It is widely believed that children of different levels of intelligence should be taught together, while others think that more intelligent children should be taught separately.
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It is widely believed that children of different levels of intelligence should be taught together, while others think that more intelligent children should be taught separately.


Discuss and present your own opinion.

 

In past educational institutions , children have been taught together based on age regardless of intellectual ability displayed at school. Some people believe that the issue provides several opportunities for children to show their talent , while others claim that the separation of children of different intellectual capabilities in educational institutions has a negative effect on children’s psychology . I partly agree with the policy for the following reasons.

 Firstly, Proponents think that the differences of children’s intelligence has a positive effect on society . To be specific , no sooner is the policy carried out than children can have a chance to accumulate their own knowledge and experience that fit with their ability . Besides , thanks to studying in classes based on levels of intelligence , these children can freely express all of their intelligence in the competition environment . Secondly , the separation of students of different intellectual capabilities can save a huge amount of money for governments and society. A telling example is that by dint of possessing wonderful intelligence , some children can make use of it to graduate earlier to earn a living , instead of running to universal programs from recent educational systems. Furthermore , with government paying the greatest attention to outstanding children , they can totally stimulate children’s patriotism ,followed by the development of their countries in the future.

However, there are a series of disadvantages which is seen in the statement . For example , Seldom do children feel confident with the discrimination between student . Because of splitting the level of educational systems , some children might be admitted to high pressure when living in unfair society . In addition ,  some people are doubted about standards  of the separation of intellectual capabilities . This , hence , lead to some negative consequences that caused the devastation of education systems. A stark example is that with some parents being desired their children to access to high level of education, they may even bribe schools and teachers to reach their purposes. On the other hand , due to learning in different environment , along with , the emergence of some strangers who are even older than them to 10 years old , these children can hardly find out the classmates their own age to share secrets or perform the same favorite activities.

In brief , I’m greatly agree with the statement for educational , economic and psychological perspectives , but really nervous with the situation of lubriciousness (bribe).

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Mình có một chút nhận xét cho bạn nhé:

- Nhìn tổng thể bài của bài bạn khá là cohesion rồi đấy, ý tưởng rất tốt và cũng mạch lac nữa.

- Tuy nhiên,xem xét chi tiết thì mistakes lớn nhất của bạn chính là lỗi ngữ pháp khá nhiều. Ví dụ như câu này "others emphasize...skills". 2 động từ liên tiếp, bạn nên thêm mệnh đề quan hệ phía sau major function of university THAT/WHICH  is...Lỗi mệnh đề bạn lặp lại khá nhiều nên nếu mình là người chấm thi cũng rất dẽ nhận ra, do vậy có thể ảnh hưởng đến kết quả của bạn nhé. Thêm ví dụ nữa trong bài của bạn nhé "in addition, workers do not get job-related skills difficult....result. Caaunayf bạn đáng ra nên viết là "workers WHO do not...ARE difficult to ..."

- Lỗi thứ 2 xuất hiện cũng khá nhiều là lỗi chia động từ , ví dụ sau pay attention to Ving nhé chứ không phải V không. What will happen? chứ không phải là what will be happen?

- Một số động từ không được sử dụng chính xác: choose chứ không phải choice, recruit chứ k phải là recuit, more difficult chứ không phải là dificult nhé.

- Một điểm nữa mà theo mình nhiều người không mấy quan tâm đến là dấu câu ( nhưng cái này lại rất được coi trọng bởi người chấm IELTS). Trong bài của bạn chủ yếu là mệnh đề quan hệ không hạn định( không dùng dấu phẩy) nhưng bạn hầu như đều dung. Do đó, hãy chú ý hơn với những bài viết lần sau nhé,

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