task 1: Underground Station Passenger Numbers in London

Question

Given are a line graph providing the number of passengers in London underground station according to time of a day( from 6a.m to 22 p.m). Overall, it is apparent that the number of visitors in underground station witnesses a considerable fluctuation over the period shown.

As can be seen seemingly from the information provided, the number of visitors is only 100 people at 6 a.m, reaching a peak of 400 people at around 8 a.m. The figures declines exponentially in the next 2 hours, at under 200 people, after increasing gradually till around 14 p.m. Before reaching a high point at nearly 400 people at 18 p.m, the figures hits the bottom at 100 people at about 16 p.m. the number of passengers experiences a swift decrease for the following 2 hours, at the end of the day ( from 20p.m to 22p.m)  there were around 150 passengers visiting to London Underground station.

(153 words)

Answer 1

Mình học lớp 10 nên có gì sửa sai sót, anh/chị sửa giùm nhé:

(AAA): Nhận xét

(Ex: AAA): chữa nguyên câu/chữa nhận xét 

AAA: sửa từ

Given are a line graph providing the number of passengers in London underground station (I think you should try to use another synonyms such as: metro station/subway station ) according to time of a day (Sorry because I seemingly can not understand the phrase. Another word: Operational time ) ( from 6a.m to 22 p.m). Overall, it is apparent that the number of visitors in underground station witnesses a considerable fluctuation over the period shown.

As can be seen seemingly from the information provided, the number of visitors is only 100 people at 6 a.m, then reaching a peak of 400 people at around 8 a.m. The figures figure declines exponentially (Make sure you use the right word to describe) in the next 2 hours, at under 200 people, after increasing gradually till around 14 p.m 2 p.m. Before reaching a high point at nearly 400 people at 18 p.m 6 p.m, the figures figure (I think you should another word: the number/amount of travellers, the number of people,) hits the bottom at 100 people at about 16 p.m 4 p.m the number of passengers experiences a swift decrease for the following 2 hours, at the end of the day ( from 20p.m to 22p.m 8-10p.m)  there were around 150 passengers visiting to London Underground station. (Where are comparisons and significant points?) (Ex: As can be seen seemingly,the underground station witnesed a bottom of passengers in the initial, at only 100 people at 6 p.m,then suddenly reaching a peak of 400 people in a day at around 8 a.m, exactly fourth compared to the least one.) or (Before being ascended to reach a top again at approximately 400 people from 5p.m to 6p.m, the amount of people hit a bottom at 100 people at 4p.m, which was as the same level as the begining of the day) 

Comment and Improvement: Grammar mistakes. I think you should make comparisons.

Good luck. Here is my facebook account whether you'd like to get in touch with me. Account : Do Huan. Avatar: LA city

Answer 2

Given are a line graph providing the number of passengers in London underground station according to time of a day( from 6a.m to 22 p.m). Overall, it is apparent that the number of visitors in underground station witnesses a considerable fluctuation over the period shown.

As can be seen seemingly from the information provided, the number of visitors is only 100 people at 6 a.m, reaching a peak of 400 people at around 8 a.m. The figures (this figure) declines exponentially in the next 2 hours, at under 200 people, after increasing gradually till ( informal word) around 14 p.m. Before reaching a high point at nearly 400 people at 18 p.m, the figure hits the bottom ( bạn có thể đổi cấu trúc là there is a sudden plunge in the numper of passengers using the underground station )at100 people at about 16 p.m. the number of passengers experiences a swift decrease for the following 2 hours, at the end of the day ( from 20p.m to 22p.m)  there were around 150 passengers visiting to London Underground station.