Should children begin learning a foreign language at primary school?
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Topic: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

 

 

  In today’s world, the trend of teaching a foreign language to children has become incredibly popular. Several authorities recommend that students should start learning a second language as soon as they enter elementary instead of secondary school. This essay will compare both positive and negative sides of this recommendation.

 

  There are a considerable number of visible benefits brought about by the early foreign language learning. First of all, primary students are of the ideal age to learn a language. Research has shown that those who aged from 5 to 10 often produce a twice speedy absorbability towards new languages. Secondly, since learning a language takes comparatively long time, so the sooner the children start, the better. If children begin learning a foreign language at an early age, they will be capable of dealing with the language barrier later in their academic lives, which helps reduce studying force at higher grades. Therefore, they can be more focused on other school subjects and likely to perform better in class. Last but not least, this also gives primary students a chance to develop many skills. Not only does it help enhance communicative skill but teach them how to be methodical as well.

 

  Nonetheless, there are some inevitable drawbacks triggered by acquiring a foreign language prior to junior high school. To begin with, children may have a tendency of neglecting their mother languages. Consequently, this leads to the problematic issue that they will not learn to value their cultural backgrounds. Furthermore, adding a language subject to student’s syllabus means putting more school pressure on them. To illustrate, elementary school students will have to spend more time of their childhood, which is supposed to be active and carefree, doing exercises and homework. Clearly, they will have less time doing other activities such as playing sports or talking to family members. Therefore, this is likely to cause isolation and other health problems due to the sedentary habit.

  

  In conclusion, the idea of offering a foreign language subject to primary school students holds both beneficial and counter effects. Personally, I am inclined to think that the advantages do not offset the disadvantages. Thus, this issue should be taken into a prudent consideration before it is decided.

 

 

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There are a considerable number of visible benefits brought about by the early foreign language learning.

First of all, primary students are of the ideal age to learn a language. 

Nên thay First of all bằng firstly.

Secondly, since learning a language takes a comparatively long time, so the sooner the children start, the better.

Bài viết IELTS thì dài quá.

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Tai sao nen thay bang firstly ha ban. Minh viet la There are ma. Ban co the nhan xet ki hon duoc khong?
First of all, cũng không có vấn đề gì, nhưng thường dùng ngữ này trong văn nói.
Văn viết thì Firstly hay hơn.
ban sai roi.
uh, đây là ý kiến cá nhân mình thôi.
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comunicative skill---> communication skill

mother languages---> mother tongues

Last but not least, this also gives primary students a chance to develop many skills. Not only does it help enhance communicative skill but teach them how to be methodical as well. chỗ này diễn đạt hơi dài dòng, bạn có thể gộp vào chung 1 câu như This also promotes communicaton skill, còn "methodical" thì mình ko thấy liên quan đến học ngoại ngữ ở điểm nào hay ít ra liên quan đến develop skill nói trước đó

this leads to the problematic issue that they will not learn to value their cultural backgrounds: chỗ này diễn đạt giống văn phong tiếng việt quá

conclusion nên nói ngắn gọn từ 1-2 câu 

mình thấy bài của bạn luận điểm ổn đấy có điều nên rút ngắn lại. mỗi luận điểm viết 1 câu, thỉnh thoảng mới kèm 1 câu support thôi. như câu "Furthermore, adding a language subject to student’s syllabus means putting more school pressure on them" bạn dùng 3 câu support đằng sau lận

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http://scholarshipplanet.info/check/1584/discuss-both-advantages-and-disadvantages-of-advertising mong bạn xem giúp mình essay này với, mới luyện nên viết chưa chuyên nghiệp lắm
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Ý tưởng của bạn khá tốt, diễn đạt cũng logic mạch lạc, paraphase tốt (đôi chỗ thấy nhiều từ lạ lạ, k biết người bản xứ có hay dùng những từ đó không, t nghĩ bạn nên tìm từ thay thế quen thuộc hơn cho an toàn :)) )
VD:

prudent consideration --> cautious consideration
absorbability : tra Oxford và Cambridge đều k có, tra trên google toàn thấy ra “absorbability towards polymers, hydrogen, medicine,...” thôi =)) --> thay bằng “new language comprehension”

   In today’s world, the trend of teaching a foreign language to children has become incredibly popular. Several authorities (đề bài là "experts", khác nhau hoàn toàn mà) recommend that students should start learning a second language as soon as they enter elementary (thiếu school) instead of secondary school. This essay will (mình cũng k chắc chỗ này nhưng mình cảm thấy dùng “is going to” đúng hơn “will” vì cái này là dự định rõ ràng) compare both positive and negative sides of this recommendation. (ở trên đã dùng “recommend” rồi thì ở dưới nên thay bằng “suggestion” cho phong phú :D )

 

  There are (“is” chứ nhỉ, đằng sau là“a ... number of” cơ mà) a considerable number of visible benefits brought about by the early foreign language learning. First of all, primary students are of the ideal age  to learn a language. Research has shown that those who aged from 5 to 10 often produce a twice speedy absorbability towards new languages. Secondly, since learning a language takes comparatively long time, so the sooner the children start, the better. (Theo mình ý “First of all” và “Secondly” của bạn hơi trùng nhau.) If children begin learning a foreign language at an early age, they will be capable of dealing with the language barrier later in their academic lives, which helps reduce studying force at higher grades. Therefore, they can be more focused on other school subjects and likely to perform better in class. Last but not least, this also gives primary students a chance to develop many skills. Not only does it help enhance communicative skill but teach them how to be methodical as well.

 

  Nonetheless, there are some inevitable drawbacks triggered by acquiring a foreign language prior to junior high school. To begin with, children may have a tendency of neglecting their mother languages. Consequently, this leads to the problematic issue that they will not (nên dùng là “may not” hơn, vì k nên khẳng định chắc chắn điều gì) learn to value their cultural backgrounds. Furthermore, adding a language subject to student’s syllabus means putting more school pressure on them. To illustrate, (cái cụm này nghe lạ quá, tra google k thấy người ta dùng ở đâu cả, k biết có phải ý bạn là “for example” k, mình nghĩ nên thay bằng “for instance” cho quen thuộc) elementary school students will have to spend more time of their childhood, which is supposed to be active and carefree, doing exercises and homework. 

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Câu này there are đúng rồi.
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Some small grammar mistakes in the passage. 

There are a considerable number of visible benefits brought about by the early foreign language learning.

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Mình thấy bài khá ổn. 

Chỉ có chỗ này thôi nè: Scondly, since learning a language takes comparatively long time, so the sooner the children start, the better.

-> Có since rồi thì đừng so nữa bạn nhé. 

thanks. 

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