Đề thi IELTS - 27/06/2015 - people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out ..

Question

TOPIC task 2 của tuần này update ngày 27/06/2015 :

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

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Hạn chót nộp bài sẽ là 12h trưa sáng thứ 7 tuần này nhé :)

Have fun !

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Bài mẫu: Updating...^^

Answer 1

Nowadays, people lives are more modern but also unpredictable. People are likely to be afraid of staying at home or going outside. It also can be understood that people do not feel safe every where.

 The origin of this serious problem is cause by many reasons. It is devided into two sides. The first side, the concern about staying at home, many people believe that their houses are the safest places so they think that they should stay at home in order to avoid being threatened by the life outside. But, staying at home is also dangerous and makes many people worry. It is caused by the increasing of crime. They can be pillaged even when they are watching tv. But it is more serious when be outside. The moment you lose your vigilance, you can be robbed immediately. But it is not the main reason of this problem. The main problem is there is an high rate of unemployment, therefore, they have to do somethings to gain their lives. For example, if someone is unemployed, they have to live by doing the things they may do not want, even that thing effect badly to other people.

 With that issue, we have many solutions to solve it. Firstly, we can make the unemployments become employments. More specifically, we can provide more jobs for them. Secondly, we can send more police to the street and patrol more frequent. Therefore, the crimes will be decreased.
 
 In my opinion, we should decrease the number of crimes so that people won't feel unsafe anymore.

 In conclusion, people's concern is caused by many reasons but also can be solved by many ways.

Comments

-The origin of this serious problem is caused by many reasons

- The main problem is there is an high rate of unemployment ( ở đây mình không hiểu lắm, có phải bạn muốn nói :The main problem here is a high rate of unemployment)

- they have to do somethings to gain their lives ( ở đây mình nghĩ dùng từ gain ko đúng với ngữ cảnh câu cho lắm, mình nghĩ là Improve thì được hơn )

- even that thing effects badly to other people.

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Nowadays, people lives are more modern but also ( minh k thay not only) unpredictable. People are likely to be afraid of staying at home or going outside. It also can be understood that people do not feel safe every where.

 The origin of this serious problem is cause by many reasons. It is devided into two sides. The first side, the concern about staying at home, many people believe that their houses are the safest places so they think that they should stay at home in order to avoid being threatened by the life outside. But, staying at home is also dangerous and makes many people worry. It is caused by the increasing of crime( Minh thay hoi dai, giong loi viet ng Vietnam). They can be pillaged even when they are watching tv. But ( lap tu roi) it is more serious when be outside. The moment you lose your vigilance, you can be robbed immediately. But it is not the main reason of this problem( Vay no la nguyen nhan gi). The main problem is there is an high rate of unemployment, therefore, they have to do somethings( hoi gio minh k thay somethings co s) to gain their lives. For example, if someone is unemployed, they( he or she vi no thay the cho someone) have to live by doing the things they may do not want, even that thing effect ( affects) badly to ( on) other people.

 With that issue, we have many solutions to solve it. Firstly, we can make the unemployments become employments. More specifically, we can provide more jobs for them. Secondly, we can send more police to the street and patrol more frequent. Therefore, the crimes will be decreased.
 
 In my opinion, we should decrease the number of crimes so that people won't feel unsafe anymore.

 In conclusion, people's concern is caused by many reasons but also can be solved by many ways.

Bài viết của bạn còn yếu lắm, cố gắng lên bạn nhé, bạn tự học đúng ko?

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Dòng " With that issue,....." bạn sai chữ unemployments -------> unemployment ( không " s " ) bạn nhé!!!

 

Answer 2

Đây là bài của mình, post lại sang đây :D
 

In the today’s society, there is a number of people who are afraid of unsafeness either at home or not. While several reasons for this, solutions can be adopted to resolve the problem.

 

On the one hand, there are several causes can be given to justify the unsafeness. Firstly, the increasingly gap between the rich and the poor and the high unemployment rate in out society can be precursors for crimes to be happened. An indigent person who is unemployed may think about committing a crime to have money such as a robbery, regardless of the safe of innocents.The second reason is that drivers have to face several threats while they are driving. Some over speed drivers can cause serious accidents that pose a threat to the lives of other people.

