IELTS Task 2- Increasing petrol price to sovle traffic and pollution problems
edited by
7,648 views
0 votes
0 votes
closed

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. 

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What other measures do you think might be effective?

Nowadays, traffic and pollution are growing problems in most countries over the world. Personally, I disagree with the idea that higher petrol prices could solve these problems, and I believe that various other measures would be more effective.

On the one hand, increasing petrol price is not only inefficient to deal with the traffic and pollution problems, but also it may be a reason causing the insecurity of the world. Mineral fuel brings to human a lot of convenience to live, particularly in the transport field. However, their reserves are limited while demands of energy broaden dramatically with growing of the global economy. If the price of petrol continued increasing, it would cause the tense of the market. This might cause the crisis of politics and military. For an instant, the military conflicts occurred in the mineral oil production countries at the Middle East are warning about the world security. Moreover, increasing the  price of petrol also would affect seriously the global economy. Because there are many industries using petrol and depending on petrol price to operating and doing business such as transportation, gas industry, tourism industry and foreign trade. As a result, the prices of goods also would be rising up and affecting directly consumers.

 On the other hand, carbon dioxide emissions discharged from the vehicles using petrol fuel are one of the reasons caused global warm and air pollution. To solve these problems, some measures applied more effectively. The first is to fell significantly emission gas by developing fresh car classes using petrol less lead and sulphur or electric. For example, London and New York use hybrid buses, Paris use buses running by natural gas. The second is to decrease the quantity of private cars on the road by using road tolls, congestion charges and combining with increasing public transportation. These methods are doubly effective because they can go down traffic jams, air pollution and boost the budget of the State. Besides, other clean energy sources as biology, hydro, wind and solar are applied to replace gradually fossil fuels. In future, developing new energy sources is strategies to ensure the social living activities in general - speaking and the transportation in particular.

 

In conclusion, increasing the price of petrol is not the good way to solve traffic and pollution problems because it is a reason causing the insecurity of the world politics and economics. Although we have several methods to tackle these problems as using clean energy and managing the traffic well.

edited by
by
37 points

1 Answer

0 votes
0 votes
 
Best answer

hello, mình có một số góp ý nhỏ cho bạn như sau:

good poin: sử dụng linh hoạt nhiều cấu trúc ngữ pháp. vốn từ cũng phong phú, có các ví dụ rất cụ thể . tuy nhiên có 1 nhầm lẫn về ngữ pháp : increasing petrol is not only efficient to deal with the traffic and pollution problems, but also it may be a reason causing the insecurity of the world (bạn xem lại cấu trúc not only... but. mình ngĩ ở đây bạn phải dùng 'is not only inefficient to deal..."

ngoài ra, về bố cục của đoạn body 1 hơi lủng củng, các ý ko được mạch lạc cho lắm. đoạn Mineral - oil brings to human a lot of convenience to live, particularly in the transport field. However, their reserves are limited while demands of energy broaden dramatically with the growing of developing the global economy. As a result, the price of petrol increased sharply from $20 per barrel in 2000 to $120 per barrel in 2013 and it is expected to reach at $ 200 at the end of this decade  có cần thiết phải đưa vào ko. theo mình bạn nên tập trung trả lời câu hỏi: vì sao bạn ko đồng ý với việc tăng giá xăng dầu để kiểm soát vấn đề giao thông và ô nhiễm môi trường, như bạn đã làm tốt ở phần sau:  If the price of petrol continued increasing, it would cause the tense of the market. This might cause the crisis of politics and military. For an instant, the military conflicts occur in the Middle East are warming about the world security.  tuy nhiên, ở đoạn cuối của body 1, bạn có thể đưa thêm ý để bảo vệ quan điểm việc tăng giá ko phải là phương pháp hiệu quả, còn các ý của phương án giải quyết vấn đề ô nhiễm môi trường và giao thông bạn nên đưa vào khổ body 2. như thế bài văn sẽ mạch lạc và rõ ràng hơn. Đoạn body 2 của bạn theo mình đã viết rất tốt.

good luck!

selected by
by
27 points

4 Comments

edited by

Sau khi nhận được góp ý trực tiếp của bạn và thầy Tú Phạm mình đã viết lại bài này cho sát đề bài hơn, xin chân thành cảm ơn thầy và bạn. Rất mong thầy và các bạn góp ý cho mình những bài sau.

Nowadays, traffic and pollution are growing problems in most countries over the world. Personally, I disagree with the idea that higher petrol prices could solve these problems, and I believe that various other measures would be more effective.

