Đề thi IELTS - 17/01/2015 - Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just ... [closed]

Question

Topic IELTS của tuần này 17/01/2015:

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

-------------------------------------------------

Hướng dẫn sử dụng trong top Chữa đề IELTS hàng tuần:

Step 1: Click  ở cuối mỗi bài viết được post lên trong top để nhận xét bài viết của các mem khác (ưu tiên những bài chưa có góp ý nào nhé ^^ )

Step 2: Click nút  ở cuối topic này để post bài bạn viết lên. 

Luật của Top:

- Mỗi bạn sẽ post bài viết của mình lên dưới dạng góp ý (+2 point cho mỗi bài viết).

- Các bạn sẽ cùng viết, vote và nhận xét bài lẫn nhau trong Topic này.

- Bài viết nào được vote nhiều nhất sẽ được chọn làm bài viết hay nhất (+4 point).

 

Hạn chót nộp bài là 12h trưa sáng thứ 7 tuần này :)

 

Tuần mới vui vẻ nhé :3

-------------------------------------------------

Model answer by Le Thanh Nam – Tu Pham IPP IELTS www.facebook.com/ipphanoi

Noise control has always been a highly debatable topic amongst policymakers. Whilst it is widely accepted that there should be some stern controls on noise generation, certain groups believe that it is a matter of their personal rights.  Both of these views will be evaluated before my personal opinion is stated.

 

Opponents of noise control typically base their arguments on the basis of individual freedom rights. To this group of people, it is their personal freedom to make as much noise as they want, depending on their ways of life. From this perspective, blasting volume can be considered as sources of stress-release and inspiration by those creating and listening to it. An illustration of this is a popular belief that noise is not universally ‘noisy’ and harsh sounds to some can be melody to others, such as the cases of heavy metal rock and dubstep music.

 

However, there are undeniable reasons as to why noise regulations should be established. First, it is scientifically proven that to human beings, noise can be immensely damaging, even more so if exposed chronically. Even if the listeners enjoy the banging stimuli in their ears, those sounds may gradually harm their physiology, causing hearing loss, mental instability and irregular cardiovascular functions. To make the matter worse, loud noises are even more detrimental to young children whose bodies have not yet fully developed. For these reasons, without proper noise controlling measures, public health conditions are likely to deteriorate.

 

Both sides examined, I personally believe that noise should be regulated for the health benefits of the society at large. The freedom of generating deafening sounds should be limited in private estates with well-equipped soundproof facilities. 

 

Answer 1

People have different views about whether or not stern controls about noise should be established. While many people think that they can make as much noise as possible, I believe that noise should be controlled by the policy of the government.

There are several reasons why some people want to create noise as much as they want. Firstly, the noise is indispensable in many situations such as the music programs, festivals, and sports games. In these cases, everyone has the right to create noise. Secondly, most of people feel relaxing when they make noise. For example, under the high stressful pressure, most of workers often tend to shout or sing aloud to release the burden.

Despite the above arguments, I believe that the government should establish the strict policy to control the noise to reduce the negative effects. When the noise becomes excessive, the terrible problems can arise and escalate even further over time if ignored. It can cause stress as well as inflicting some medical conditions such as sleepless nights and headaches if noise is lasted in the wrong place and at the wrong time. Besides that, the noise makes a nuisance to other people. For instance, the study of students can be distracted by the loud strum and drum sounds made by their neighbours.

In conclusion, there are good reasons why noise possibly be created as much as some people want, but in my opinion the noise should be strictly controlled by the policy of the government.

 

 

 

Comments

From my point of view, the idea, vocabulary as well as structure of this essay are quite good and . However, I still have some minor comments on it as the following ones to make it more perfect:
1. You should paraphrase the words related to the topic in the conclusion, too. I notify that you do a good job in the introduction but you should not repeat it in the conclusion.
2. There are some minor mistakes that I would like to support: you should change "inflicting" into"inflict"; "is lasted" into "lasts" and "be created" into "is created".
3. The last point is in my opinion, it is better to broaden the length of the introduction and conclusion a little bit.