 

On the other hand, measures should be tackled to cope with this phenomenon. Primarily, the legal system should be fortified. Some strict punishments could be an effective barrier to prevent offenders from their illegal activities. For instance, serial killers should be sentenced to death to protect innocent individuals. Another solution can be campaigns to raise awareness of drivers to ensure the safeness on the road. The high driving awareness makes the vehicle controllers limit the speed while driving. Thus, this may lead to the decrease of accidental cases and relieve the health care system from the high demand for medical treatment as well.

 

In conclusion, there are many reasons why people have the feeling of unsafeness, and solutions needed to resolve the problem.

 

Comments

In the today’s society, there is a number ofsome people who are afraid of unsafeness either at home or not. While several reasons for this, solutions can be adopted to resolve the problem. This essay will elucidate the origin of this fear and give out some feasible measures to solve the problem.

 

On the one hand, there are several causes can be given to justify theexamplifying unsafenessthe lack of safety. Firstly, the increasinglydistant gap between the rich and the poor and the high unemployment rate in out society can be considered can be precursors for crimes to be happened. An indigent person who is unemployed may think about committing a crime to have money such as a robbery, regardless of the safe of innocents. The second reason is that traffic accidents could happen due to the lack of concentration of drivers or unexpected technique problems of the means.  drivers have to face several threats while they are driving. Some over speed drivers can cause serious accidents that pose a threat to the lives of other people.

 

On the other hand,(On the one hand/ on the other hand thích hợp với dạng bài 2 views hay agree/disagree hơn bạn nha) There are some measures can be implemented to should be tackled to cope with this phenomenon. Primarily, (Firstly) the legal systemlegislation and legulation should be strictly fortified. Some strict (strong) punishments could be an effective barrier to prevent (deter nghe nó chuyên hơn nha bạn) offenders from doing their illegal activities. For instance, serial killers should be deprived their rights and put into jail for a lifelong timesentenced to death to do no harm to the community.protect innocent individuals. Another measure to improve the situation is publishing publicly more watchwords in the public places to increase the citizen’s awareness, especially for the drivers.solution can be campaigns to raise awareness of drivers to ensure the safeness on the road. The high driving awareness makes the vehicle controllers limit the speed while driving. Thus, .this may lead to the decrease of accidental cases and relieve the health care system from the high demand for medical treatment as well. Thus, if carrying out these methods effectively, the safe of public will be significantly enhanced and citizens will feel more safer and place their trust in the government

 

In conclusion, there are many reasons why people have the feeling of unsafeness, and solutions needed to resolve the problem. Câu này không biết sửa sao luôn. Hihi. Nên thôi, mình làm câu mình.

In conclusion, there are some potential risks whether we want or not, they are unavoidable. Therefore instead of sitting and thinking about negative things, what we have to enhance our lives is keep your mind think positively since good things will only come when you go for it.

 

Answer 3

It is argued that in recent days, either staying at home or going outside are dangerous. There could be several reasons for this, and I consider some possible solutions to the problem.

 

Firstly, people feel insecure when going outdoor because they are scared of many unexpected accidents. One of the causes must be traffic collision that injures or even kills lifes. Weather could bring about suddenly incidents such as heavy rain or thunder. The growth in criminal rate, kidnappers for example, is another reason that threaten residents.

 

On another side of the statement, accident is also the reason why people can not be safe even in their own house, but it is just an outside factor. In some cases, family causes more harmful in both physical and psychological health. I have read many articles about domestic violence or the discrimination against LGBT community that people are attacked for living within their real desire. These person are being hurt by their families, kicked from their home and threatened by a part of our society. Home is no longer the safe shelter for them.

 

In my opinion, I agree that human is vulnerable and can be harmed in any places. However, we can solve the problem by particular actions: following safe rules in driving, watch the weather forecast before going outside... To treat with lawbreaking situation, we need to be equipped with self-defenced skills. Human welfare must be the tough issue, but we are able to give a hand in encouraging and supporting many worldwide programs, so that the spirit can be widened and then, enhance people’s awareness.

