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Question

Topic: some believe that children should be teach of right and wrong since they were little, and punishment is necessary for them to obey.

To which extence do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

It is true that teaching children about right and wrong when they are young is necessary, but I do not seem to agree with the thought that punishment is need to help them learn it.

First of all, I agree with the opinion that we should teach children about what they should do and what they shouldn’t because if we don’t, they cannot separate the thing they want to explore and the thing that dangerous on their own due to lack of experience. And then, they can be easily follow evils and do not have a bright future such as selling drug, game addicted, bullying,… so the adult need to point out what is right and what is wrong for them.

In the second hand, some children do not follow the adult instruction right away, some because they still want to explore things around them, some because they have some tough feeling with their parents so they don’t want to believe them. However, some parents consider that their children don’t listen to them is mean that they are being rude to them, so they decide to punish them. Some think the best way to make their children obey them that they use physical or emotional punishment, or both such as slap, whip, punch, kick, curse,… everything they can do to make sure that the children scare of them and never want to do any disobey action to them ever again. But what these parents don’t know is that by doing that, they accidently turn their cozy home into a cold-blooded dungeon, and children, obviously, will lost some trust on their parents.

In conclusion, I agree with the fact that children should be educated about right and wrong since they were small, but the parents must be patient with their children and do not use any physical or emotional punishment on them. 

Answer 1

Đầu tiên sẽ sửa cho bạn về format trước đã , để bạn định hình task 2 viết ra sao , còn lỗi grammar thì từ từ đã , tiếp tục học đi rồi sẽ thấm 

1.Đây là form chuẩn của mình  

Mở bài và kết bài không được dài bằng thân bài ,

2 bodies hay 3 bodies phải có chiều dài ngang nhau , không được quá lệch như bài trên của bạn

2. Lexical resources ( từ vựng ) :

vốn academy quá thấp (in the second hand : trong tiếng anh ko có cụm từ này và secondhand là (adj) chỉ hàng hoá đã qua tay 1 ai đó)  - in the other hand

Lấy câu này làm tiêu chuẩn nhé:punishment is need to help them learn it.  : ngay câu này có 3 cái lỗi

không có collocation ,paraphrase

lặp từ ( ví dụ punishment , right and wrong lặp đến 3,4 lần trong đoạn )

Sai grammar 

Mình ví dụ sửa thành như sau : Penalties will probably make a contribution to educate children

3. Không được liệt kê kiểu A,B,C,D  và dấu  ......  , bạn có thể dùng A,B,C and (so on ,so forth)

 

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