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Topic: Giving lecturers in auditoriums to large numbers of students is obsolete. With technology everything can be done online. Agree/Disagree?

With the advancements in technology, it is widely accepted that teaching at schools is no longer appropriate, and it could be done completely online instead. I completely disagree with the idea of completely e-teaching due to its potential problems and highly recommend that students should study at schools with teachers just like the old times.

There are several reasons why I would argue against e-teaching. Firstly, that studying everything online without any direct interaction with teachers and other classmates means a serious lack of eye-contact, which is one of the key factors to the success of lecturers. Secondly, if a student who has a good command of technology has the access to his school's system, he will probably change his own scores and even his friends' scores without any suspections from others which cause the inreliabilty to the school's reputation. Finally, sitting too long in front of electronic devices can cause people a long list of health diseases, including short-sightedness and obesity. Many American kids these days have obesed-related diseases and this rate does not seem to reduce in the near future.

I believe that instead of taking classes online, students should study with the traditional face-to-face method. The success of thí method is undeniable: students still acquire many valuable knowledge at schools, their social skills and behaviour are still greatly enhanced through mini projects, school field trips and team work activities. Students' academic achievements in various subjects such as maths, science, and languages are still reliable and acceptable. Furthermore, face-to-face teaching method helps students in building social interactions with their classmates, and therefore they would know what their friends are good at and may be try to keep up with them. Last but not least, this method seems to do no harm to students' health, at least with the appropriate guidance from teachers.

In conclusion, I'm convinced that e-teaching brings more harm than the traditional teaching method, and students should consequently attend classes, even with the developments of technology.

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1 Answer

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Huhu trong 40 phút mà bạn viết được thế này hay quá  ToT

Mình chỉ móc lỗi 1 vài chỗ nhỏ xíu thôi :

- Đoạn thân bài 2 xài 3 chữ 'still' liên tiếp trong 2 câu

- 'Just like the old times' (Mở bài) với mình nghe nó hơi văn nói, hơi không academic cho lắm (còn nếu thầy cô bạn bảo xài dc thì ok)

- Thân bài 1 lặp 2 'score' 2 'cause'. Theo mình nên bỏ 1 cái 'score' đi (his own and even his friends' score). 1 'Cause' thì thay bằng 'lead to' (chắc bạn cx biết r ha)

he will probably change his own scores and even his friends' scores without any suspections from others which cause the inreliabilty to the school's reputation. Finally, sitting too long in front of electronic devices can cause people a long list of health diseases

 

Nhìn cái kết cấu thân bài của bạn giống kết cấu 5 câu của ielts simon :) Noí chung là vác cái này đi thì thì ổn :) 

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bài này mình làm đúng chuẩn 40 phút đó :>>

Lúc viết lên words còn thấy mình dùng sai một số từ cơ :")

Nhưng mà cảm ơn bạn nhé, mình sẽ cố sửa lại thật hoàn chỉnh.

Đây là bài thử nghiệm đầu tiên của mình theo phương pháp thầy simon, và thấy cũng hiệu quả phết :>

May quá mình cứ tưởng k ai góp ý cho bài của mình.

Một lần nữa cảm ơn bạn nhé.

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