Ielts task 2 sangs 13/9 - IDP Ha Noi - What is the contribution in the world of business
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1.      What is the contribution of the computer in the world of business?

It is quite clear that the computer plays a important role for us especial for business field, which becomes much convenient, modern and easy.

There are three main contributions of the computer in the world of business. First of all, everybody knows that the computer is a powerful instrument. It performs all kinds of computations. The particular is resolved exactly and fastly by programing software. You can type contracts conveniently by using comuter and This document is saved carefully. The chief reason why the computer is useful is that it helps administrators to manage easily in term of how many staffs, business results, business qualities… Therefore, chief executive officer knows all activities around their company. Secondly, nobody can deny the fact that the computer is a perfect comminication device. Business people have a close relationship. They can take part in online associations  to share their talents, experiences, skills, successes… each other. Instead of moving to any location, they just sitting at their computer. Those are great oportunities to enhance, update information and connect people easily. And Finally, We believe that the advent of the computer exchange over the word is we research everthing. Business people can look for customers information, documents, candidates, new staffs…

From what has been discusses above, we may draw the conclusion that the computer changes face over the world, which it makes a sidnificant contribution. Computer becomes a part of life of business people.
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It is quite clear that the computer plays a important role for us especial for business field, which has became convenient, modern and easy thanks to the advent of computers.

There are three main contributions of the computer in the world of business. First of all, everybody knows that the computer is a powerful instrument (machine or device). It performs all kinds of computations. The particular is resolved exactly and fastly by programing software. You can type contracts conveniently by using comuter and This  (the document)document is saved carefully. The chief main reason why the computer is useful is that it helps administrators to manage easily in term of how many staffs, business results, business qualities… Therefore, chief executive officer knows all activities around their company. Secondly, nobody can deny the fact that the computer is a perfect comminication device. Business people have a close relationship (the computers to reduce the distance of business performance) They can take part in online associations  to share their talents, experiences, skills, successes… each other. Instead of moving to any location, they just sitting at their computer. Those are great oportunities to enhance, update information and connect people easily. And Finally, We believe that the advent of the computer exchange over the word is we research everthing. Business people can look for customers information, documents, candidates, new staffs… 

From what has been discusses above, we may draw the conclusion that the computer changes face over the world, which it makes a sidnificant contribution. Computer becomes a part of life of business people.

Hello  nguyenthithuhien4394, I think your essay is fine in terms of points and grammars. However, I think you should make it longer or break into paragraphs of each point, and choose the words more carefully.

Regards,

Duong NGUYEN.

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There is a widely held perception that computer plays a vital important role in our fast-paced society. The past 50 years has witnessed the pervasive use of computer in business field, ranging from individual transaction to corporate operations. The purpose of this essay is to discuss all the pros and cons of this trend in a subliminal and an extrinsic way.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that computer has become an integral part of our routine business and benefits us in many ways. First of all, it is the bygone era of snail mails since electronic mails help us bridge the gap of geological distance by only a click of button. Indeed, the burgeoning growth of software programs on the computer platform, coupled with the advent of Internet act as the facilitators to satisfy the insatiable desire of human beings in the virtual world. By the same token, entrepreneurs tap into online shopping stores to proliferate their business, conglomerates balance their books via computer screens or households pay bills through bank portals are not deemed as rare scenes. In other words, the ample use of computer functions profoundly bolsters our standard of living.

Nevertheless, in many cases, unmanageable handling of computer might precipitate one’s business into disastrous situations. Clearly, it is irrefutable that security defects are the root causes of a business’ grave concern. This is particularly so given that many hackers capitalized on these loopholes to penetrate the company’s network at the expense of exposing confidential documents. Take my company as a salient example to lend credence and weight to this alarm. Had not been infiltrated by these inveterate offenders, my firm might have not lost the contract worth millions of dollars to the opponents. In this sense, computer is the effective means for the hotbed of harden criminal-ridden world to make profit from private infringement.

In conclusion, from all have been discussed, one can conclude that computer is by no means vanished in the foreseeable future. To minimize the ineluctable demerits of computer using, any breach might be punished by the strict rigor of law.
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