Đề thi IELTS - 06/12/2014 - Some people think that it is best to live in a horizontal city while others think of a vertical city... [closed]

Question

Topic IELTS của tuần này 22/11/2014:

Some people think that it is best to live in a horizontal city while others think of a vertical city.

Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Hạn chót nộp bài là 12h trưa sáng thứ 7 tuần này :)

 

Tuần mới vui vẻ nhé :3

 

 

Answer 1

Nowadays, it is easy for us to find high-rise buildings in cities all over the world. Some people are of the opinion that living in a "vertical" city, where there are lots of skyscrapers, will provide us with better life. However, it is my firm belief that horizontal cities with few tall structures are more likely to enable us to enjoy our lives.

First and foremost, it is undeniable that building high buildings bring out some benefits for the society. A great amount of land is saved when skyscrapers is constructed in the city. For example, a building with 100 floors built in your house's area will generate 100 apartments for 100 households instead of only 1 house for your family. This is especially important when social movement from rural area to big cities occurs due to the urbanization and industrialization in developing countries. Another positive impact of vertical cities is more land for community construction like roads, parks or schools.

Although city with skyscrapers have some merits on its face, I do believe that it is better to live in horizontal cities, where people can find few tall buildings. The first reason for this is living in ground floor is safer in case of natural disasters such as earthquakes or storms. Beside, we do not waste time waiting for elevators, so we can go to work faster in the morning or escape from the building quickly. Someone may argue by mentioning about the lack of land, but we can deal with this problem by building orbital cities around one main city, where people locate their own houses without spend much time going to their workplaces.

To conclude, safety is one of the basic needs that we must obtain before heading for higher needs like social relationships or self-actualization in our lives. Thus, by choosing to live in few-floor houses, you can rest assured and achieve more success in the future.

Comments

I think your essay is quite good in the way you state your point straight away right from the beginning and focus on supporting it during the whole writing. Your vocabulary is also pretty good.
However, your supporting ideas are not really effective. First, I'm not convinced by them. Second, the amount of ideas supporting your argument, I mean the ideas to support horizontal cities, is not significant enough to say that horizontal cities are really better. You need more to persuade people.

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So which mark does this essay deserve?

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Đoạn 1 được nhưng cái ví dụ hơi linh tinh.
Đoạn 2 thì we, you, your nhiều quá thể đáng.

Cảm giác level của bạn chưa tương xứng với những cấu trúc câu bạn bê về.

Nếu không lỗi ngữ pháp và dùng từ, theo mình là 6.5 và nếu có thì 6.0.

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With few tall structures => with a few tall structures
Building high building => constructing high buildings
Bring out => cause, create, contribute
A building with 100 floors built….. => a hundred-floor  structure created/established
100 apartments => a hundred apartment
Although city with skyscrapers have some merits on its face => Although city with skyscrapers HAS some ADVANTAGES on its SURFACE.
The first reason for this is… => The first reason for this is THAT…
Beside => besides
Deal with => tackle
Without spending => without + V_ing
basic needs => fundamental prerequisites
heading => achieving, meeting, gaining
higher needs => more noticeable requirements
 
Comment: pay attention to fundamental grammars and collocations. I highly recommend that you should pay investment on the quality of vocabs and grammars rather than the length of your essay.

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@paultran: Thank you for your suggestion. It is the reason why I posted my essay here :)

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Điểm mạnh là arguement ổn :) mình cũng viết bài này mà ko có ý rõ ràng gì cả :'(
Những lỗi về từ thì như comment trên
Mình thấy phần mở và thân ổn, nhưng phần kết bài cần xem lại
- "To conclude, safety is one of the basic needs that we must obtain before ...": ý safety nhỏ và ko thiết phục lắm, cũng ko phải là conclusion của bạn (theo m hiểu thì conclusion là câu sau).
- Thêm nữa cần xem lại về collocation "social relationships" và "self-actualization" cái này m dịch tiếng việt cũng ko hiểu ý bạn @@
- câu cuối "you can rest assured and achieve more success in the future." không thuyết phục lắm tại ở nhà thường đâu liên quan đến đạt đc thành công trong cs

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@growxd: Cảm ơn c nhé! Về cái ý "social relationships" và "self-actualization", thì mình dựa theo một cái thuyết về nhu cầu, học ở trong quản trị kinh doanh, c có thể xem ở đây
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

Answer 2

• Hi all, this is my essay , please read and provide feedbacks. Thank you

Cities have always been attractive destinations for workforces. Apparently, primary people tend to seek job opportunities and a place to live in the same city.  While many prefer to live in the complex apartment buildings in the city, others may find settling in more spacious houses sustainably. This essay will discuss both points of view.

With regard to vertical city living lifestyle, the apartment buildings essentially provide their residents several advantageous benefits. First and foremost, most buildings have technological and human surveillance ensuring residents’ safety inside the buildings and surrounding areas. Besides, those buildings are usually well-equipped with the accessible facilities such as gym, hot sauna, swimming pool which increase convenient lifestyle for their residents. Thus, many people believe that living in a modern building will provide more essential advantages.

On the other hand, some prefer to seek their residency in more traditional lifestyle living in more spacious neighborhoods. To begin, a house owner can avoid paying a monthly service fee which can make up a considerable amount of expense an apartment owner has to pay. Furthermore, the privacy aspect is strongly considered by house buyers to avoid any potential conflicts with the neighbors in organizing family functions or activities which an apartment owner can hardly do. Therefore, owning a house is definitely beneficial for some certain reasons.