 

In conclusion, though the insecure is inevitable in both in and out of our home, as long as we have a conscious mind, we can stay away from danger.

Answer 4

It is admittedly many people, today, are insecure about their safety due to the fact that number of crimes is growing at alarming rate. Some stated they do not feel safe even at home. Personally, I believe there are several reasons behind this matter and some solutions discussed in this essay, can possibly mitigate it.

Public’s degrading safety concerns can be the result of many factors. Firstly, it is obvious that there are overwhelming articles and reports on the news recently about domestic abuses, murders and robberies. A psychopath in the UK, for instance, broke into a residential house and decapitated a woman last year. These kind of horrifying stories certainly haunt people and make them worried about their safety at home. Secondly, the situation exacerbates on the streets. A result from social experiments carried out on streets in New York truthfully depicts that a commuter averagely get harassed several times a day on public transport. To make the matter worse, it is no strange to everyone hearing about terrorists’ bombing plans in public places on any forms of media. Thus, it is understandable that people feel vulnerable about their protection and security at home or out.

However, there are certain solutions, I believe, can resolve this issue. First of all, governments should enhance residential security by employing more polices to patrol around local areas and public transport stations. Australia has implemented this initiative and significantly reduces number of crimes during late hours. Additionally, occupants can consider using advanced trespassing detection technology. This method is potentially useful in preventing such dreadful events from happening. Consequently, people would feel safer in the local areas and public places.

Overall, people’s concerns about home and public safety are mainly because of crime precedents reported on the media. The matter can be mitigated by tightening security on the streets and using more advanced technology in households and local suburbs.                

Answer 5

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

 

Our today world is experiencing a comprehensive shifting, which is both positive and negative. Although people’s  material life is significantly promoted, they still feel insecure. In this essay, I will elucidate this problem and outline several feasible solutions to it.

Environmental pollution is sited as the first threaten to human’s health. The atmosphere we are breathing is contaminated with toxic gas from vehicles and factories, which do harm for our liver and lung. Besides, the increasing portion of crime, resulted from outstretch population, endangers one’s safety. Parents don’t dare let their children go out without accompanying, especially at night. These little children run the risk of being kidnapped when alone, and even with their parents, they can’t avoid traffic accidents.

Tackling these obstacles, generally speaking, is a long-term progress. Firsly, strict laws and regulations should be executed in order to admonish people of protecting the eco-system. Secondly, authority has traffic mediators to control the flowing lines of vehicles on the road, especially at rush hour. Thirdly, education measures are put forward to enhance the awareness of

citizens.

In short, I believe that though all the listed problems are seemingly hard to be resolved, we can mitigate them by gradual efforts and changes in daily lifestyles. Individual responsilities are of great importance.

 

 

Answer 6

Sau khi được 1 bạn góp ý mình sửa bài viết, những câu in nghiêng là do bạn đó viết. ^_^

In recent years, people are being disquieted by the increase in crime rate and traffic accidents. At home or out in the street, they no longer feel secure. I believe this worrying condition can be mended if we take the following approaches.

 

The main reason why people feel unsafe is the increase in crime rate and road accidents. This can be clearly seen in the mass media of each country. Everyday incidents of crime such as robbery, theft, or terror attacks in public places are reported. Take the bloody terror attacks caused by self-proclaimed Islamic State for example. Besides, the traffic news has reported accidents occurred frequently, particularly in the developing countries where the transportation system is small, narrow and backward. This news makes all people and the governments on the world concerned and worried.

However, some effective solutions are implemented to prevent crime rate and traffic accidents. Firstly, to prevent crimes of robbery, theft, terrorism in public places, the government must strengthen security by sending policemen patrolled continuously and have heavy penalties for the offenders. Furthermore, each person enhances self-protection awareness when going on the street, and also at home by closing the door or installing a security alarm system. Secondly, to minimize road accidents, the government must invest, upgrade, expand roads, and install the modern monitor system in order to manage traffic better. In addition, all people need to raise awareness of observance of traffic rules.

In brief, the increase in crime rate and traffic accident is main reasons making people feel insecurity inside and outside the home. But there are several methods to tackle this phenomenon such as strengthening public security and raising self-protection awareness of each individual.

Comments

Dear,

You don't have to apply so many conjunctions and connective phrases to your essay. In Ielts, coherence does not mean linking-word abuse. Let's look at your paragraphs. You see, the pattern "conjunction, ..." was consecutively repeated. Instead, I recommend that some conjunctions be placed in the middle of the sentence. For example:  some effective solutions, however, are implemented to prevent crime rate and traffic accidents. 

Additionally, redundant phrases, such as:the main reason why, it can be clearly seen,... improve your speaking scores, not writing. In speaking section, they allow time for thinking. However, in writing, they make your essay redundant and not laconic.

There are tiny but acceptable grammatical errors. Be more careful later.

Best regard,

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Thanks for pointing the errors.

 I will try to write better in the next times.

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you are welcome!

Answer 7

It is undeniable that people nowadays consider about their safeness when they are out or even staying at home. This essay will discuss the reasons for this topic and some approaches for people to preserve themselves from harmful.

The first reason is connected with traffic accidents another factor is the increasing level of crime. To begin with, the vehicle accidents happen frequently when people lost their concentration because of drunk or sleepy which makes the number of dead raising every year. Plus, the deadly potholes on motorway also leave lots of serious consequences. Moreover, the poverty and unemployment are the causes of crime growth. Instead of working to earn salary, these people injure others to rob money.

However, there are ways for people to preserve themselves form crime and vehicle accidents. First of all, keeping concentration by having good sleep before taking long distance and not being a drunk driver can be reduced traffic accidents. Moreover, to minimize this problem, government should frequently check as well as update road quality. Secondly, criminals are more and more dangerous nowadays so people have to enhance their self-protection awareness at the same time government have dispose more policeman on the street at night with weapons to catch criminals suddenly. Plus widen job opportunity is also responsibility of governors to decrease the number of thief, murderers and robbers every year.

In conclusion, the increasing of crime and traffic accidents are main causes of unsafe feeling. However, the problem can be solved by promoting self-protection awareness and the action of government.   
các bạn góp ý giúp mình nha^^

 

Answer 8

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions? (27-06-2015)

Mentioning about security, one can not avoid a look through the safety of people both at home and outside today. In fact, this problems are multiple and certainly, the solutions to accompany them are various as well. We will be taking a glance at them below.

Nowadays, people have to face more difficult problems than before. To begin with, overconfidence is believed to be one of the most influential causes of this matter. This would be because when they are at home, they always feel safety enough not to close their door or window. Benefiting by credulous of the member family and these mistakes, thieves break suddenly into the house. However, it is also dangerous when we go out.  This is due to the fact that the traffic areas also make the matters worse. People today are afraid of having to go out because of the dense crowd, so many unexpected accidents continuously occur. To be final analysis, governments and civilian have obligations to ensure the public safety as one of our missions.

It is not impossible to handle such problems as there are promising solutions that we can make use of. The first possible way to get its root would be to put seft-protection awareness into citizen and to set up camera systems in many corner of street to shrink the dangerous situation as much as possible. By combining these solutions, the public safety can lessen the impact of thevies on the lives of the people. Taking on the second problem, in the meantime, broadening the roads, establishing more traffic light is also one thing we should do. This is possible to carry out because this approach help the traffic more easier.

The causes and solutions mentioned would not be all due to time and length limit. The though-provoking nature of this issue should need further considerations more academically and thoroughly.  

 

Answer 9

In recent years, there are many threats which have occurred in our society. This lead to confusion of not only people staying at home but also people going out. In this essay, I will analyze major reasons and suggest the ways dealing with.

There is no doubt that this serious issue comes from variety of different causes including impact of natural and human. The first reason to explain for this is that the climate change causes some disasters. Annually, many people die by tsunami, earthquake and volcanic eruption. Although these events do not happen frequently, some people believe that perhaps they could become the next victims of natural disasters. Second, there are tremendous of negative news which are provided by mass media. Thus, people who have habit getting daily news are easy to shocked. For example, in several month recently in Viet Nam, the number of serious crime increases significantly because of some simple reasons such as stealing the money or confliction. Therefore, many people stay at home, lock the door and live in the fear.

