universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject

Question

Concerning about the issue that university education had better agree equal figures for men and women students in almost subject, people hold different views. While i accept that it could brings numerous benefits for college , i believe that it has some drawbacks

On the one hand , accepting equal students could brings a wild range advantages. Firstly, it helps people build up social skills easily , especially in communicate. For instance, in class has all boys and girls , they have various views about subject , they can discuss for many hours to find out the best solution. As a result, they can communicate with others, gradually get closer between boys and girls. In addition, they get soft skills to practice in life, they may have chance to meet different kinds of person. It is neccessary for people to dicover lifestyle .

On the other hand, this trend has some disadvantages in some way. At the first place, it maybe not good for one of them in subjects. For example, boys will not comfortable when they have to study music. Girls , on the other hand, they not suitable in studying physical education such as play basketball or play football.In stead of doing this , as a result, they can save time in class and do exercises.

In conclusion, universities had better find out better solutions  to balance between male and female.Moreover, it depends on subject that students choose  and their knowledge

Answer 1

Khi viết, nói "on one hand" thường được ưa dùng hơn so với "on the one hand" nhé bạn

http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/on+one+hand

đoạn 2: thực ra thì con trai dễ nói chuyện với nhau hơn và con gái nói chuyện với nhau cũng dễ hơn, chứ con trai con gái nói chuyện với nhau thì nhiều khi ngại, nên ví dụ của bạn ở đây, theo mình, thì chưa thuyết phục lắm.

đoạn 3

(mình gạch để bạn dễ so sánh thôi chứ không phải sai hay đúng gì đâu nhé)

On the other hand, this trend has some disadvantages in some way. At the first place, it maybe not good for one of them (khi viết, người ta thường dùng boys, girls,... tức là ở dạng số nhiều hơn là dạng số ít) boys or girls in subjects. For example, boys will (bạn không đảm bảo được 100% nên không nên dùng will) may/might not comfortable when they have to study music. Girls , on the other hand, they might find it's tedious to study physical education such as play basketball or play football (người ta biết môn thể dục gồm những gì rồi bạn). In stead of doing this, as a result, (nhiều từ nối quá) they can save time in class and do exercises.

Answer 2

Concerning about the issue that university education had better agree equal figures for men and women students in almost subject, people hold different views. While i accept that it could brings numerous benefits for college , i believe that it has some drawbacks

On the one hand , accepting equal students could brings a wild range (wide ranges???) advantages. Firstly, it helps people build up social skills easily , especially in communicate (in communication). For instance, in class has all boys and girls (in a class with both boys & girls)  , they have various views about subject , they can discuss for many hours to find out the best solution. As a result, they can communicate with others, gradually get closer between boys and girls. In addition, they get soft skills to practice in life, they may have chance to meet different kinds of person. It is neccessary for people to dicover lifestyle .

On the other hand, this trend has some disadvantages in some way. At the first place, it maybe not good for one of them in subjects. For example, boys will not comfortable( will not be) when they have to study music. Girls , on the other hand, they not (they are not) suitable in studying physical education such as play basketball or play football.In stead of doing this , as a result, they can save time in class and do exercises.

In conclusion, universities had better find out better solutions  to balance between male and female.Moreover, it depends on subject that students choose  and their knowledge