Following the analyzation of essential benefits between living in an apartment and a house, it is clear that living in a house has better advantages. Further, it is expected that a bigger family will prefer to live in a house than an apartment. 

Answer 3

Moving into a super skyscraper has become a controversial topic in recent years. People can live, work, go shopping and do other recreational activities in only one extremely tall building. This lead the normal city we are currently living in to become overshadowed. Some of the reasons for the opposing viewpoints are discussed below

There are two main reasons why it could be argued that living in a horizonal city will never lose its own benefits. Firstly, people feel a sense of fear that their building will become a target of terrorist attacks due to its height. Strong evidence shows that the higher floor people settle in, the more frightened they feel everyday. Moreover, if the government keep staying our houses on land, they will save up an enormous financial source and pour it into improving education system or purifying the polluted air caused by industrial activities.

Despite the above agument, I firmly believe that moving into a vertical city is what we have to do to head for future. The main reason for this view is that it helps give the surrounding areas a big chance to rebuild their ecosystem which we have damaged in the so-called era of industrialization. For example, the flora destroyed by the deforestation will have enough time to reproduce itself and then this will lead the wild endangerd animals to have more space to live. Another reason for this opinion is that it is very convenient for us to have all the things we need in one place. As a result, there is no loger any traffic congestion and the previous wasted time from traffic jams will probably be able to be used up economically.

In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against the settlement on the ground, but it seem to me that living in the super skyscrapers is a better choice for our surroundings. As there is room for disagreement on this topic, it merits further consideration.

Answer 4

      In our contemporary life, chosing a suitable place to live for a long time is one of the most fundamental issue for many people in the world. While some persons claim that living in a vertical city is the best, however others reckon that it is better to live in a horizontal city. From my view point, living in both these areas may bring some benefits for people, and this essay will prove this opinion.

     On the one hand, there are some benefits when people choose to live in a vertiacal city. Firstly, in this area, facilities are often arranged into a region. Therefore, citizents may shop or entertain in the same area without having to travel far from their home. For example, in some places namely Hanoi or Hochiminh city, people living are easily to choose where to go shopping or watching films. In addition, the government and authorities will have more land for public use. Thus, roads and public transport system may be improved and the problem of traffic congestion might be dealt totally. Otherwise, the issue of sucurity may be strengthened when living in a high building, and before entering a building, people are often monitored.

   On the other hand, it is undeniable that residents who choose to live in a horizontal city may have some advantages. From this point, nearly every house has a garden. Therefore, people can spend their square time on their hobbies such as gardening. For instance, many people living in the surburb of Haiphong city are spending a large amount of land for growing vegetable for their meals. This also lead to their economic will be increased and having clear benefits for mental health. Otherwise, it is easy to escape from a building in case of emergency like fire, and people who entering into area do not have to pay money for parking and building services.

   In conclusion, from above mentioned reasons, it is clear that living in a vertical or horizontal city also have a lot of benefits for people in the modern life.

http://scholarshipplanet.info/check/1658/ielts-2014-people-think-best-live-horizontal-city-while-others-think-vertical-city

Comments

in our contemporary society
chosing chắc là do gõ lộn
"some persons" giỡn hả bạn
while rồi sao còn dùng however mà however tốt nhất nên sau dấu chấm
facilities are constructed into the same building . Therefore, citizens are able to go shopping or entertain (mình không nghĩ entertain lại đặt ở đây được) without moving far away from their homes.
in some skyscrapers, people no longer waste their time on deciding where....(people living are easily to choose where to go shopping or watching films)
1 là government, 2 là authorities
for public benefits ( for public use)
Infrastructure (roads and public transport system) will probably be (may be)
mình chưa kịp xem đoạn dưới

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- Opening paragraph: you should try more to paraphrase "best", "better" and give the definition of vertical and horizontal city (of course, by using words different from ones in the task)
- chosing a suitable place => choosing
- the issue of sucurity may be strengthened =>  Security may be strengthened (the issue is not strengthened)
- have some advantages => enjoy some advantages
- every house has a garden. Therefore, people can spend => every house has a garden WHERE the owner's family can spend
- This also lead to their economic will be increased and having clear benefits for mental health (wrong grammar) => This also leads to the economic growth and mental health improvement
- people who entering => people who enter OR people entering
- from above mentioned reason => only "above" or "mentioned" is enough

Answer 5

Newbie mong được mọi người giúp đỡ ^^

Nowadays, while some citizens embrace the development of high-rise buildings in modern cities, others oppose to this trend as they advocate the traditional horizontal city. In my opinion, both types of city have advantages and disadvantages.

First of all, the benefit of living in horizontal cities is undeniable. People living in separate houses have more privacy. For example, family conflicts could be saved from the interference of inquisitive neighbors who live across the street, but the situation would be different if they are your upstairs neighbors. Also, safety is more secured since if anything happens, people could instantly evacuate from their home, avoiding any possibility of jolting others in a stuffed exit hallway. However, nowadays this type of living is less popular as not many people could afford to buy their own houses.

On the other hand, vertical cities hold certain advantages. High-rise apartments could provide accommodation for much larger number of people in the same area of land so the cost of living is considerably reduced. Moreover, building dwellers also benefit from added services such as twenty four seven guard, garbage dumping system or free parking. Nevertheless, people in vertical cities run the risk of losing privacy and getting obstructed view with a sky full of skyscrapers.

In conclusion, both vertical and horizontal cities have their strengths and weaknesses and decision to where to live depends on personal preference and financial ability. As a person who seek privacy in personal space, I am more favor of traditional horizontal ones.

Comments

People living in separate houses have more privacy.

The word living should be replace with live