---

bạn ơi đề bài là discuss, nên bạn viết như thế chưa chuẩn format nhé. cần viết 2 đoạn for-against với hành văn khách quan rồi đến đoạn cuối mới thêm ý kiến cá nhân nhé. Đó là theo những gì mình học được :)
cách viết của bạn bị hướng theo kiểu argumentative, dạng đó câu hỏi sẽ là "to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement" nhé :)

---

Hi, overall your essay is well written as you knew exactly what you were gonna write. However, there are some minor mistakes. Here are some of my suggestions (even though I am not confident with writing)
1. task response: your arguments are well developed.
2. grammar: instead of "the noise", it should be "noise" because we are referring to noise in general. "the loud strum" ---> "loud strum". "most of workers" ---> "most workers". Also, more grammar structures such as adjective clause, present and past perfect can be added to the essay.
"While many people think that they can make as much noise as possible" you dont need this line as you already mentioned it in the previous sentence.

Hope this helps

Cheers

---

Cám ơn mọi người ạ mình còn mắc lỗi gì nữa không nhỉ như diễn đạt chẳng hạn?

---

Mình có 1 số comments như sau:
1. Bạn nên paraphase các từ và tránh lặp từ, ví dụ như "as much as they want/possible xuất hiện khá gần nhua và trùng đề bài
2. While là liên từ để nối 2 câu chứ ko dùng cho 2 câu riêng rẽ
Các ý kiến khác các bạn trên cũng đã cho rồi :)

---

Hi bạn Susan Tran,

Nhìn chung bạn đã trả lời câu hỏi của đề bài, nhưng bài viết còn những hạn chế, mà bên mình sẽ nêu ra cơ bản như sau:

Bài viết của bạn lỗi nặng nhất là về ngữ pháp: Sử dụng thừa rất nhiều các mạo từ 'the' - tại 7 vị trí khác nhau. Một số lỗi khác như khi sử dụng most: 'most of workers', 'most of people' đều sai cơ bản (phải là most workers, most people).

Các lỗi dùng từ, lặp từ cũng rất phổ biến.

Để biết thật chi tiết về các lỗi tại từng vị trí một, bạn có thể tham khảo bài chữa chi tiết dưới đây:
http://scholarshipplanet.info/check/2214/de-ielts-hang-tuan-ngay-17-1-2015-bai-discursive-essay-band-5-5-cu%CC%89a-ba%CC%A3n-susan-tran

Cheers
Tu Pham from IPP IELTS

---

thầy ơi, thầy có thể xem qua bài cho e được không ạ :)

---

Em xem bài tại đây nhé! http://scholarshipplanet.info/check/2247/bai-opinion-essay-band-6-5-cua-ban-hangvu149

Answer 2

Some people think that making a noise is their own business and leave others’ feeling behind. However, it also leads to the idea of the importance of adoption the regulation to control the noise.

Making continuous noise without caring about others’ feeling might depend on some specific conditions. When people are depressed or in ill-tempered, by making a noise such as maximizing speaker’s volume or shouting out loud can be the best way to release unpleasant emotions. For example, driver usually honks vehicle’s horn so as to express their uncomfortable circumstance of trapping in traffic jam and attract others to do something. Or in a party or festival, noise from music and people’s laugh might considerably inspire atmosphere. In these situations, silence can deteriorate the value and meaning of the events. Therefore, even suffering from neighbourhoods’ complaints, people unwillingly make their party less noisy or even lose their voice because of screaming in a rock concert.

In my opinion, strict regulation to limit noise is also essential. Firstly, blatant noise is proven of the indirectly main reason for some mental and psychological problems. That is why psychiatric hospital and nursing home are usually located suburb or gentle and quiet places. Secondly, working and studying productivity are seriously impacted because noise distracts brain from thinking and concentration. Finally, noise pollution has been becoming one of the most serious issues of contemporary civilization. The regulation might partly contribute to control and reduce some unexpected influences.

To sum up, although people have right to make noise in special events, noise-controlled rules are important in order to partly limit some bad influences.