To face with these problems above, there are some effective solutions, which should be carry out by the governments and residents. Firstly, the government should invest for modern technology used for predicting disasters before occurring. The scientists can warn people the dangerous places in order to they move to safer places or have a better preparing. Secondly, decreasing the amount of shocking-news on mass media makes people to become more optimistic about beautiful life. Moreover, newspaper should provide self-protection ways or survival skills for people to cope with emergency cases.

In conclusion, there are many reasons lead to fear in our today’ society. Hence, we should learn how to tackle with those issues. If we overcame that well, we would become more happiness.

Comments

There are several mistakes that I can point out:

- "impact of natural and human" -> impact on nature and crimes

- "people die by tsunami, earthquake" -> are died

- "tremendous of negative news which are provided by mass media" -> tremendous of negative news...by the mass media

- Ở reason #2, mình thấy bạn give example (the number of serious crime increases) doesn't support quan điểm negative news ở trên. Do vậy, bạn nên viết ngay từ main idea #2 là: Second, the increase in the number of crimes may affect residents' fears. Tuy nhiên bạn chưa trả lời nguyên nhân tại sao people feel not safe at home. Task Response bạn sẽ bị mất điểm phần này. 

- "To face with these problems above" -> ...these problems above 

- "should be carry out by.." -> be carried

- "invest for modern technology used for predicting disasters before occurring" -> invest something in something -> invest modern technology in predicting ...

- "warn people the dangerous places in order to they move to safer places or have a better preparing" -> warn somebody of something -> warn people of the disaster areas to move to safer places / have better preparations.

- Mình nghĩ bạn nên nói về criminal reason rồi solve it, chứ negative news ko ảnh hưởng nhiều đâu :).

- "there are many reasons lead to fear in our today’ society" -> leading to fears in our today' society. Cụ thể là gì???? Resate reasons in paragraph 2

Overall: - bạn nên đọc kĩ đề để ko trả lời thiếu ý :))

            - ý của bạn khá nhưng cần cân nhắc vài lỗi trên 

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Mình trình tiếng Anh cũng tạm nên chỉ dám comment điều chắc chắn biết. 

Theo mình thấy, bạn Hang_hen sửa có một chỗ sai nặng. 'Die' trong ngữ cảnh bài này chỉ dùng được cho active thôi bạn ơi. Không thể dịch ra tiếng Việt 'bị chết' rồi chuyển thành 'are died' được. Nếu đã thêm 'are' để làm passive thì hẳn phải sửa thành 'are killed by'.

Tóm lại mình thấy bạn post bài viết vậy là hoàn toàn đúng. Mình đọc thấy bài này viết rất tốt không nghĩ lại nhiều lỗi sai như vậy. Tuy nhiên nếu có thêm các góp ý kĩ như của bạn Hang_hen cũng rất tốt. Bên cạnh đó cần chọn lọc thông tin của người sửa. 

 

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Rất cam ơn bạn @Khánh Nhi, không biết sao lúc đó mình lại để sai căn bản trầm trọng như vậy

Answer 10

People feel unsafe for a number of reasons: not only by higher rate of crime (reasons from human), by higher around risks (from inhuman such as: global issues, accidents) but also by mental problems when we are at home as well as going out.

Firstly, for human reasons, crime is a big factor which make us feel anxious, for instance: murder, robbery, theft, violence, harassment, etc. Petty crime, which includes pick-pocketing and snatch theft, is a problem in Vietnam. When we go to market, take a bus, we can lose our wallet, phones. Even at home, there are a lot of theft can take our property when we are sleeping or already gone out… More serious crimes are murders, violence. It is said that several serious murders, violence case were reported day by day, for example: Le Van Luyen, Tran Dai Nghia, Cat Tuong, violence in kindergarten, violent family… no matter where are we indoor or outdoor.

