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It is widely believed that consumerism is vital for the economic well-being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
 

People have different views about the effects of consumerism. In my opinion, consumerism has both positive and negative impacts on society.

On the one hand, consumerism is one of the key elements of economic development. Firstly, as a result of consumerism, there is a higher level of employment. The increasing amount of goods and services creates more job opportunities. For instance, nowadays a growing number of office workers are spending their spare time selling online to earn an extra income. Secondly, the greater diversity of products and the better quality of services derived from consumerism are highly beneficial for consumers and the economy. The consumers have more products choices among different types and enjoy more comfort from a variety of services. In addition, the explosion of marketing and the competition between producers will stimulate trade growth and boost the economy.

On the other hand, consumerism causes many serious problems for society. In particular, consumerism originates a materialistic society in which the consumer’s needs and desires will never be permanently fulfilled. With the continuously changing trends of the market, many people are wasting their time and money to purchase unnecessary things. Consequently, there are more people living beyond their means, chasing material things and seemingly being unhappy with their present conditions. Furthermore, in a throw-away society, the rise of waste related to overconsumption such as packaging waste is seriously damaging the environment. According to a recent survey, there are 8 million tons of plastic dumped at sea each year. It is obvious that consumerism is one of the main causes of environmental pollution.

In conclusion, consumerism is a double-edged sword. It can bring significant benefits, or conversely, it causes serious damages to society. These effects can be good or bad, depending on the certain fields in which it influences.

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Ý kiến cá nhân mình nha bạn

-Task response 5.5+: Intro của bạn chưa tóm tắt dc đề bài và chưa nêu dc rõ ràng opinion của bạn. Cái example ở body 1 mình không thấy nó dính líu cho lắm. Body của bạn nêu dc các luận điểm thích hợp. Bạn phân chia bố cục bài tốt, dễ theo dõi và nhận xét.  

-Grammar 6: Bạn nắm áp dụng tốt các câu trúc ngữ pháp, vài chỗ sai. Câu cú vẫn chưa được mượt mà cho lắm

-Cohesion 6: Mình cảm thấy giữa luận điểm và luận cứ của bạn không dc kết nối 1 cách chặt chẽ cho lắm. Thêm example vào có thể sẽ tốt hơn cho bài của bạn 

-Lexical resources 6: 1 số từ dùng không đúng chỗ. Ví dụ như từ 'originates' ở body 2 bạn nên thay bằng initiates/starts/stimulates/constructs. 'The increasing amount of goods ' có thể sửa lại thành 'The increasing consumption of goods'. Nhưng bạn xài nhiều từ academic tốt và phù hợp với đề. 

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