(269 words)

Comments

Mình nhận xét chung thế này nhé:
Về mặt bạn trả lời câu hỏi tốt như thế nào: mình cảm thấy câu trả lời của bạn bị một chiều, vì câu hỏi đã nêu rõ là phải discuss both views, bài của bạn tập trung nhiều vào phần "against", còn phần "for" thì lại chưa phát triển đủ. Một bài viết balanced là như bài của bạn Susan Tran ở trên, hai paragraph, hai ý phát triển đầy đủ.
2/ thứ hai về mặt ngữ pháp: nhìn chung mình cảm thấy bạn có xu hướng dùng nhiều thể bị động quá? (be + v-ed) - nếu như bạn sử dụng thể bị động trong khi câu đó sẽ gọn hơn nếu dùng thể chủ động, thì bài của bạn có khả năng bị giám khảo trừ chút điểm, mình nghĩ vậy.
3/ Từ vựng: mình thấy từ vựng của bạn tốt. Tuy nhiên ý kiến cá nhân mình nghĩ bạn nên tránh những từ mang tính chỉ trích mạnh như "stubborn" "flippant", nó có vẻ không nên nằm trong bài có tính học thuật như vầy, tuy nhiên đây chỉ là ý kiến cá nhân mà thôi.

---

Cảm ơn bạn
mình không đọc kỹ đề
mình sẽ sửa lại

---

mình sửa bài rồi bạn cho mình ý kiến với

---

Chào Tuấn, bài viết lại mình thấy khá hơn bài trước nhiều rồi, ít ra là làm đúng đề. Mình có một số góp ý như sau:
1/ phần thân bài của bạn tốt, tuy nhiên phần mở bài và kết luận có vẻ hơi mâu thuẫn, mình không biết ý kiến của bạn là hoàn toàn agree strict control (introduction), hay là đồng ý có control nhưng mà không hoàn toàn strict, vẫn cho phép một số hoạt động (như conclusion của bạn)? Mấu chốt của câu hỏi này nằm ở chữ "strict" và chữ " as much as [they want]"
Bạn viết rõ ràng, dễ hiễu, nghĩa là phần coherence đã tốt, chỉ cần phát triển thêm ngữ pháp và từ vựng vì đôi chỗ mình thấy có thể viết gọn lại hơn.

Answer 3

It is argued that whether noises should be controlled or not. While I agree that they can be freely made by individuals for some reasons, I believe that it would be better if they are controlled.

There are several reasons why competent authorities should let people freely make noises. Firstly, the freedom to generate noises is one of basic human rights, so restrictions would make everyone feel uncomfortable, which would lead to the low quality of people’s life. Secondly, there are valuable benefits can be reaped from noise making activities. For example, many workers usually drive to the beach screaming there to relieve tensions from their work, and chatting is also universally regarded as an entertaining activity. Those benefits might be lost if rigid rules such as a ban on creating loud noises on the beach were applied.

Despite above argument, I believe noises should be under control for the sake of whole society. The reason for this is that noises with high intensity could have detrimental effects on the life of those who live near the source of them. For example, the majority of urban residents does not like living in flats because noises such as loud music through the walls from their neighbors regularly disturbed their daily lives. If noises were not regulated by the government, many people would create them regardless of time and place, which would result in a chaotic society.   

In conclusion, although I respect the right to freely create noises of people, I believe that they should be regulated by the government for the sake of society.

Comments

mình thấy bạn có vài lỗi ngữ pháp:
1) let sb do sth chứ ko phải "let sb freely making noises"
2) a ban on loud noise Created on the beach" chứ không phải "creating" nhé.

Ngoài ra các từ vựng của bạn mình thấy khá phong phú

---

cảm ơn bài góp ý của bạn :)

Answer 4

Over the last decades, it is obvious that noise pollution has moved to the international agendas, provoking public concern over this new issue. Whilst some perceive noise generation as individual freedom, others advocate a strict restraint on such annoyance. I totally concur with the latter viewpoint, with justifications mentioned below

To commence with, it stands to reason that in view of influence on the surrounding, noise should be restricted. More precisely, it stimulates a distracting environment in which people can hardly concentrate on their work. In other words, the pervasiveness of noise occurs to the detriment of human productivity. That a noisy working environment acts as a deterrent to workers' complete engagement in their task fulfillment offers a typical example

Furthemore, noise pollution has been recently noted as a contributor to one's mental collapse. In truth, a continually noisy place normally brings about such diseases as headache in inhabitants there. In the long run, even more malign impact will appear, for instance, pressure-stricken mind, leading to a deterioration in life quality

Yet, some grant consent to clamour, under the impression that it meets with human freedom. This concept, however, merely holds true on the surface. Indeed, noise creation emerges as personal right when it is in moderation, which means harmless to others. Notwithstanding, when it becomes intolerable, there exists a need for a strict ban

In conclusion, the aforementioned arguments offer insights into vindications for prohibition of noise. Despite the common belief that this falls into individual right,a ban on such irritation is, in the interest of the society, essential

Comments

Hi em, em theo dõi điểm đóng góp trên diễn đàn này nhé, trước mắt các bạn khoảng 30-40 điểm trở lên sẽ được ưu tiên chấm bài trước.z

---

ad giúp em với, em đang định thi 28/2 nên phải cấp tốc tăng tốc. em cam kết là sau này sẽ tích cực comment hơn ạ, hix

---

Bên mình sẽ nhận xét một số nét cơ bản (không chi tiết) nhé!

Answer 5

Many people suppose that noise need to be manage strictly, while others think that noise could be make by themselves whenever they want. Personally, I believe that people should only make loud sound  in many special cases.

On the one hand, there are several beneficial when human make noise. First of all, the produce of noise can be seen as a form of human emotion. It is a natural phenomenon of people which helps them expressing their mood, emotions to outside. People should make noise regularly because it may reduce their stress or even increase their confidence. For example, if someone has discontents about something but they do not speak out and try to hold in their mind, it would easily lead to the serious heart disease due to the discomforts can not release for a long time.

On the other hand, I believe that noise is a kind of pollution which can affect to health, life and work of other people.Therefore, people should avoid big noise in some situations, especially public places because of several reasons. For example, many elder who have disease related to hypotension may get bad impacts to their health when they hear the loud sound or employees who are having an important call with their boss may find difficulty to focus in their work if next to them is some noisy kids. In addition with my case, sometimes I wake up at mid night because of the bark of a neighbor dog. Consequently, I usually feel exhausted in school due to the lack of sleep.

In conclusion, it seems to me that there are both advantages and disadvantages of making noise, however we should consider carefully before making loud sound to respect others and ourselves.

 

Comments

-mất điểm ngay từ mở bài. dạng đề discuss yêu cầu phân tích khách quan 2 mặt của vấn đề, ý kiến cá nhân chỉ nên xuất hiện ở cuối bài, không nên cho hẳn lên mở bài như vậy.
-tuy nhiên phần thân bài viết khá ổn, đúng format dạng bài (sao thân viết đúng mà mở viết ngố vậy trời @@)
-vocab và grammar còn đơn giản, dùng quá nhiều "I, people" và common words. example không nên dùng ví dụ của bản thân, tránh tính chủ quan.
-diễn đạt có phần dài dòng so với lượng ý cần truyền tải.

---

bạn nên củng cố phần grammar nhé :
to be manage=> to be managed
could be make=> could be made
several beneficial => several benefits
human make noise=> human makes noise/ humans make noise
the produce=> the production
human emotion=> humans' emotion
the discomforts can not => the discomforts which can not
big noise=> loud noise
elder=> older people

---

many elder=> the elder/senior people/old people/elder people
 impacts to their health (=> impacts on)

---

Các lỗi khác các bạn đã góp ý r mình chỉ muốn góp ý comment của bạn Bò cái. Đối vs dạng đề discuss both views and give your opinion hoàn toàn có thể đưa ra ý kiếm riêng ngay từ mở bài và paraphrase lại ý kiến đó ở cuối bài.

Answer 6

Sounds, since the early ages, have been proving their critical importance in the development of humankind. Music helps nurturing our souls, whilst languages defines us as the most evolutionary kind on Earth. However, when sounds unnecessarily grow into noises, they creates a controversial matter. There are inevitable debates on whether or not should some laws be compelled to control noise, which require to be discussed fairly.

On the one hand, supporters of practicing noise-handling rules claim that overwhelming disturbing loud sounds will, in every circumstance, assault next-door dwellers’ aural ability in particular and physical health in general. In fact, scientific researches carried out by WHO has classified noise as a type of pollution, which triggers not only headache but also stress. Therefore, strict rules on soundproofing methods appear to be compulsory, especially for industrial zones and night clubs.

On the other hand, there exists a large number of opponents who argue that controlling noise is synonymous with preventing creation as well as violating personal freedom. To be more specific, certain artistic skills, for example drumming or playing electric guitars, truthfully demand practicing. Honestly, how can a potential rock star make his fame without messing up his room with noise? Furthermore, it is unacceptable to inhibit mowing due to a neighbor’s complains of occasional engine roar. Hence, actual cases have presented that noise controls are dispensable.

To recapitulate, to some extent it is believed that noise limiting laws are essential for community. In contrast, there remain reasonable arguments against those rules. Thus, both local government and residents should put benefits and drawbacks into rigorous consideration in order to attain the best solutions.

Comments

mở bài nên đi thẳng vào vấn đề, bài này yêu cầu give ur opinion vì thế mà mở bài b phải nêu quan điểm của mình là ủng hộ ý kiến nào.

Answer 7

To reach a consensus of solution for noise-related issues in modern and busy society remains controversial. In the view of some people, as its varied unfavorable effects, noise should be controlled by strict regulations in order to make our community and living environment quieter. Others, however, believe that it should not be a matter as long as they leave visual boundaries in the neighborhood untouched. This essay will discuss the validity of both views.

Noise pollution, generally, causes many predictable health problems including hearing loss, speech interference, sleep disruption, stress and lost productivity. The immediate and acute effect of noise pollution to a person, over a period of time, is impairment of hearing. Prolonged exposure to high sound levels will damage our eardrum, which may result in permanent hearing. Children are at risk as well. It is suggested that they seem to be more vulnerable than adults to noise-induced hearing impairment. Additionally, children who live in noisy environments have been shown to have elevated blood pressure and elevated levels of stress-induced hormones.

Nevertheless, in case of bearable and reasonable noise levels, it would become an exhilarating experience to quite a few people - cheerful and enjoyable musics, for instance - to relax, revise and thrive. Also, opponents have their points in the belief that noises represent for life and making noise is a means of communication to immerse oneself in the surroundings. Whether the goal is to have a good time with friends, express one's feeling, or just to get attention, the social force is the driving force. In some extent, it is true that a land with absolutely no sound is the land of death, horror, and desperation.

In the final analysis, each side has its own reasoning, however, it is definitely necessary to set recommended noise limits to control the risks contained. Another good solution to reduce noise suggested is planting trees along roads and in the residential areas as they not only absorb sound but generate a healthy living environment.

Answer 8

While many people believe that how much noise can be made should be a freedom of choice, I think that the amount of noise should be put under strict control. 

For a variety of reasons, a limit on the amount of noise should be a violation of people’s rights.  Firstly, there are certain places that produce so much noise and we have no rights to order these places to be quiet. For example, some supermarkets, shopping malls and some entertainment areas are typically some sources of big noise and it is absurd to demand such crowd to make virtually no noise. Secondly, it is ridiculous to ask children to keep silent. While learning and interacting with other people, they must make noise or even big noise. If a kindergarten is not allowed to be noisy, it should not be a right place for children.

On the other hand, I believe that there should be a control imposed on the noise people make. Firstly, too much noise may cause some health problems. For example, if a person who has had a working day full of stress, that person may definitely suffer a lot from a noisy neighborhood and find it almost impossible to relax in such surrounding. Secondly, some particular environments require some extreme quietness for the people working there’s sake. For example, schools that experience the big noise day by day cannot make a good studying environment for students. More seriously, excessive noise may cause some harm to student’s brain if they have to struggle with it while studying.

In conclusion, although people can make certain big noise in certain cases, I highly believe that it is better to put a limit on how much noise should be produced.

(289 wrds)

Comments

collocation big noise là sai nhé => loud/deafening noise
 if a person who has had a working day full of stress ?
for the people working there’s sake=> people không có the, for the sake of people working there.

Answer 9

There is a heated argument going on as to whether noises should be strictly controlled, or should we be left to our own devices and make as much noise as we want. I, personally, am not partial to any of these two extremities; rather, a balance between the two is more desirable. 

On the one hand, the detrimental effect that noises inflict on human and nocturnal animals is not foreign to us. For nocturnal animals that carry about their activities at night, noises disrupt their hunting, as well as mating ritual and thus threaten their existence. For human, noises at night can cause sleeplessness, and prolonged lack of sleep would lead to chronic insomnia, and in more severe cases, clinical depression

On the other hand, we as human have the need to organize gatherings and have fun. This is because since the ancient time, our ancestors had learnt to form communities, in order to survive the harsh conditions then. Such lifestyle is forever engraved into our genes, so that even in this age when a man can sustain alone if he so chooses, he cannot endure the loneliness for long. We need to bond with our community through parties or festivals. Noise is an inherent part of such activities; there is no escaping it.

In my opinion, as paradoxical as it seems, strict control about noise and freedom to create noise is not mutually exclusive, but instead can co-exist together.

Singapore’s Clark Quay is a prime example of striking the balance successfully. Singapore is infamous for their strict noise control around residential areas; still, they have Clark Quay, the famous nightlife spot by the river where the merrymaking can continue until the wee hour daily. Clark Quay not only allows the pursuit of fun without distressing others, but also rakes in millions of dollars each year as a tourist attraction. Now that is what I call an optimal solution. 

(319 words)

Comments

để được chấm bài, bạn nên đi góp ý làm tăng số điểm của mình lên từ 20 - 40 nhé

---

cám ơn bạn, mình sẽ cố gắng chăm comment hơn vậy ^^

Answer 10

In the today’s world, with an increasing industry and entertaining human needs, the level of noise, which community are creating, are increasing more than in the past rapidly. While there will be positive effects for the humanity if we have tough noise’s control, I would argue that noise production also has more advantages.

It is true that the human society definitely need numerous noise’s policies to enhance life better. Firstly, when the noise reduces, the community generally stays health better because they can avoid loud noise which has impact on the heath worse day by day. Secondly, it is beneficial for the public areas such as hospitals, parks and so on, which local residents regularly need quiet after they work hard on the weekday.  Furthermore, if there are right policies to control the noise which the humans produce, the global environment will not only be eco-friendly, but also reducing some threatens to flora and fauna.

On the contrary, there are benefits for producing the noise in the daily life. This is because sound also plays an important role in many respects. For example, the fishermen or hunters often utilize the device which can detect sound frequency, to entice and catch animals. In addition, the entertaining areas, which can be movie theatre, lived show music and disco space, use noise frequently, because the citizens need them to relax after their stressful works.

In conclusion, I am convinced that the humanity, especially governments and authorities should have a right strategy to control and use sound appropriately, thereby creating  a better life with a reasonable level of noise.

Answer 11

My essay:

Many people argue that it is necessary to have a strict regulation controlling the noise. However, others oppose such idea and believe that any citizen should be free to produce noise. I am inclined to agreed with the latter argument.

Those who advocate the ideal of initiating policy to control noise have their own justifiable reasons. The noise is proved as the cause of many negative effects on human. With the high level of noise, the auditory ability can suffer from the reduction of ability. For those who need a quiet space to concentrate on their work may be disturbed by the noise producing from unknown source.  According to many research, the noise can be detrimental to our mood. The average stress level of citizens who live in the center of metropolitan areas is much higher than those living on the outskirt, which can be explained by the facts that the center city witnessed higher level of noise of means of transportation.

On the other hand, others postulate that making noise  is one of ostensible rights of each individual and it should not be restricted.  Anyone can freely produce noise as they have their reasons. Making noise such as speaking out loud or sing out loud can is a feasible way to reduce stress level.  So making noise is considered as an useful therapy. Moreover, it is also impossible to circumscribe the producing of noise for several particular fields. For example, in some industrial, making goods and making noise concur and we cannot calculate  the level of noise  and restrict it. And the cost to measure the noise level can be very expensive, which can lead  to the fact that it is difficult to judge whether anyone making excessive noise.

In conclusion, I do believe that producing noise is an individual’s right and we should not regulate that activity. We can reduce the impediments of noise by isolating the frequent noise makers such as factory, karaoke to a particular area.  Making a legal document to regulate noise makers is not essential.

Answer 12

Bài của em ạ, mời mọi người góp ý, nhớ chấm điểm cho em nữa ạ :D

The debate about whether we should impose controls on noise has triggered a lot/raised a storm of controversy. Many a reason have opponents and proponents of noise control put forward to support their arguments. From my point of view, noise may inflict serious consequences on our society and therefore, should be limited.

On the one hand, opponents to noise controls hold that as the world economy grows, more and more industries, especially heavy industries will become dominant, make new products available to serve our needs. In these processes, noise creation is unavoidable, especially for those companies involved in manufacturing or transportation. Therefore, noise must be seen as a normal part in our life. Furthermore, they also contend that the effects of noise is often unclear, making it difficult for policymakers to evaluate and limit it. For these reasons, they conclude that noise control is unfeasible.

On the other hand, there are also reasons against noise. One of the primary concerns is that terrible noise in the manufacturing or transport sectors will adversely affect people’s life. It has been witnessed that people suffering from deafening noise in manufacturing factories or coming from heavy trucks in the roads will have their health, mental and physical alike, seriously degraded. Scientists are also convinced that noise severely hampers our ability to concentrate in work, thus reducing our productivity and have disastrous consequences on the economy and the natural environment as well. They even go on to confirm that thanks to technological advances, noise measurement and evaluation will become easier, creating favorable conditions for us to impose strict controls on noise, even the creation of a noise-trading market (similar to the carbon-trading market that has been already in place in many countries). Modern technologies also makes it possible to reduce noise, especially in public places.

In conclusion, reasons against noise control are often unpersuasive in comparison with those supportive of it. Noise should be controlled to bring about more and more benefits to our society.

Comments

1. Bố cục trình bày của em đã phù hợp với format bài thi, nhưng đoạn 2 có phần hơi quá dài.
2. Em còn mắc các lỗi về informal language
3. Bài này như kiểu em viết ở trong 2 trạng thái khác nhau, vì có một số đoạn sai ngữ pháp ngây ngô, còn một số đoạn lại rất chặt chẽ và rất tốt.
4. Nếu em sửa 2 lỗi trên, và duy trình được phong độ về Task Achievement, Từ vựng ngữ pháp thế này thì 6.5, thậm chí hơn, là cái đích em có thể hướng tới. 6.0 là trong tầm tay của em.

---

ôi mục tiêu của em cao hơn cơ ạ :(

---

Em cố gắng sửa những lỗi như:
- Many a reason
- opponents to
Cách dùng từ như:
- a lot

Em cũng nên cân đối một chút nữa giữa việc viết 40 phút trong phòng thi và bình thường thoải mái thời gian.

Chúc em thành công!

Answer 13

Nhờ cả nhà xem giúp ạ

 

People usually have to suffer many types of noise appearing in daily life such as noise from transportation, household chores and construction equipment. Some people think that, to reduce the noise, the Government should set up strict policies to control it. However this view is still in the central of debate.

 

There are many supporting ideas that making noise is a good way for many people to work well and relax. In fact, a great number of articles and research published on several papers and magazines all over the world pointed out the advantages of noise in study. They indicate that students might study more effectively in case they speak out their lessons. In addition, screaming is known as a method to help individuals not only to get out of stress but also to show their happiness. Children love making noise when they feel exciting or when they want their parents to pay more attention for them. And adults tend to calm down after screaming. That is to say, making noise could be seen as a vital part of life.

 

On the other hand, many people argue that noise has bad effect on human. First of all, noise is known as a type of pollution when it is turned on in high volume or as an unexpected sounds. Passive listeners who are not willing to hear it could become stressful quickly in the short-term, and in the long-term, noise pollution can make them lose their ability to listen properly. Moreover, unwanted noise occurring in daily life could put human life under threat. In fact, there were a great deal of accident happening to drivers on the roads when super loud noise suddenly distracted and led them to be out of control.

 

In short, making noise as well as avoiding from unsatisfied sound is equally important. Individuals could have rights to speak as much as they want as long as what they make does not have bad impact on other people and society.

Answer 14

A social matter may draw certain attention these days is more and more noise appearing in people's lives. Among various opinions on the issue, there is a suggestion saying that government officials should impose some strict limitations on making noise in today's societies. The view does sound convincing up to a certain point.

Indeed, there are a number of good points offered by those who choose to support such a suggestion. First of all, it can be generally acknowledged that noise has adverse effects on health and work of many people, especially those living near the construction works, so restricting noise proves to be very necessary. Second, it is clear that noise pollution is increasingly serious due to the development of industry and technology, and hardly is it possible to solve this problem without any strict regulation.

Judging the argument from another angle, there are as well several points proving that it is not really sensible for governments to reduce noise in a strict way. It is quite true to say that  most severe noise are generated by activities which is related to the growth of national economy, especially in the field of industry, and thus, the practice of restrict noise can lead to the decline in manufacturing or scale of industry in some countries, particularly developed ones. Another fact worth noting is that modern technologies usually go together with noise, and the benefits of using them far outweigh the drawbacks, which includes making noises.

On the whole, there may not be a complete agreement on which side is more plausible , but my own view is that restrictions on making noises is essential in making a real good life in the future, so it should be done as soon as possible.

(292 words)