mình đang suy nghĩ để ngoi lên band 8 này :D
0 votes
0 votes

This is my personal essay, quite long.

In a prime age of globalization, people have much more chance to access other countries by business trips, expeditions and excursions. There is a certain concern of a disputable issue that some tourists have biased tendency of evaluating the culture, customs and political system in the country visited. It is my personal belief that there are two main underlying reasons of this issue, which include their outdated perspectives and local activities, whereas, local governments can eliminate those problems by legislation.

The first reason why travellers fail to comprehend local social environments is their distinctive points of view. In particularly, people usually make a judgement based on their limited knowledge and cultural horizon related to their countries. For instance, a person locating in a conservative nation will devalue prostitution business in travelled country. Due to the fact that people perhaps tend to appreciate their national values, they seem to disparage strange perspectives.

Secondly, travellers can misunderstand the nations in which they visited on account of how the visited governments organize tourist industry and manage national heritages. Regarding tourist sector, one of the most classical examples is managing the manners of tricky vendors. In some developed countries like Vietnam, they sell handy-crafts at a higher price for foreigners. As a result, the actions of local authorities play a vital role on sharping tourist thinking. In terms of traditional heritages, local authorities should preserve them from environmental and social damage.

Last but not least, local regulators can issue some reasonable pieces of  legislation to promote the quality of tourist services in order to make tourists understand their nations fully. In particularly, they can incentivize cultural and commercial campaigns to advertise their national images by providing financial support.

In conclusion, there are two leading factors affecting the judgement of some tourists consisting of their restrictedly national beliefs and numerous activities conducted in local nations. In addition, local authorities can eradicate misunderstanding from tourist thoughts by releasing many rational rules.

Hope to receive your rational feedbacks.

Nguyễn Bình Phương,

Best.

edited by
by
23 points
0 votes
0 votes
It is universally acknowledged that transitional travel could help people broaden their horizons with lively vivid experiences. However, it is undeniable that sometimes international tours can make people prejudiced rather than broad minded. Although there is a mixed diversity of reasons for this phenomenon, certain specific methods could be given to enhance the conception of localities they visit.

There are several reasons preventing travelers from obtaining profits when they take sight-seeing tours oversea. First of all, the deficiency in cross cultural understanding may result in wrong prejudices. A reasonable explanation for this is that some specific behaviors may be normal in a wide range of countries but are culturally taboos in other nations. For example, Indians generally do not eat beef because cows are considered sacred animals in Hinduism. Consequently, when they come to nations where cows are common source of meat for food requirements they would have offensive feelings toward local citizens. Another reason worth mentioning is that today foreigners have the tendency to take available tours designed by tourist companies. This usually just allows them to see the surface rather than deeply meaningful understanding of local culture, which limits tourists to obtain the know-how optimally.

In term of solutions, I believe that the local government should be highly responsible. Firstly, the simple method is providing tourists materials regarding host country’s custom, cuisine, tradition and convention for free. This would help foreigners have a basic conception of the nation where they visit. A second measure would be organizing cultural festival where travelers could have chances to exchange and integrate culture.

In conclusion, that tourists fail to broaden their mind when travelling is resulted from a wide range of reasons. However, various methods can be taken to tackle this phenomenon.
by
16 points

2 Comments

Your band score can outperform mine in the real test. Therefore, it is nonsense that I evaluate your performance in terms of band core.

- a mixed diversity of

=> Collocation là wide/ rich diversity. Mixed vẫn được dùng và phù hợp trong ngữ cảnh này.

- certain specific methods could be given to enhance the conception of localities they visit

=> I learnt much from your usage

=> The way you used "Result in/ from" is very skilful

- because cows are considered sacred animals in Hinduism

=> consider as sacred animals ...

- where cows are common source of meat for food requirements they would have offensive feelings toward local citizens.

=> Article: a/the common source of

In term of solutions

=> In terms of. At your level, I mean that you made this mistake unintentionally.

- Firstly, the simple method is providing tourists materials regarding host country’s custom, cuisine, tradition and convention for free.

=> why did you use "the"

Apart from some problems, your essay has high density of academic words, which are used correctly. In terms of Task Achievement, you did well by 2 paragraphs including reasons and solusions.

Về cohesion and coherence, cấu trúc tổng thể rõ ràng, các ý liền mạch và không có redundant or irrelevant ideas.

Good essay

 

Best

Nguyen Binh Phuong

At first glance, your second paragraph seems a bit lengthy compared with your third paragraph. Though this may not affect your band score much, it's better to have symmetrical structure for your paragraphs as it might impress the examiners more :)
0 votes
0 votes

Travelling across countries enables people to  widen their horizons and to have vivid experiences, however, some of international holidaymakers can prejudice local residents for many reasons. Therefore, both travellers and tourist agency should jointly take measures to salve this problem.

People who does not conduct meticulous research on their destination ussually hold prejudice. Some of tourists have a tend to generalize what they see or hear without finding it clearly on their own. For instance, they often bring along expensive  cellphones, cameras or money without carefulness in tourist attraction, there is a chance for criminals to commit crimes. As a result, travelers oppose this country or city have high rate of crime. Another issue prevents travelers from benefiting is that they can't adopt themselves to the host nation for lack of deep knowledge of customs and taboos. When travelers go to Muslim, they should not wear short clothes. Otherwise, local people misjudge that travelers do not pay respect for them. 
To tackle this problem, both individual travelers as well as local authority have to take adequate measures. Firstly. Each people should have a preparation carefully for cuisine, traffic, customs...so that they can prevent from awkward situations or misjugdements. Secondly, it is believed that goverment's responsibility is putting a lot of tourist information center in attraction places. This allow holidaymakers to pay a visit more easily and safely.
In summary, with a lack of careful preparation, instead of obtaining remarkable and precious experiences, international travelers make them prejudiced. Therefore, opertune solutions have to carry out in order to tackle this problem. 
by
17 points

1 comment

bạn nên chia thân bài làm hai đoạn và thêm một số cấu trúc ngữ pháp phức tạp
0 votes
0 votes

Mình thấy đề này khá khó nên thử làm lại. Các bạn cho ý kiến về phần viết của mình với nhé. Tks.

It is sometimes argued that international travel do not bring good things to people like it is usually mentioned, the trip is even worser when the destination leave bad impresses in travelers’ mind. The causes why people do not have good experience when traveling and solutions to it will be discussed in this essay.

To explain why many people do not benefit when they travel to other countries, we can focus on two main herewith reasons. Firstly, the travelers have shortage of knowledge on local people and cultures which would embarrass them when they stay there. For instance, Western people feel being disturbed by the questions relating to their family or mariage status in Vietnam as they do not understand that it is how Vietnameses make aquaintance with and express their friendliness to foreigners. Secondly, the weak ability of adaptation is one which results in failing gain benefit from traveling. This commonly happens in young people who just experience their first staying abroad and feel everything extremely different from their cultures and behaviours in their homeland. Two major causes make international travel become a disaster and even make travelers prejudiced instead of having good memories after the trip like they should do.

Foreign visits will not leave terrible obsessions in tourists and they do really have good feelings about new horizon if their undestanding of the destination is improved before departure. It is not very difficult for people who want to learn about the world outside their motherland as now they can assess variety of information sources such as books, TV, etc…. For example, those who is going to South Africa may get information about its people and cultures in local websites; such initial preparation will help them avoid troubles which may occurs during the trip. In case the visits are organized by tourism companies, they must have very good schedule and provide their customers with full information about the countries in their tour; memos to remind on behaviors in the tourism places are also should be send to visitors, for example they should wear formal clothes when they visit pagodas in Thailand or India.

To conclude, international sometimes make people prejudiced rather than broad minded but I believe that it could be solved with the methods mentioned above. (379 words)

by
66 points

Related questions