Đề thi IELTS - 21/03/2015 - Some people believe when famous people support international aid, it makes the general public... [closed]

Question

Topic IELTS của tuần này 21/03/2015:

Some people believe when famous people support international aid, it makes the general public think about it. Others think celebrities make the problem less important.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Step 1: Click  ở cuối mỗi bài viết được post lên trong top để nhận xét bài viết của các mem khác (ưu tiên những bài chưa có góp ý nào nhé ^^ )

Step 2: Click nút  ở cuối topic này để post bài bạn viết lên. 

Step 2.5: Và đừng quên góp ý cho những bài viết trong mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để kiếm thêm point nhé :)

Luật của Top:

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- Các bạn sẽ cùng viết, vote và nhận xét bài lẫn nhau trong Topic này.

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Hạn chót nộp bài sẽ là 12h trưa sáng thứ 7 tuần này nhé :)

Have fun !

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Bài mẫu Band 8.0 cho đề Task 2 tuần này: 21/03/2015 đến từ IPP IELTS

It has become a common practice nowadays for international charity organizations to use celebrities’ support as a way of promoting donations from the general public. While this seems a disadvantageous action to some, I believe the advantages of using such a practice are by far more significant.

 

One the one hand, there are many undeniable benefits of having celebrities support a charitable cause. The fame of these celebrities will ensure that the intended message is instantly spread across geographies. With the help of modern day social media and the internet, the message can quickly become viral. In addition, famous people most of the time have charming and persuasive public personas. They will not only broadcast the message widely but will also help shape the public sentiments and make the public think more.

 

On the other hand there are several drawbacks to consider. It is not uncommon to see many famous people supporting charities only for the sake of their own personal gains. This can lead to such people wanting to have all the public attention on them and therefore undermining the original charitable intention. This is the case even when the celebrities are not doing such thing intentionally, as their greater than life personalities can still eclipse the entire cause.

 

With that said, I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in the long run for famous people can play an important role in international aid vis-a-vis attracting public focus. Given the correct communication strategies, I firmly believe that much of the downside risk can be mitigated.  

 

Answer 1

Nhờ mọi người xem giúp :) 

As the growth of our multimedia system nowadays, the influences of famous people to the community are rising gradually. Therefore, some people claim that the participation of celebrities in international aid could raise people 's attention, while others think that might bring negative effects. In my essay, I will consider carefully two points of view above and include my own opinion.

From the first point of views, definitely, I think the contribution of singers, movies stars or sport professional players, if they are willing to help, could bring many benefits for the international charity groups since they have a strong ability and powerful impact to others. For example, as we can observed from daily news, many famous actors or actress donate billions of dollars to help orphan or homeless-old people, or building school in remote areas. Furthermore, another influence, which cannot be overlooked, is the inspiration gained by celebrities. For instance, people, especially teenagers usually follow their idols' behaviors, consequently, they would imitate to their precious action such as contributing to society.
 

On the other side, there is a fact that many celebrities doing for international aid just in order to raise their reputation. For example, charity event organization sometimes has to pay money to invite a well-known singer. Thanks to the appearance of those celebrities, the event attracts more visitors, therefore, more donated money. In addition, some celebrities come to an event because of their advertisement contract. All of these facts lead to a notorious picture of both charity organization and that celebrities. Consequently, the public would lose their trust on these activities.
 

In conclusion, the negative effect comes from the minority of celebrities. I believe that most of them still play an important role in supporting the community, such as international aid. Our charity organization will receive much more help to figure out unsolved problems if those celebrities make the right choices and use their ability appropriately.

 

Comments

Chào bạn Thảo

Bạn ơi bạn cho mình xin bản tổng hợp các colocation thường gặp trong khi viết và nói với.

Mình sắp thi rồi mà học nhiều quá k xuể đc ấy.

Với lại k nhớ hết được.

email mình là [email protected]

Cảm ơn bạn nhiều

Mong  thư hồi âm của bạn

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Các bạn lên drive r save về giúp mình nhé. Vì hơi nặg xíu nên mail k load hết đc :)
Tớ mog cái này sẽ giúp ích cho các bạn ^^

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B-L9H6p-zVoJdFJMSzR2TWRBdjA/edit?usp=docslist_api

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Cảm ơn bạn nhiều
Bạn ơi mình tải về 2 lần rồi nhưng khi giải nén thì bị lỗi như thế này.Có ai tải bị lỗi như mình k thế ???

!   E:\collocations and idioms  (1).rar: Unsupported archive format. Please update WinRAR to a newer version.

!   E:\collocations and idioms  (1).rar: The archive is either in unknown format or damaged

 

Bạn làm ơn giúp mình up bản mới lên với.

Cảm ơn bạn chiếu cô'

Answer 2

 

In this day and age, for international charity organizations, the tendency to use celebrity’s reputation to raise fund from the public has become more and more common. Whilst many people argue it is a good idea, others believe that these famous people would mislead the original aim of promoting donations. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that celebrities help support the fund more effective. It is their common belief that for many, the representation of such people would mean that there are more people concerned over the problem through the media and shared the news from the celebrity’s pages, which often contribute to the raising of the fund. For example, by the act of being the main sponsor of Bill Gates Foundation, Bill Gates has taken full advantages of the people, who are following his personal pages, in order to call for a help from them as well as to spread the messages to the magazines, newspapers used his news. By this way, not only the charity organizations could receive greater resources of fund but also the public would be made to think about this problem more.

On the other hand, it is said that celebrities in a majority of cases, did make the problem less important. In the other words, they moved the community’s attention to another direction, which is more relevant to their personal reputation instead of the organization’s messages. In addition, some of them even do not intentionally do charitable actions; it is rare for these famous people to speak in front of the public for their own sake. They often make people and journalists waiting for them to raise their attention, which is totally different from the original charitable hopes.  

In conclusion, famous people have both advantages and disadvantages on charity purpose. While they are believed that would enhance the resources of fund through the sharing of the people following them and the concern of the media, some celebrities could lead the community to the wrong attention. In my opinion, if famous people intend to play their part in promoting the fund without any other calculation, up to a point, I agree that the advantages of the idea to use names or images of the celebrities to get attention are clear.              

 

Comments

Đây là một bài viết tốt, not yet 7.0, nhưng bạn hoàn toàn có thể được 6.5. Cảnh báo: Một vài người rất khó tính sẽ soi và trừ lỗi ngữ pháp của bạn kéo điểm của bạn xuống 6.0.

Đoạn kết luận bạn viết ngắn bớt nhé ;) Two sentences at most.

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Dạ em cám ơn ạ ^^.

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ban nen paraphase nhieu cum hon thi bai se gay gon, hay hon

Answer 3

Mong mn xem và góp ý cho mình ^^

There are many opinions suppose that people who are well – known have more positive effects on supporting to international aid organizations while others think that their fame of them will have negative influences on activities collecting aid from society. Both side have valid rationales but I personally agree with the first view and my reasons are outlined in this essay.

First, it is deniable that reputation of  VIP (very important people) make them to receive more notice from millions of people leading to their activities for donating aid have also more attraction  than a normal person’s activities. Besides that, because of their fame, they definitely have a strong impact on the young, especially their fans, who are easy  to be affected by their idol. When a celebrities take a nice activity, of course, young people surely have a good example to follow. Moreover, the contribution of famous people for money  is usually significant or spread quickly that the consequence will gain the desired effect. For instance, Bill Gates,  one of the most famous in the world,  gave very much money on stimulating the quality of health and decreasing poverty that have positive results in the whole world.

On the other hand, there are many person exploit their celebrity to promote their image in a untrue way. For example, they will agree with organizations to allow to  use their reputation to appeal provision from the public that they don’t give any donations for anyone. Futhermore, many person eastablish the charity to their personal aim that in some case, it is used for wrong purpose leading to  waste money and destroy  faith of not only many usual people bu also all community.

In conclusion, despite of arguments, I think celebrities have more benefits on supporting the aid to organisations than ordinary people.

Comments

Mình nghĩ:

1. bạn nên đọc lại bài của mình 1-2 lần để tự sửa những lỗi cơ bản về ngữ pháp cơ bản cũng như chia câu có ý dài thành những câu đơn hoặc câu phức cho câu rõ nghĩa hơn. Đặc biệt là câu này "First, it is deniable that reputation of  VIP (very important people) make them to receive more notice from millions of people leading to their activities for donating aid have also more attraction  than a normal person’s activities" --> cá nhân mình thấy câu rất không rõ nghĩa, và có vẻ như là dịch word by word từ tiếng việt sang.

2. Theo mình biết thì nếu đã dùng: "first" thì phải có "second" chứ không thể là "on the other hand" được

3. Collocation chắc cũng cần xem lại, mình không nghĩ là dùng decreasing poverty đâu. Bạn check lại nhé. 

4. "Besides that, because of their fame" --> mình nghĩ chắc phải lược đi như nào chứ hai cái đi cùng nhau thế này mình thấy cũng không acedemic lắm. 

5. Phần kết luận của bạn mình không hiểu muốn nói cuối cùng cái benefit mà celebrities có là như nào --> mình nghĩ nên viết lại cho rõ. 

 

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Mình cũg thấy bài của ấy hình như gặp kha khá lỗi ngữ pháp đó, bạn có vẻ nên xem lại 1 chút phần mệnh đề xem sao, và câu phức nữa ( k phải câu ghép nhé )
mình thấy nên dùng các academic pattern hơn là dịch word-by-word thế kia, nó dễ gây confuse cho examiner lắm. Với cả k nên tư duy bằg tiếg việt r dịch sag tiếg anh c ạ, làm thế giọg văn sẽ mất native. Mà bài của c nhiều dấu phẩy quá, đặt k đúg dễ thành sai lắm, cả khó theo dõi nữa
mình chỉ góp ý vậy thôi, mog là sẽ giúp ích cho bạn :)

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Bài của bạn mắc rất nhiều lỗi sử dụng giới từ. Ví dụ VIP của bạn cách đưa vào cũng chưa phù hợp. Chia số ít số nhiều cũng gặp những lỗi rất nặng (a celebrities)

Một số cách diễn đạt khác như "exploit their celebrity" có lẽ do khi viết bạn còn vội vàng. Khi luyện tập ở nhà, bạn nên tra cứu nhiều hơn các từ điển collocation và google.

Bài của bạn ở khoảng 5.0.

 

Tu Pham IPP

Answer 4

Mong mọi người góp ý cho mình nhé!

Cảm ơn trước mọi người nhiều :)

Public figures have quite a strong influence on the public in almost every activity including international charity programs they participate in. While I am for the view that the participation of famous people in international aid programs has, in many cases, been intended for the sake of their own professional career paths, one cannot refuse the major impacts it has on the public.

On the one hand, once a celebrity participate in an international charity campaign, it is quite easy to raise fund or call for sponsorship based on their popularity. This is on the grounds that famous people normally establish wide network and have a large number of fans who are always kept posted on their activities. People will, as the result, talk and discuss about the campaign. Social effects and spread are always the ultimate goals almost every international campaign wishes to aim at, which are effectively gained in this scenario.

On the other hand, they sometimes take this as a priceless opportunity to “polish their own images”, which means that personal benefits are taken into account rather than to the beneficiaries that the program may try to reach out. I am thinking of an example of a popular Vietnamese singer who was interviewed on MTV and asked about her plans. She shared that she had just come back from an African country joining in an international campaign calling for boycotting horn-related products. Very much to my surprise, she was quite clumsy explaining the reason why we should protect wild animals from horn hunters. This clearly shows the essence of what famous people’s participation in such a program.

In a nutshell, were it not for the participation of famous people in an international aid program, regardless of whatever reasons they join,  we would not see such substantial impacts and coverage of such programs had yielded.

Answer 5

Since the late of the twentieth century, there were several concert that marked a major turning point which the celebrities could involve in the important event or active campaign. It has become a pragmatic circumstance that some celebrities work in the art but also devote the non-profit organization. While this seems a hindrance to some, the profits of the luminaries’ dedication for society are by far more noteworthy.

To some who against the use of the celebrities, it is simply the most efficient for reaching as an big audience as possible. They are regarded as crucial tools to raise the attention in the unpopular issues to viewers, particularly in the new and younger audiences, which realize and aware the reality these day circumstance. Consequently, they will have more action to contribute their ability for help other people. At the latest count, the UN has at least 175 celebrities on its books as goodwill ambassadors for one agency or another. Being an English actress and activist, Emma Waston, for example, which was renowned from the popular Harry Potter series, has promoted education for girls who live Bangladesh and Zambia, and become the UN ambassador in 2014. Thus, they will not only raise the attention but will inspire for others to become philanthropist and change the old-fashioned preconception.

In contrast, it is not enough for a celebrity to say they care, they have also to show you know what they are talking about and what they are doing. Looking to attach themselves to good causes to boost their profile the general public and emasculating the preliminary aspiration of the charity work is one of the reason that they take part in the voluntary works. Thus, genuine intentions are the only one key that help to shape the public sentimental.

In a nutshell, the effective of the luminaries’ reputation in the long run for personage can play the essential role in the international focus such as the summary by Time Magazine: “And attention is the celebrigod's lightning bolt... But at least someone will see it. And someone will film it. And a few of us may, little by little, be moved to change it”

Answer 6

Some people believe when famous people support international aid, it makes the general public think about it. Others think celebrities make the problem less important.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

 

Thanks to the variety of international organizations, it has been dedicated to reducing the sufferings of poor countries, civilians and the disaster-stricken all around the world.Recently, there has come a point that it is acceptable for the famous to run a campaign promoting international aid. However, it is generally believed that this emotive subject should not be involved in celebrities.  Many debates have been waged on large formats in order to figure out the feasible solution towards this issue. 

It is true that when the celebrities first express their feeling about the international catastrophe to public, it sets a precedent for other people. For a start, idol is the best person who can undertake the responsiblity of a fund-raising. By this i mean, they are owning a huge following that are inclined to be easily influenced. Secondly, A significant number of international supports are partly contributed by stars. As young generations are entirely attracted to social networks such as facebook, international news or even the national one is most likely ignored. But thanks to celebrities, some powerful messages create a big wave for their fans to follow it.

However, i believe that there are more persuasive counter-arguement.

It is said that famous stars have play a big role in advertising international support, however, this is just a subjective opinion. First and foremost, the incentive to support our international hardships should be come from our heart but not our idols. In other words, this indirect awareness of the current difficulties, in long-term, will be a recipe for disaster than a recipe for humanity when people only pay attention to their idol, what they have done is completely following a movement but not showing a pity for their international friends. Secondly, many stars are always taking advantage of this event to promote their reputation, by letting them call for helping, we are facing a prospect of shadowing the radical value of this important event. 

On a whole, every side has its pros and cons, we cannot deny that some stars have made a precious contribution to international aid. Nevertheless, I personally believe that a motive to helping our international partners which came from ourselve is invaluable. 

   

Answer 7

Among different topics for discussion these days, serious attention is being paid to the important role of well-known people in the charity activities in the world. As a matter of fact, some people harbor a view saying that the support from celebrities play a vital part in the developing of international aid. Whereas, others believe that the famous person may make the issue insignificantly.

Admittedly, there are some reasons explaining why such the former opinion can be seen as convincing. Indeed, most of the advocates of this view reckon that celebrities always have a strong influence on the lives of others, especially youngsters. Therefore, they can assist the charity organizations by introducing the essential of donating activities to others. People in general and the youth in particular then may acquire easily. What is more, it can be true that to improve the quantities of products selling or increase the sales, a famous person is usually invited to advertise such kinds of products. And there is no exception in international aid. The result of this action will lead to the higher donating money.

However, there is still a number of people believe that charity organizations may have been impacted in a negative way by celebrities. Their argument is that some famous people take advantage in this action for their personal gains. This is just a way to attract other people to public their images. And when the main purpose of them is revealed, the aid can suffer a difficult situation.

In conclusion, both sides of the argument do prove reasonable to a certain extend. However, my own view is that the benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

Answer 8

It has become a common practice nowadays for international charity organizations to use celebrities’ support as a way of promoting donations from the general public. While this seems a disadvantageous action to some, I believe the advantages of using such a practice are by far more significant.

 

One the one hand, there are many undeniable benefits of having celebrities support a charitable cause. The fame of these celebrities will ensure that the intended message is instantly spread across geographies. With the help of modern day social media and the internet, the message can quickly become viral. In addition, famous people most of the time have charming and persuasive public personas. They will not only broadcast the message widely but will also help shape the public sentiments and make the public think more.

 

On the other hand there are several drawbacks to consider. It is not uncommon to see many famous people supporting charities only for the sake of their own personal gains. This can lead to such people wanting to have all the public attention on them and therefore undermining the original charitable intention. This is the case even when the celebrities are not doing such thing intentionally, as their greater than life personalities can still eclipse the entire cause.

 

With that said, I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in the long run for famous people can play an important role in international aid vis-a-vis attracting public focus. Given the correct communication strategies, I firmly believe that much of the downside risk can be mitigated.  

bai nay chi duoc khoang 5,5 la co thoi. grammar va accademic words su dung khong chinh asc va bua bai