ĐỀ THI IELTS NGÀY 28/02/2015 - BÀI DISCUSSION ESSAY BAND 6.0 CỦA BẠN EMINEMVIET

Question

 

1. You should also state your opinion, or simply say your conclusion on the dilemma will be also be given
2. Spoken language
3. Repetition of the word skills
4. a detrimental impact/detrimental impacts
5. ‘Purpose’, with this meaning, is a countable noun. It must not be left alone like this (no pluralisation/article)
6. A more academic expression is “ … ; therefore, …”
7. Unclear: Whose initial cravings are there? What do initial cravings refer to?
8. This sentence provides no clear support to the previous topic sentence.
9. Repetition of the word income -> have no or low income.
10. Works -> jobs
11. Pay for their expenses or cover/bear the expenses
12. No or poor use of cohesive devices
13. How about women? ;)
14. This is a rather bold recommendation. You should use more suggestive language, as your two body paragraphs do not support much for this recommendation.