Secondly, for inhuman reasons, threat of global issues and accidents bring to us worried feeling. We must to take-care populated problems like air, noisy, water condition which are cause of dead rate in our country. Food system is one of alarm matter for qualify lives. Lots of diseases affect to us because of unsafe food. We have gotten many risks out of control, especially accidents which can happen everywhere, for instance: transportation, electric, high equipment incident; natural disaster.  

Thirdly, for our mental trouble, the development of internet & express news from digital newspaper always keep us update about bad news. We have been seeing them everywhere. In fact, they make us feel unsafe all the time although we are at home or not.

No one would deny that government and individuals can improve the safety of their lives. Arising better policies to protect environment, educate public, issue structure laws, build better transportation, food systems can decrease rate of violent crime & global/ national issues. Each person need to learn basic knowledge to aware danger, how to protect ourselves like escape skill, martial art, careful when we use high-technology equipment.

Finally, beside of unavoidable things, we can focus on positive thinking and useful news instead of useless worrying, it is better if we will focus on skills which can help ourselves and other.

(Link: http://scholarshipplanet.info/check/3239/de-thi-ielts-27-06-2015-people-today-do-not-feel-safe-either-at-home-or-when-they-are-out?show=3239#q3239)

Answer 11

My essay, quite long :))

It is not exaggerated to state that people nowadays cannot taste the sense of safety both when they are inside and outside of their house. This might be the result of many various reasons, however certain specific methods could be used to tackle this phenomenon.

There are several reasons preventing human to feel safe when they go out. Firstly, the accelerating rate of traffic accidents is always a threat to human beings’ lives, which causes a remarkable anxiety for road users no matter if they are drivers, passengers or pedestrians. Furthermore, in developing countries where the infrastructure is not comprehensive and integrated enough to assure secure transportation, citizens are more likely to get fatal accidents. Secondly, that waves of terrorism nowadays is increasing with an alarming rate also becomes an internationally contemporary specter. For example, in the past two years, people had a chance to witness the bloody massacre caused by ISIS, especially in Eastern Europe region.

Additionally, human’s safety might be not guaranteed even when they stay at home. A reasonable explanation for this is that problems such as air-quality deterioration and environmental pollution may cause negatively far-reaching impacts on citizens’ health no matter where they are. Another point worth noticing is the concerned levels of crime rate is now well correlated with the risk of being robbed and raped even at personal house. Nowadays, we could see numerous new headlines about tragic murders associated with killing innocent people to get money.

However, a wide range of measures could be carried out to help people have a safer life. Initially, government should invest more money in developing infrastructure facilities and improving environment quality. For instance, organizing campaigns to heighten the public awareness of road safety to encourage residents travel more carefully. Secondly, severe punishments and should be implemented to put a curb on crime. Besides, self-defense education course could be promoted to diminish citizens’ chances of getting injured.

To conclude, despite of the fact that dangerous situations are now putting people in an anxious state, I am totally convinced that this may be resolved by conducting aforementioned remedies.

340 words.

Answer 12

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

 

Our today world is experiencing a comprehensive shifting, which is both positive and negative. Although people’s  material life is significantly promoted, they still feel insecure. In this essay, I will elucidate this problem and outline several feasible solutions to it.

Environmental pollution is sited as the first threaten to human’s health. The atmosphere we are breathing is contaminated with toxic gas from vehicles and factories, which do harm for our liver and lung. Besides, the increasing portion of crime, resulted from outstretch population, endangers one’s safety. Parents don’t dare let their children go out without accompanying, especially at night. These little children run the risk of being kidnapped when alone, and even with their parents, they can’t avoid traffic accidents.

Tackling these obstacles, generally speaking, is a long-term progress. Firsly, strict laws and regulations should be executed in order to admonish people of protecting the eco-system. Secondly, authority has traffic mediators to control the flowing lines of vehicles on the road, especially at rush hour. Thirdly, education measures are put forward to enhance the awareness of

citizens.

In short, I believe that though all the listed problems are seemingly hard to be resolved, we can mitigate them by gradual efforts and changes in daily lifestyles. Individual responsilities are of great importance.

Answer 13

Nowadays, people lives are more modern but also => cấu trúc not only...but also