On the one hand, increasing petrol price is not only inefficient to deal with the traffic and pollution problems, but also it may be a reason causing the crisis of economy. Most of motor vehicles use petrol to run for a range of different purposes, such as personal or business. Despite the increase in the price of petrol, people likely move by cars or trucks. Therefore, decreasing the number of vehicles on the road may be little. As a result, the congestion and pollution also could not be declined as a desire. Further, if the price of petrol raised high excessively, it would affect heavily the economics. Because there are many branches using petrol and depending on the petrol price to operating and doing business such as transportation, gas industry and foreign trade. Consequently, the cost of goods also would rise up and this would influence directly on consumers.

 On the other hand, there are several solutions to sovle traffic congestion and the pollution more efficiently than increasing petrol price.The first is to decrease the quantity of private cars on the road by using road tolls, congestion charges and combining with increasing public transportation.The second is to reduce gas emissions from vehicles by using clean fuels as petrol less lead and sulphur or using motors run by electric. For example, London and New York use hybrid buses, Paris use buses running by natural gas. These methods are doubly effective because they can go down traffic jam, air pollution and boost the economics. Besides, other clean energy sources as biology, hydro, wind and solar are applied widely to replace gradually fossil fuels.

 

In conclusion, increasing the price of petrol is not the good way to solve traffic and pollution problems because it is a reason causing the insecurity of economics. Although we have several methods to tackle these problems as using clean fuels  and managing the traffic well.

 

 

Nowadays, traffic and pollution are growing problems in most countries over the world. Personally, I disagree with the idea that higher petrol prices could solve these problems, and I believe that various other measures would be more effective.

On the one hand, increasing petrol is not only efficient to deal with the traffic and pollution problems, but also it may be a reason violating world security. Mineral oil brings humans a lot of conveniencesin life, particularly in the transport field. However, their reserves are limited while the demands for energy broaden dramatically with the growing development of the global economy. As a result, the price of petrol increased sharply from $20 per barrel in 2000 to $120 per barrel in 2013, and it is expected to reach at $200 at the end of this decade. If the price of petrol continues increasing, it would  result in the tensity of the market. This might cause a crisis of politics and military. For instance, the military conflicts that occur in the Middle East are causing issues with world security. In this situation, other clean energy sources as biology, hydro, wind and solar are applied to replace fossil fuels. In future, these new energy sources are strategies to ensure maintenance ofsocial living activities in general - speaking andtransportation in particular.

On the other hand, carbon dioxide emissions discharged from vehicles using petrol fuel are one of the reasons causing global warming and air pollution. To solve these problems, some measures can be applied more effectively. The first is to significantly lessen emissionsby developing fresh car classes using petrol without lead and sulphur or electric. For example, London and New York use hybrid buses; Paris uses buses run by natural gas. The second is to decrease the quantity of private cars on the road by using road tolls, congestion charges and combining with increasing public transportation. These methods are doubly effective because they can cutdown on traffic jams, air pollution and boost the budget of the State. 

In conclusion, increasing the price of petrol is not the best way to solve traffic and pollution problems. We have several methods to tackle these problems, such as using clean energy and managing traffic well.

Góp ý:

-          Task achievement: 9

-          Coherence and cohesion: 7

-          Lexical resources: 6

-          Grammatical range and accuracy: 6

Bài viết cần lưu ý cách diễn đạt từ ý thành câu; đúng ngữ pháp và từ vựng dùng đúng ngữ cảnh. Ngoài ra, có 1 số từ cần lưu ý khi sử dụng: tensity, emission, cut down on,…

Phần mô tả số liệu được viết rất tốt: As a result, the price of petrol increased sharply from $20 per barrel in 2000 to $120 per barrel in 2013 and it is expected to reach at $200 at the end of this decade.

Cảm ơn cô giáo Hương mysheo đã chỉnh sửa giúp để mình nhận ra những sai xót của mình.  Mình đã xem video hướng dẫn viết task2 của cô, và thấy cực kỳ dễ hiểu nên có thể viết  bài này sau 1 tháng học nhưng còn rất nhiều vấn đề về ngữ pháp và từ vựng cần học hỏi thêm. Rất mong cô giáo update nhiều video free nữa để giúp mọi người học tốt tiếng anh.

Chúc cô ngày càng trẻ khỏe và xinh đẹp để giúp đỡ được các học viên miễn phí nhiều hơn.

Thanks for your consideration.

Related questions

0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer