The question of IELTS task 2 (13/12/2014)

Question

One of the most debated issue in our comtemporary life is the expenditure of food and baverages in many countries over the world. While lots of people claim that these goods should be banned due to they are unhealthy. In my viewpoint, I totally disagree with that view with several reasons, as will now be discussed in this essay.

      Firstly, governments and authorities should not ban stores and shops where sell different kinds of unhealthy food and baverages because this action will probably lead to the promoting of increasing illegal foods. For example, in some developing countries such as Vietnam, there are lots of food and drinks still have been selling without the permission of the government like strongly wine, especially rising the rate of this problem in some border regions.

   Secondly, the issue of banning food that are bad for humans's health may have negative effects on the shop's owners. Decreasing the quatity of this cargo in their branches might has several impacts on the total income. As the result, this phenomenon may causes to the deterioration of their living standard, and also has effect to the whole society. For instance, in many areas in Vietnam, the selling of these goods has the important role of the overall money for their families. Therefore, if the local authority impose the policy like this, their livelihood may be effected considerably.

    Finally, with the society, the action of banning unhealthy food and baverages will contribute to the decline of the consumption of food produces. In addition, in some parts in the world, the using of this goods might supply edequate demanding of great number of humans, particularly is young people. In Vietnam, for example, a lot kinds of food like fastfood or KFC company's produces are essential for people who have limited time for cooking at home.

   In conclusion, for these aboved remedies, I believe that shop's owners should be permissed to provide these foods because the benefits that may bring to individuals and society.

Answer 1

due to they are unhealthy => ("due to" followed by Noun) because they are unhealthy/ due to its negative effect on consumer's health

stores and shops where sell different kinds => which

such as Vietnam => including Vietnam/ , Vietnam included,

lots of food=> a great deal of

still have been selling => sold

strongly wine => strong/heady/full-bodied

especially rising the rate => which rose...

of this problem => (what problem???)

might has several impacts => might have

As the result, this phenomenon may causes to=> ("cause" should not follow "as the result"; you are advised to put the effect right after "as the result". In addition, "may" + inf, and "cause" is not followed by "to")

has effect to => affect

the selling of these goods has the important role of the overall money for their families => sales of these goods is attributable to/ amounts to a large part/a great proportion of the family's total income.

 may be effected considerably => (effect is noun) may be considerably affected

might supply edequate demanding of great number => (what do you mean here?)

particularly is young people

fastfood or KFC company's => (KFC is fastfood)

hould be permissed => permitted

 

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