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IELTS Task 1 , help me fix the writing please. thanks i am a beginner :)

Nowadays, a large number of full-time students apply for a part-time job both to earn money and to gain experience. Some people definitely agree with the idea but others do not think so. In my opinion , i believe that each problem always has two sides.

As you know , firstly , working part-time helps students earn money to pay daily expense , especially for many students study far from home. In addtion, they could spend their money taking in some other useful courses so that students have will futher improve themselves.

Secondly, working experience is extremely important for every university learner. In fact, it is a part of the information needed in a personal profile. Further more ,working part-time is also a wonderful chance to learn interpersonal skills in particular and vital skills in general.

On the other side , lack of time for studying is an unsolvable problem. Working part-time not only occupy student's free time , self study time but also affects on their health while studying at their university is the most important. Additionally, students can be influenced by bad habit like cheating or blaming for someone. The experience is worthless and can destroy themselves.

In conclusion, the negative and positve effects always go together. Students need to balance studying and working part-time and need to know studying is even more important than anything else in this term.
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Nowadays, a large number of full-time students apply for a part-time job both to earn money and to gain experience. Some people definitely agree with the idea but others do not think so. In my opinion , i believe that each problem always has two sides.

As you know , firstly , working part-time helps students earn money to pay daily expense , especially for many students study far from home. In addtion, they could spend their money taking in some other useful courses so that students have will futher improve themselves.

Secondly, working experience is extremely important for every university learner. In fact, it is a part of the information needed in a personal profile. Further more ,working part-time is also a wonderful chance to learn interpersonal skills in particular and vital skills in general.

On the other side , lack of time for studying is an unsolvable problem. Working part-time not only occupy student's free time , self study time but also affects on their health while studying at their university is the most important. Additionally, students can be influenced by bad habit like cheating or blaming for someone. The experience is worthless and can destroy themselves.

In conclusion, the negative and positve effects always go together. Students need to balance studying and working part-time and need to know studying is even more important than anything else in this term.

nen dan question de cac ban biet moi chu. bai nay noi chung la khong on nhung do khong biet cau hoi nhu the nao nen khong hieu cach trien khai y cua ban. nhin chung cac cau truc ngu pham chua ok va con dung rat nhieu ngon ngu noi. co gang cai thien.

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